Preparing for my parents coming over for lunch this Sunday

[braveheart]

I just wanted to create a safe space here to talk about my preparations for Sunday.

My parents are coming over to my place for lunch this Sunday. I invited them, partly so we can talk properly about my recent disclosures to them about my depression.

I'm stressed, but also excited.

I've got a list of what my mum can and can't eat [she had a stroke last June and was in hospital a month], double checked that cooking in olive oil is ok...

I printed up a recipe that sounds good.

I've been shopping, and got all the ingredients.

I've bought some flowers for the table.

It now remains to wait until Sunday morning...

And I need to figure out what books and artwork it is 'safe' for me to leave up, in case they see 'too much'. [I have a number of books aimed at survivors of abuse, for example. they would be hurt to see that.]

My parents haven't been here, even as I've lived here nearly 4 years. I needed to keep my boundaries clear, but now it feels safe to let them in, and what better time than while my flatmates are in India..

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Re: preparing for my parents coming over for lunch this Sunday...

Good luck with your house-guests, braveheart. I take it this is just for lunch and not to stay over?

 

[Halo]

Re: preparing for my parents coming over for lunch this Sunday...

Braveheart,

Good Luck with your parents and lunch on Sunday. You are just like your name, very brave and I know that it is taking courage to do this

Take care
:hug: :hug:

 

[braveheart]

Re: preparing for my parents coming over for lunch this Sunday...

Thank you Nancy and David.

David, yes, it is just for lunch.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Re: preparing for my parents coming over for lunch this Sunday...

Wishing you the best with this. I'll be thinking of you.

:hug:

You are brave.

 

[texasgirl]

Re: preparing for my parents coming over for lunch this Sunday...

Hope you have a very nice lunch with them. Sounds like you have done a terrific job preparing! Take care,

TG

 

[ThatLady]

It sounds like you have a wonderful plan for a great lunch with your parents, Braveheart. I'll be thinking of you and I hope you all enjoy your time together! :hug:

 

[braveheart]

Thanks.

I hope it goes well. a)I've not tried the recipe before. But, I can cook, even though I've always had some issues with food and eating. My dad is a bit of a food obsessive. And my mum is a fussy eater, even without her special diet, and because of it.... b)Talking about things...what to say, what to ask, what is 'safe'?

 

[braveheart]

It went well.

I am still ... digesting. It was a pretty Big thing for me - and them, - for me to let them in to my life/space.

We didn't get to talk as I'd really wanted, but I'll do this gradually, as I understand what a big thing it is for them, feelings. ..

 

[Halo]

Braveheart,

That is so great that you were able to have your parents over for lunch and let them slowly into your world. I am sure that it will take time to get to the point where you are both ready and able to have the discussions that you really want to have but this is a huge step forward that you should be proud of yourself for....I am proud of you

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Sometimes NOT talking but just being in the same room is the most effective form of communication.

I'm happy to hear it went well, braveheart.

 

[sister-ray]

im so happy to hear it went well:hug:

 

[Cat Dancer]

Glad it went well. :hug:

 

[Halo]

Sometimes NOT talking but just being in the same room is the most effective form of communication.

I wish my Mom knew that :lol:

 

[Into The Light]

braveheart, i am so happy for you! i know how important this is to you. well done :hug:

 

[foghlaim]

i'm glad it went well for you .. just allowing them into YOUR space was a huge achievement. ((hugs))

 

[braveheart]

Thank you everyone.

I talked about things a lot in therapy yesterday, which helped gather my split off feelings....I'm still not 100% sure what I feel about 'letting my parents in'.

I slept for 2 hours yesterday afternoon, after therapy [had already arranged the afternoon off work]and got some deep rest, which was much needed.

However, last night, I hardly slept, and had nightmares when I did sleep. And my anxiety is up again. Although I am reluctant to take beta-blockers again. [haven't taken one since last October]. They seem to increase my depression, and I know how dangerous they are in overdose.

It is clear that my mind is very active below the surface, and it needs slow gentle uncovering, safely, in therapy. Thankfully I have therapy again tomorrow.

 

[Halo]

Braveheart,

I am glad to hear that you talked a lot about letting your parents in while in therapy yesterday and that you have therapy again tomorrow.

One part of your post that really struck a chord with me was this:

It is clear that my mind is very active below the surface

Good luck with your therapy tomorrow and hang in there as you said, slowly, gently and safely

Take care
:hug: :hug:

 

[braveheart]

Thanks Nancy. I hope I get some decent sleep tonight. [its now 10 past 8pm here, so I'll be heading to bed fairly soon.] I have a headache, so maybe the tension is starting to soften. I do hope so.

 

[Halo]

Wishing you a good night's sleep Braveheart :zzz: :zzz:

Take care
:hug: :hug: