David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
Real Love Triumphs
by cre8pc
December 7, 2008
It?s taken me a lifetime to understand the difference between honest love and fake love. Books, poetry, art and movies are all produced with the idea of telling the story of love. The one constant truth is that real love can not be manipulated or controlled. That?s how I know when it?s real.
Real love comes with no strings attached. It?s squishy, foamy, bendy, and stronger than any metal. If love doesn?t feel squishy and bendy, open and free flowing, then it?s the other kind of love. The kind that makes demands. Requires conditions. It is suffocating and manipulative. I?ve been fortunate that I?ve never permitted any love like that kind anywhere near me, but I?ve seen it destroy my friends.
Sacrifice
One of the hardest moments I ever witnessed was the day a minister tried to explain to my then 4 year old nephew that his father had died. I could barely contain myself with the unfairness of this. My brother-in-law started out as a Ranger, then went into the Special Forces. His service to our country was always held secret, even from his wife. My sister never knew where he was, how long he?d be there or when he?d be gone again. She loved him anyway. When he came home, it was always a time of celebration and family. From him I learned that a soldier can be one of the loving types of people on earth. They do what they do because they believe in the right to live and love freely. He was never a killing machine, though he was trained to be.
When he died, there were three funerals for him. Two at military bases and one at home in Carlisle, PA, where he was laid to rest. The funeral procession for the family was several miles long and snaked all through the town. Hundreds of military persons were there in full uniform. As the bag pipes played off in the distance, the military paid their honorary salutes and they handed my sister the meticulously folded US flag. His 4 year old son played with toy cars next to his coffin.
When my brother in law was in his late teens, he wrote a poem that we remembered at his funeral. It was about the miracle of love. It was about hope. I marveled that a man destined to become a well known soldier, with stories of saving downed pilots in Iraq and teaching people in war ravaged countries how to take care of themselves, knew so much about unconditional love.
Circle of Love
A friend, Lori Bourne, wrote the other day of a triumphant love, in a moving post called All Things.
When I first read this passage about love from the Bible 25 years ago, I was surprised at how true it was. I had to admit that I hadn?t always loved this way. But as time goes by, I?ve had many teachers and I?ve listened to them.
Real love is giving permission to be loved and giving your loved ones permission to be loved by others.
by cre8pc
December 7, 2008
It?s taken me a lifetime to understand the difference between honest love and fake love. Books, poetry, art and movies are all produced with the idea of telling the story of love. The one constant truth is that real love can not be manipulated or controlled. That?s how I know when it?s real.
Real love comes with no strings attached. It?s squishy, foamy, bendy, and stronger than any metal. If love doesn?t feel squishy and bendy, open and free flowing, then it?s the other kind of love. The kind that makes demands. Requires conditions. It is suffocating and manipulative. I?ve been fortunate that I?ve never permitted any love like that kind anywhere near me, but I?ve seen it destroy my friends.
Sacrifice
One of the hardest moments I ever witnessed was the day a minister tried to explain to my then 4 year old nephew that his father had died. I could barely contain myself with the unfairness of this. My brother-in-law started out as a Ranger, then went into the Special Forces. His service to our country was always held secret, even from his wife. My sister never knew where he was, how long he?d be there or when he?d be gone again. She loved him anyway. When he came home, it was always a time of celebration and family. From him I learned that a soldier can be one of the loving types of people on earth. They do what they do because they believe in the right to live and love freely. He was never a killing machine, though he was trained to be.
When he died, there were three funerals for him. Two at military bases and one at home in Carlisle, PA, where he was laid to rest. The funeral procession for the family was several miles long and snaked all through the town. Hundreds of military persons were there in full uniform. As the bag pipes played off in the distance, the military paid their honorary salutes and they handed my sister the meticulously folded US flag. His 4 year old son played with toy cars next to his coffin.
When my brother in law was in his late teens, he wrote a poem that we remembered at his funeral. It was about the miracle of love. It was about hope. I marveled that a man destined to become a well known soldier, with stories of saving downed pilots in Iraq and teaching people in war ravaged countries how to take care of themselves, knew so much about unconditional love.
Circle of Love
A friend, Lori Bourne, wrote the other day of a triumphant love, in a moving post called All Things.
Lisa?s husband Ben, a Lieutenant in the Army, had been sent to Iraq at the beginning of the war. Lisa and Ben, only married for a few years, had been living in Germany where Ben was stationed, and had no thoughts of having a baby yet. However, just a week or two after Ben left for Iraq, Lisa found out she was pregnant.
The story could have ended there with an ending you could write yourself. However, it did not.By November, Ben?s dad had gone into an irreversible coma. The cancer had spread to the base of his brain and there was nothing the doctors could do. He didn?t have much longer to live, and Ben had to make a decision: he could only leave Iraq once, for two weeks. Should he come back for his dad?s funeral, or for the baby?s birth?
If you think you know the ending of this story, you might be wrong again.When I first read this passage about love from the Bible 25 years ago, I was surprised at how true it was. I had to admit that I hadn?t always loved this way. But as time goes by, I?ve had many teachers and I?ve listened to them.
Real Love
1 Corinthians 13:1-8a and 13
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails?.And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Love also forgives. It comes in many flavors. There is love for a friend. Love of lover. Love of family. Love of strangers you meet.1 Corinthians 13:1-8a and 13
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails?.And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Real love is giving permission to be loved and giving your loved ones permission to be loved by others.
