Shyness and living with roommates

[BluMac81]

I am curious as to what experiences you all have had when it comes to living with roommates when you yourself have social anxiety, and also any advise pertaining to it.

After 8 years of living alone, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and live with a stranger while renting out a room. It has been HARD. I find it difficult to relax even when in my downstairs area, every time I hear her walking upstairs (and it's loud) I tense up fearing that she might come down (not that I'm doing anything bad). I constantly feel bombarded with feelings of guilt like 'oh i should have thanked her for hooking up the internet' and 'should i or should i not go up to say hi to her since she was gone all day' and the usual awkward (lack of) balance of feeling guilty for not opening up enough to the person (thereby preventing a friendship) in contrast to invading another person's space. In addition to that, my behavior is definitely more self-concious when my roommate is home, I keep the tv volume down extremely low, wait for her to take showers/bath first so I dont use up the hot water, and make sure that I'm dressed properly when I walk back her to outside. So far it's been very difficult... like one issue is that I live in the basement which is 10-15 degrees colder than upstairs, and I am seriously freezing at night here but she refuses to leave the heat on beyond 60F because it costs too much... but it's really uncomfortable for me, and not just temperature wise.... every time I see her it's a confronation about it and I'm a nervous mess already. *sigh*

 

[Mari]

*sigh*

Me too. Some things that I find helpful - to remind myself that other people are not thinking about all these things all the time and I do not have to. I tell myself that it is my space and that I do not have to second guess others - if they have an objection then they can tell me. I also have a small heater in our very cold basement which helps a bit. I worry a lot so if you can get a heater make sure it is safe and that you have a smoke alarm. Rugs, blankets and warm socks also help. :heart: Mari

 

[ladylore]

I agree with Mari - especially about the heater. You may want to invest in one of those.

At present I live alone but I have lived with people before - friends, relationships and roommates (strangers). I quite frankly found the roommate the easiest.

How long have you been living with her? I know what your talking about regarding your behaviour around her as I have done the same thing. But it does where off. If you do get along with her you hopefully will find it easier. Two people sharing a place and coming and going as you please.

Kudos for getting a roommate in the first place. Takes alot of courage Blumac.:2thumbs:

 

[Roy H.]

That's definitely going to be a jolt to me if/when it ever comes to that. If anything, it would probably be with my girlfriend who I've been with for almost 4 years now, so it wouldn't be too bad. Something to consider is maybe if you are paying less than the other individual, you might consider giving them more leway. Just a thought.