Relapse - no control over my life

[Thelostchild]

Well I did find a really good psychiatrist here in Colorado at the University of Colorado. My psych is a senior resident but she's really good and asks a lot of good questions not just and "how does that make you feel".

Anyway she's keeping good tabs on my eating disorder that is relapsing. She had me write down everything I eat and how much. The only thing I don't do is count the calories or see how many carbs are in what. I just automatically know.

I'm being fairly good I don't

• binge
• purge
• diuretics
• laxatives
• no Adderall

 

[Jazzey]

Re: relapse no control over my life

That's great news TLC. I'm happy you have found that support. And I'm very happy that you're taking care of yourself.

 

[Halo]

Re: relapse no control over my life

Yes it is great that you found a psychiatrist that you like and that she is keeping tabs on your eating disorder.

Keep it up :2thumbs:

 

[David Baxter PhD]

know.

I'm being fairly good I don't

• binge
• purge
• diuretics
• laxatives
• no Adderall

Why were you on the Adderall? Was that prescribed for you for a reason?

 

[forgetmenot]

Thats great news TLC best wishes mary

 

[Thelostchild]

In 2006 I used it when i went back to college, which speed up the eating disorder and I didn't want to tell my psych about it. Im so bad, but my ne psych knows about it now

 

[Thelostchild]

Wow just gotta love the relaps of an eating disorder (being sarcastic). Now im being weighed each week I see my P doc. I did loose more weight but gained it back. yuckk... Im so black and white, yes and no, right and wrong.

 

[Jazzey]

TLC, when I've been relapsed into some of my eating disorders, I could usually link it up to a specific trigger in my life. Do you know why you've relapsed? For how long were you in recovery before you relapsed?

 

[Thelostchild]

I know why, because I feel like I have no control of my own life sometimes I feel like my husband runs it, so I need something of my own to control. thats part of it. And im so scared of being big. I didn't know what it was like to have all these womanly love handle things and hips and until I got back to a normal weight and found out how awfull it is. I hate not to mention im OCD everything.

 

[Jazzey]

Yes, I'm not fond of my curves either TLC . But I prefer the curves to the prison that I felt when I was actively engaging in anorexia...I think I'll live with the curves.

And that's usually when I'm triggered too - when I feel that I've lost control, or when I feel (subconsciously) that I don't deserve to be health / happy *fill in the blank*..

I usually fall back into the patterns after a bad situation or confrontation with someone. It's a way to feel on some level. I don't know if any of this makes any sense?

 

[Thelostchild]

My psych doc and I agreed that I needed to up my dose to 150mg of lamictal so she did she also is letting me take klononip 1mg PRN .To many break downs lately and very emotionally unstable

 

[Jazzey]

I'm happy to hear that she's watching out for you TLC - take good care of yourself.

 

[forgetmenot]

I hope the adjustments to your medication helps you TLC take care mary