More threads by Cavi


First does anyone have a spare cyber hug??...I am writing this to keep from SI'ing or bingeing...

I mentioned in my other post on Going crazy that K was driving me crazy, well she's getting worse today...She's been on my back all day today saying that I am acting ridiculous because what I heard and saw Thursday was a car backfiring...I was adamant that that's not what happened and she point blank told me it was...No use in arguing with her, she know's everything.....

We went out for dinner and I have mentioned here that I have a salt sensitivity...I had had 2 chocolate chip cookies earlier in the day and I was starting to swell...The waiter brought us fresh bread and I didn't want any, K asked, are you going to eat any and I said no because I could already feel myself swelling in my legs...

K said what is making you swell, and I said that i noticed it after the cookies ( these were junbo sized cookies) and she said, there's no way that it could of been the cookies...I replied with, K I know my body and I know how I felt before and after I ate the cookies...She said well it wasn't the cookies...I said your totally invalidating what I am saying and she got all huffy and said no I'm not, I am just talking, man I can even carry on a conversation with you...

I knew at this point to drop it because of a prior incident in a restaurant where she raised her voice and make a spectacle out of herself because she pitched a fit because I didn't want to talk about something...After that incident was when the bingeing all began after starving myself for 6 months...

Anyway I calmly looked at her and said K were not getting anywhere other
than getting annoyed at each other, lets drop the subject and enjoy our meal...She kept it up an d i made the mistake of saying, please k, just drop it I don't want to talk about it anymore...She said well I do and I said I'm not discussing it anymore and she said well excuse me Miss Priss, I can.t even have a conversation with you, there is no talking to you,,,

We left there and went to the shoe shop and I didn't put my sweater or long sleeve shirt on to cover my arms ( I had my sweater on in the restaurant because it's always cold in there) and k said put your shirt or sweater on and I said K, it's to hot out and she said put it on I don't want anyone seeing your arm...I told her that I wasn't going to and she didn't talk to me the whole way home...Least I got a short break for her being on my case...

I wanted away from her when we got home so I got ready to take the dogs for a walk and in the back of my mind was thinking if I felt up to it I would jog...It's hot here so I put a jogging halter top on and shorts...I came out of my bedroom and K said, your not going out with that on are you and I said yes its hot out and she said your stomach is showing and I said so, I'm not going to have a heat stroke by wearing a T-shirt when its hot out...

She shook her head in disgust...which I totally hate...I left and ran and ran and ran until I was about ready to drop...I was pushing the stroller with the dogs in it whch between the two they weigh 38 pounds...

I came back and I'm on here and she keeps staring out me and asking what I am doing and why am I doing it and than shakes her head in disapproval...:rant: I don't want to SI and I don't want to binge so I opted for a cyber hug, which is hard for me to ask for...RIMH
Here are some:

:hug: :hug: :hug:

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time, but I think it is so healthy you are venting here instead of being self-destructive. :hug:


Here are a few more :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

I too think that venting on here is much healthier than either of the things you are thinking about and probably more healthy than attempting to have a conversation with K.

We are here for you anytime so keep typing and hopefully this day too shall pass.

Take care RIMH.
Here's another one just in case :hug:
i am glad too you came here to vent rather than taking it out on yourself.

what you just told us about made me think of a self-help book that was recommended to me that i thought was very good, and if and when you are able to look at something like this, i think it might be useful to you. The Dance of Anger. it basically describes how we all get into certain patterns of behaviour/interaction with people in our lives and when these are negative, it shows you how you can make changes so that the dynamic changes.

lots of hugs from me too :hug: :hug: :hug:
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