Sad

[Ashley-Kate]

I am being transferred yet again. To a treatment that is not specialized in eating disorders and to say the truth just that scares me to death. It is a program for chronic personality disorders and "d?sordre affective" as well as for depression. I am worried that the lack of knowledge of eating disorders may be more harming than good considering that the reason they are transferring me is because my eating disorder is gone down hill and the CLSC is no longer able to take my case because it is too complexe for what they can offer. I am taking this whole transfer thing pretty badly i would say like any transfer i feel like i failed i feel like i am helpless and they basically want to get rid of me but telling me that i am a lost cause is not really ethical so they are going with a transfer instead. I have been in so many different programs because i moved often and also because, i was in treatment as a minor as well i have been through sooo many that i don't know if i can believe in something new yet again and to put my trust into this new therapy after being let down so many times its really hard. Anyway i am having a hard time dealing with it all and well when i struggle to deal with everything my eating disorder simply gets worst.. so i am just confused and really tired of it all tired of the fight and tired of believing in recovery.

 

[adaptive1]

Re: sad

I am sorry Ashley, that must be so difficult to have to start over again. I don't believe for a moment that your case is hopeless, and I don't think the transfer is because of anything you did. You are not a failure you are a fighter. I haven't been through near what you have with an eating disorder , but I have my own eating disordered issues and I can tell you it is harder to deal with than anything I could have imagined. I think you are being way to hard on your self and you deserve to find the best treatment possible, maybe treating some of the underlying issues will help so that you can better deal with the eating disorder. I don't know, but I'm thinking of you.

 

[forgetmenot]

Maybe approaches this illness at a different angle Ashley will make thing start to happen for you as long as you and a team is still fighting there is ALWAYS hope
You are doing you best to stay and to fight and who knows this new team may be the one that sees things so differently that they are able to help you in every aspect of your illness hugs