David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions for Introverts
by Sophia Dembling, Psychology Today
June 14, 2011
Comebacks to the clueless things people say to introverts.
As a kid, I was an avid reader of MAD magazine, which had a regular feature called Al Jaffee's Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions. (You can still find used copies of the books of the same name.) The snappy answers were the responses you wished you could think of right away instead of two hours later, the clever retorts to dopey and/or clueless questions that would wither the questioner and provide certain smug (if unkind) satisfaction.
This feature came to mind as I was writing the post How to **** Off an Introvert and so I decided to revisit the topic. I can't hope to be funny as the great Al Jaffee, who is the longest-running contributor to MAD. But I thought I'd take a shot at snappy answers some of the questions/comments that drive introverts bonkers.
Why are you so quiet?
by Sophia Dembling, Psychology Today
June 14, 2011
Comebacks to the clueless things people say to introverts.
As a kid, I was an avid reader of MAD magazine, which had a regular feature called Al Jaffee's Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions. (You can still find used copies of the books of the same name.) The snappy answers were the responses you wished you could think of right away instead of two hours later, the clever retorts to dopey and/or clueless questions that would wither the questioner and provide certain smug (if unkind) satisfaction.
This feature came to mind as I was writing the post How to **** Off an Introvert and so I decided to revisit the topic. I can't hope to be funny as the great Al Jaffee, who is the longest-running contributor to MAD. But I thought I'd take a shot at snappy answers some of the questions/comments that drive introverts bonkers.
Why are you so quiet?
- I'm listening to the voices in my head.
- Somebody has to be. (Thanks to reader sb22)
- I'm studying to be a mime.
- Why?
- I can't. Tragic Botox incident.
- I will when you go away.
- I'm only serious on the outside. I'm partying on the inside.
- Always? Have you been stalking me?
- Because the universe is expanding, and if it's expanding, someday it will break apart and that would be the end of everything! (Thanks Alvy Singer.)
- No, just eccentric.
- Why, what have you done?
- Not yet.
- Not all people.
- Only people who ask me that question.
- No, they're delicious with a nice Chianti. (Thanks Hannibal Lecter.)
- No, I'm a slob. That must have been a typo.
- Of course not. I'm here, aren't I?
- No, I pride myself on my low standards.
- Don't be so hard on yourself.
- This is my rapt face.
- Only when you talk.
- Sure I do. Tell me when it starts.
- I didn't know "fun" was a synonym for "loud."
- You're right, I'm outta here.
