Sad...

[kelsischanging]

I'm just sad...for me feeling sad is different than feeling low from my depression....feeling sad makes me just want to curl up in a ball and cry, and I am not definitely not a crier... I don't like all these emotions...I have used so many unhealthy coping mechanisms in the past so I could avoid any emotions, but now that I'm in rehab and am really trying to get my life going in the right direction for the first time in a long time and for the first time in like two years I am feeling emotions and am just overwhelmed...the other night I sliped up at relapsed w/ drugs and alcohol and I was telling my psychiatrist about the mess up and he ask me how it felt...he ask if it felt good to be high and drunk and at first I said yeah it felt good but then i told him that it's not that it felt good it's that it felt familiar...being high is a familiar feeling, but emotions that's all new for me...I guess I get so sad b/c I am doing so much through rehab and other programs to get my life on track and I still have been sliping up and it gets frustrating...I'm such a I want it now type of girl and recovery is a long process and I'm loosing patience.... I just get discouraged...thank you so much for reading this...it means a lot to me...really

 

[Cat Dancer]

I just wanted to let you know that I read what you wrote.

Emotions can be so hard to deal with when we're not used to dealing with them.

I hope that all of this will get easier for you as you follow this difficult, but rewarding path to healing.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Feeling sad is[]i] different than feeling depressed, kels. Feeling nervous, worried, anxious, bored, annoyed, angry, happy, content, peaceful, joyous, lonely, euphoric, etc., etc. -- they are all different feelings, all normal feelings. Once you stop running away from them, you'll discover that they won't destroy you, you can experience them, go through them, and survive, and even grow and learn from them and become stronger and wiser as a result.

You've just begun an important journey of discovery. Parts of the journey are rocky and difficult but is is totally worth it in the end.

 

[Eunoia]

sounds familiar. it is overwhelming to actually sit down and think about your emotions or letting yourself feel them and experience them instead of trying to run away from them. and it always does seem easier to go back to 'familiar' ways or so it does at least for the first little bit, but w/ every day, w/ more coping skills that you learn, you will realize those are only ways to avoid your emotions, quick- short-term fixing of something. no one ever said recovery is easy, right? you're doing an amazing job sticking w/ your program and it makes perfect sense why you'd feel overwhelmed and like you want faster changes... but you'll get there if you just hang in there. I wish I had something better to say, just know we're here for you.