More threads by Thelostchild

Some times when I <self-injure>, I ussually don't remember doing it. I get extreamly out of control. Is ther a name for that? sometimes i can't believe that I even do that. and then I feel ashamed and embarrassed of what i've done. :red:

<Admin edit: please omit details of self-injury. Thanks>
usually with me, si occurs when i am confused. When the huge number thoughts in my head ( mostly negative ) are swimming so quickly that i can't make sense out of them, I can't think possitive, because the thoughts are pretty defeaning... I can't really think about what I am doing either, other than... to do it. Usually, all I can manage to realise is that there is too much emotion for me to handle. Most of the time, I don't even feel the pain.

Sometimes, when I can recognise that 'an episode' of si is coming, i grab a pen and paper and write down any thing i can. Usually it doesn't make sense, but it helps me structure my thinking, which alliviates the confusion. That can lead me to come up with ideas on problem solving, (including interpersonal interactions). Sometimes it doesn't... I am only human after all... and nothing is certain. Some times I call for help. But I know that option is not avaliable to everyone.

I don't think its rare though.
I get to amped up and get very emotional and I can't control it. And sometimes things are racing to fast for me to even think.. When you have your out of control anger don't you feel embarassed. I sure do. I kind of feel bad for my husband. haha
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