Should we reconcile?

[TanyaRFB]

I need advice. I'm just trying to get as much input as possible.

My husband and I separated 2 months ago because of his intermittent marijuana use and the lies the habit spawned. We are attempting to negotiate a reconciliation, but he has not moved back home yet.

Then, here comes Rita! She was supposed to hit us head on and we were ordered to evacuate. I was very nervous, so my husband stayed with me Wednesday night. Then, Thursday, she started veering East. Because my house can handle up to a 3, my daughters and I decided not to leave. (Evacuees were taking ALL space EVERYWHERE!) My husband said to remember that half the town was empty, watch the girls, and keep my pistol handy. Then, he left to go 2 hours away to visit with friends (of the hippy type) and he would see us tomorrow, maybe.

It just seemed to me that if he truly wanted to reconcile, he would have stayed to watch over his family during a potentially dangerous situation.

Am I wrong? Advice anyone?

 

[TanyaRFB]

I need advice. I'm just trying to get as much input as possible.

My husband and I separated 2 months ago because of his intermittent marijuana use and the lies the habit spawned. We are attempting to negotiate a reconciliation, but he has not moved back home yet.

Then, here comes Rita! She was supposed to hit us head on and we were ordered to evacuate. I was very nervous, so my husband stayed with me Wednesday night. Then, Thursday, she started veering East. Because my house can handle up to a 3, my daughters and I decided not to leave. (Evacuees were taking ALL space EVERYWHERE!) My husband said to remember that half the town was empty, watch the girls, and keep my pistol handy. Then, he left to go 2 hours away to visit with friends (of the hippy type) and he would see us tomorrow, maybe.

It just seemed to me that if he truly wanted to reconcile, he would have stayed to watch over his family during a potentially dangerous situation.

Am I wrong? Advice anyone?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Perhaps he wanted to go get high?

If he is someone who values weed more than his family, I'm not sure you want to reconcile.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Perhaps he wanted to go get high?

If he is someone who values weed more than his family, I'm not sure you want to reconcile.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

kids point of view

You may still have feelings for himand then you may not but that is not really what's importante sure how you feel is but then again you have kids and would you want them to see there father high when they get home from school or nything would you want them to have that as a vision of there father or maybe if you stay a part well he could see them once in a while and try to stay clean those days therefore giving your daughters a good image of thee father so they don't have to know him as what you know him as .. the poeple that count in this are you and yours well being but also the well being of your daughters they don'T desere that.. crowing up is already soo difficult if you add on to growing up with a father that is not lways there for you in the right way and well it just adds more stress that is not needed sure they need to know there father but to a certain extent.. depending on their age.i believe
yours tully ashley-kate

 

[Ashley-Kate]

kids point of view

You may still have feelings for himand then you may not but that is not really what's importante sure how you feel is but then again you have kids and would you want them to see there father high when they get home from school or nything would you want them to have that as a vision of there father or maybe if you stay a part well he could see them once in a while and try to stay clean those days therefore giving your daughters a good image of thee father so they don't have to know him as what you know him as .. the poeple that count in this are you and yours well being but also the well being of your daughters they don'T desere that.. crowing up is already soo difficult if you add on to growing up with a father that is not lways there for you in the right way and well it just adds more stress that is not needed sure they need to know there father but to a certain extent.. depending on their age.i believe
yours tully ashley-kate

 

[ThatLady]

If he'd leave you and your child to go and visit friends during a major crisis, I'd give some very long and deep consideration as to whether or not I wanted to spend the rest of my life with such a selfish person. He knew you were frightened. He knew there was danger. Yet, he put his wishes (not needs) above your needs (not wishes). That would tell me all I needed to know to make my decision.

 

[ThatLady]

If he'd leave you and your child to go and visit friends during a major crisis, I'd give some very long and deep consideration as to whether or not I wanted to spend the rest of my life with such a selfish person. He knew you were frightened. He knew there was danger. Yet, he put his wishes (not needs) above your needs (not wishes). That would tell me all I needed to know to make my decision.

 

[Rodeogal]

I understand where you're coming from. That is one of the reasons I am leaving my current partner. His excuse is to deal with stress. In my opinion, stress can be dealt with many other ways than with drugs or alcohol.

Drugs are totally against my core values. I believe you have to evaluate your own core values and those you are trying instill in your children.

Leaving his family during a time of crisis, in my opinion, was thoughtless on his part. Again, where are his priorities? Seems to me like putting his family first is not on his agenda.

You and your children deserve better.

 

[Rodeogal]

I understand where you're coming from. That is one of the reasons I am leaving my current partner. His excuse is to deal with stress. In my opinion, stress can be dealt with many other ways than with drugs or alcohol.

Drugs are totally against my core values. I believe you have to evaluate your own core values and those you are trying instill in your children.

Leaving his family during a time of crisis, in my opinion, was thoughtless on his part. Again, where are his priorities? Seems to me like putting his family first is not on his agenda.

You and your children deserve better.

 

[TanyaRFB]

Thank you all. You pretty have managed to sum up my own beliefs. I guess I just needed to know I wastn't the only one who saw it this way.

 

[TanyaRFB]

Thank you all. You pretty have managed to sum up my own beliefs. I guess I just needed to know I wastn't the only one who saw it this way.