Set but not quite

[Ashley-Kate]

thinking about it flirting with the possibility of ending ones life my own for that matter how beautiful life would be after how peacefull it would be for me yes sounds pretty selfish does it not how pathetic talking about suicide as if it was some beautiful thing.. i know it isn't my familly suffered so much when people commited suicide in the past and even i know how it is to live thourgh the loss but then i think if my familly really knew what was going on in my head how i felt how i was living how my life just seems like it is an ongoing death sentence than they wouldn'T expect of me to tryand live they would let me go they would feel bad for having demanding me to live for soo long but i know that is not true .. i don'T want to dye but i do at the same time in my heart i scream save me in my head i scream let me go i can't take it anymore i want someone to save me from one of those parts of me but i haven't clue wich one is worth saving !!1
i am scared !
ashley

 

[HA]

Re: set but not quite

Ashley,

Here is an excellent post by Janet that may be helpful to you right now.
When you feel you can't go on - Psychlinks Psychology and Self-Help Forum

It would be best for you to talk with someone in person as well:
Suicide Hotlines and Crisis Resources - Psychlinks Psychology and Self-Help Forum

:grouphug:

 

[Daniel E.]

Re: set but not quite

And you should call your therapist, too. Maybe get an earlier appointment.

i want someone to save me from one of those parts of me but i haven't clue wich one is worth saving !!

For me, what keeps depression alive more than anything is old habits/behaviors that are either useless or detrimental to my current needs or goals. So that's why I like a behavioral approach that focuses on positive activities, routines, schedules, etc.

 

[Into The Light]

Re: set but not quite

make sure you talk to your therapist. you need his/her support to help you cope with your suicidal thoughts. don't give up.

 

[Banned]

Re: set but not quite

Ashley-Kate (I always thought that was such a beautiful name),

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way. You've been through alot but you've grown and become much stronger as well. Please consult with your therapist, a friend, relative, or anyone...so many people care and want to see you get better. Please hang in there.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

Re: set but not quite

thank you all for your support,
i finally got refered to a specialised clinic a couple of hours away from home by my dr. and well thre is a waiting list of 6 months minimum depending on what situation as well to help me with my e-d problemes so i think that just helped me a lot by giving me some sort of date in a way like as if i can't do anythign to end my life until i at least tried this alternative in the mean time i will be closely watched by my psychologist and my psychiatrist and i see my psychiatrist in 2 weeks abotu and i will probably consider going back on the medication they perscribed me a couple months ago to put me back on track a bit cause i believe that although it didnT' have much of an effect i was not as depressed as i am now so i will also consider my psychiatrist recommendation of increasing the dossage and changing types of med.
yours trully
ashley

 

[Into The Light]

that is good news, i am glad you have something to hang on to now and also i am glad you are open to going back on medication. sometimes the medication is really necessary to get through things and to heal.

 

[ThatLady]

It's good to hear you're going to have someone to talk to, Ashley, and close supervision. These things, coupled with medication, may be what you need to make the difference in your healing process. Give it the best chance you can. :hug:

 

[ladylore]

I am glad you talked to some people about your feelings Ashley. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will get through this.

Know to that there are crisis lines you can call just to talk - with a live voice - who knows what is going on.

Take care of yourself

Ladylore