More threads by TRleslie


I have had a traumatic brain injury for past 8 years.
My recovery, mentally, has been exceptional, however, my physical recovery is not so well due to paralyzed left arm, very weak left leg, developed epilepsy from severe head injury, and most recently, I was addicted to ativan and demoral pills( demerol, due to I am allergic to nearly every other pain medication)(ativan because I suffer from violent seizures and ativan was prescribed from my former neurologist to help me 'stay calm' during those attacks) I was admitted in drug rehab last August 7th. and I attended AA meetings there and completed that rehab after 2 months. I am proud to say that I have not used drugs at all after 7 August- nearly 1 year:)
But I am finding that I have dveloped new 'dependancies' to other unusual things. such as I can not sleep for more than 3 hours and never make it to REM sleep, unless I use strong sleeping pills each night. I have become dependant on the internet so badly- I never realized that the net could be a real addiction before:(
I make excuses for myself. I say that I need to chat and have 'people' I can talk to because of my physical disability, I can't leave my house easily, I live in a very small town and meeting people is difficult. And when I do get a chance to meet real people they are afraid of my I think because they don't understand what's wrong with me:(
I don't know how to have a life anymore...I don't know how to leave my pc and have a normal life. I also don't know how to enjoy life anymore. I used to paint and sketch and make music. but it's become more of a bother these past few months.


Welcome, Tamra!

How wonderful that you have experienced such good recovery with your traumatic brain injury! Good for you for getting your addiction under control. That must have been tough.

I think the internet is a wonderful tool for those who have difficulty getting out and socializing. I'm not sure about the number of hours a person spends on line and how that would be classified as an addiction. I think there is an article that discusses this in the psychology of the internet forum on this site.

Do you think that setting a schedule for the number of times that you go out of the house may help? Do you go out to shop? Do you go out to any social events? I am currently enjoying a watercolour painting course. Would taking a course bring back some inspiration in art for you?

Are you taking any medication to control your seizures such as depakote?

Guess you can add us as another group of friends to your internet list. :~}



The internet is definately a wonderful tool for those of us which can not have a 'normal' social life:) I have read so much, and met so many fascenating people.
But I recall my neurologist telling me that as a result of TBI I will have a very addictive personality now(explains my dependacy on so many things, including my previous pill addictions)
Yes, now I do control my seizures with tegratol. I used depakote many years but not fr seizure activity, but rather for mood control. I talked with my doctor to stop using those because of the amount of weight gain those caused to me. and at that time I was not epileptic. my epilepsy is a 'developed' epilepsy due to massve head injury. not to use TBI as 'a crutch' but truth is I have recovered well from the actual head injury...but all of the 'after effects' is still even 8 years later, developing and my health is very poor these days :( it seems I NEVER go to see my doctor for a common cold or something simple hahaha always when I see my doctor it turns out to be some big deal. But still, I have life, I am coping well... the only thing missng really is a support system of good friends and family:(
I do go out to shop one time each week. and I go to wash clothes at the laundramat each week...but thats about the extent of my venture from my home. I live in a very remote area with a population of only just slightly more than 500 people.
There are really no courses for art that I can take here:( I moved here because of the beauty of this area. because of the mountains and lakes- I thought I can go sit by the lake and paint and just enjoy the peace and tranquility- but it did not turn out so easily:( I tried to return to cllege, and that was really going well, but I did not like my course of study and soon I lost interest and I started locking myself in my room and wrote a book instead hehehe:) because of computer use for that I eventually became dependant upon the net for everything.
Thank you for your nice comments. no, actually getting my pill addiction under control was really much easier than one wuld think. it's been just shy of 1 year. but this year seems to have passed so quickly:) and I do not feel any need for those pills again. I never realized how often i was using and how dependant I was becoming, last words I ever thought I would hear in my life is, 'you are a drug addict':( But thank God I do have a strong and stubborn mind and when I set my mind to do something, I don't stop until I am successful ast that ;)
As for art I have recently returned to making pencil sketches - usually when my net is down and d/c or if I can't sleep.But as happy as I feel from being creative and at least drawing again, I still don't find as much enjoyment from that as I nce did:(
Anyway...I'm gl;ad now I have a new group of friends:)
thank you for your nce comments and for the warm wecome;)
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