Recommending someone

[boi]

Someone asked me to recommend them to my therapist when the time came. I said I could ask.But now I don't want to. It's weird knowing that someone I know goes to the same therapist. When the time comes I will say I am not comfortable. This request has induced a lot of anxiety for me. I don;t want to ask my T this request.
Am I being self centered?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

No, not at all. Indeed, when a client mentions a friend or family member to me who wants to see a counsellor, assuming it's someone whonm would otherwise be a suitable client for me, the first questions I ask is (a) how my client would feel about having the friend or family member also seeing me; and (b) how the friend or family member would feel about seeingb the same therapist as my client.

I have found that people vary quite considerably in how they feel about it. Some are very much against having the friend or family member see me. Others would prefer it. It has nothing to do with worries about confidentiality since all of my clients know that's not an issue. It's simply that, like you, some clients feel "funny" about it being the same therapist.

I think this is a personal decision. Your friend has probably asked the question because they don't want to risk picking a thjerapist out of the phone book. But if you are uncomfortable, ask your therapist to recommend someone else for your friend.

 

[boi]

thanks alot. that makes me feel better. I will wait till it comes up again and let my friend know. I think my anxiety stems from saying no to someone and maybe they wont like me anymore. But I know also if that was the case then they were not my friend in the first place. The anxiety thinking about it is there. But, nobody is forcing me to do anything so I don't have to do anything I don't want to. I think I'm just reassuring myself....