forgetmenot
MVP
no repairing me
- Thread starter forgetmenot
- Start date
forgetmenot
MVP
one is truly alone with the darkness and the pain they are.
i don't know how to fight it anymore not when hope leaves not when triggers hit i don't know how to fight i just want it to end so badly i do.
sorry going to try to sleep now see my ttherapist soon take care of me he says why why take care me no reason why to do that now.
i don't know how to fight it anymore not when hope leaves not when triggers hit i don't know how to fight i just want it to end so badly i do.
sorry going to try to sleep now see my ttherapist soon take care of me he says why why take care me no reason why to do that now.
Just try to relax now, forgetmenot. No need to think and torture yourself with thoughts. Get some sleep and go talk to your therapist as soon as you can tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day.
---------- Post Merged at 10:26 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 10:22 PM ----------
We all get overwhelmed when tired and left alone with dark thoughts. Take a break and get some help, please. It is so much better if you just go sleep or relax for a while, take a shower, have a tea, whatever gets you a break from your thoughts.
---------- Post Merged at 10:26 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 10:22 PM ----------
We all get overwhelmed when tired and left alone with dark thoughts. Take a break and get some help, please. It is so much better if you just go sleep or relax for a while, take a shower, have a tea, whatever gets you a break from your thoughts.
forgetmenot
MVP
See my T on July 2 tired now your right i need to sleep
I hope after some sleep you will be feeling much better forgetmenot.Just hang in there and try to remember whatever you are feeling will pass,it may not feel like it ever will,but it WILL.
If you need to,maybe you could call your T,or maybe even email or something?When I have been in your shoes,having contact with my T in some way has been helpful.
If you need to,maybe you could call your T,or maybe even email or something?When I have been in your shoes,having contact with my T in some way has been helpful.
Hope a little relief comes to you FMN...
Even if sometimes the only reason you can think of to do something that takes care of you a little, is that it may prevent the struggle from getting to the darkest and most difficult places, or it may lift a person away a bit from the darkest and most difficult places.... maybe one way to think of it is, that that is still a good enough reason...
Hug to you FMN.
Even if sometimes the only reason you can think of to do something that takes care of you a little, is that it may prevent the struggle from getting to the darkest and most difficult places, or it may lift a person away a bit from the darkest and most difficult places.... maybe one way to think of it is, that that is still a good enough reason...
Hug to you FMN.
forgetmenot
MVP
ok slept a bit today took shower washed hair little things i know but it takes so much effort to do these things
going for a walk now to the pond new baby beaver there one would think that after all this time those words those fears and emotions would go away wrong they do not lessen
i am not in crisis mode now thanks for all who reached out to me i am just so very sad now that all just sad and tired so i will try to go for awalk but my body saying go lie down again
It was like i was back there again and i had no power no way to find her and i was truly lost again dam fears never mind it is over now sorry
going for a walk now to the pond new baby beaver there one would think that after all this time those words those fears and emotions would go away wrong they do not lessen
i am not in crisis mode now thanks for all who reached out to me i am just so very sad now that all just sad and tired so i will try to go for awalk but my body saying go lie down again
It was like i was back there again and i had no power no way to find her and i was truly lost again dam fears never mind it is over now sorry
Glad you are at a different place a bit now FMN and that you were able to let yourself talk a bit and let us hear those feelings.
Sorry for those times that come back to you.
Hugs
Sorry for those times that come back to you.
Hugs
forgetmenot
MVP
amazing how tired one gets after these episodes so i am going back to bed for an hour before i have to go out again sleep is a good way to just escape sometimes
forgetmenot
MVP
Each time i have one of these attacks it is like a piece of me disappears
i lose something i die some more
Therapist says i have to find a different way to not be triggered i need to make different reactions to the fear
listen to music i said try to listen to music keep my mind from going there
try to stay in the present tense don't keep trying to find that someone just keep present
sleeping sometimes helps me but most time i cannot sleep
go for a walk but i tend to wak to water not safe really for me to go there
go for a drive again i just drive and drive and drive aimelessly just drive trying to outrun the emotions ithink
i don't know how else to prevent me from being triggered
i cannot afford to lose anymore of me
another night to get through hate night time but i will try to not stay up too late
therapist ask me another question but i don't want to talk about that person
anyways have to find ways to stop the triggers from taking me away
still shaky a bit fear alway there always.
---------- Post Merged at 10:44 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 10:22 PM ----------
looking at moon now full moon colors a orange and blue and white very bright moonhave to keep present ground myself to here and now to here.
i lose something i die some more
Therapist says i have to find a different way to not be triggered i need to make different reactions to the fear
listen to music i said try to listen to music keep my mind from going there
try to stay in the present tense don't keep trying to find that someone just keep present
sleeping sometimes helps me but most time i cannot sleep
go for a walk but i tend to wak to water not safe really for me to go there
go for a drive again i just drive and drive and drive aimelessly just drive trying to outrun the emotions ithink
i don't know how else to prevent me from being triggered
i cannot afford to lose anymore of me
another night to get through hate night time but i will try to not stay up too late
therapist ask me another question but i don't want to talk about that person
anyways have to find ways to stop the triggers from taking me away
still shaky a bit fear alway there always.
---------- Post Merged at 10:44 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 10:22 PM ----------
looking at moon now full moon colors a orange and blue and white very bright moonhave to keep present ground myself to here and now to here.
Harebells
Member
Hi forgetmenot. Sorry you're having such a rough time of it. Do you get these attacks often? Is there anyone who could stay with you or do you prefer to be alone when you're feeling like this? Hope you have some kind of support available to you anyway.
The moon sounds beautiful. The sun is just about to rise here - very pinky-lilac sky. Lots of birds singing.
Hope you're having a restful sleep as I'm writing this!
The baby beaver sounds adorable. Do they usually have just one baby at a time?
Feel better soon x
The moon sounds beautiful. The sun is just about to rise here - very pinky-lilac sky. Lots of birds singing.
Hope you're having a restful sleep as I'm writing this!
The baby beaver sounds adorable. Do they usually have just one baby at a time?
Feel better soon x
forgetmenot
MVP
i am very very tired it seems attacks are more frequently now just things happening i cannot control anything i am just not well
i run i always run and hide i don't want people near me i need to sleep but have responsibilities i will sleep later i hope
pink sun in morning my aunt would always say storm is on the way then
anyways
Have not gone back to
pond it is a fair walk and i did not have energy to ge back last time
i do think baby beaver is on its own i have not seen anymore unless they stay in the den
sorry i am just sad now just sad thanks for caring i wish i wasn't so sad.
i run i always run and hide i don't want people near me i need to sleep but have responsibilities i will sleep later i hope
pink sun in morning my aunt would always say storm is on the way then
anyways
Have not gone back to
pond it is a fair walk and i did not have energy to ge back last time
i do think baby beaver is on its own i have not seen anymore unless they stay in the den
sorry i am just sad now just sad thanks for caring i wish i wasn't so sad.
Harebells
Member
Take as much rest as you can. Is there any one else who could take over some of your responsibilities for a while? Do you still feel in crisis? Like PrincessX said earlier in the thread you are always so kind to everyone. You always say something that is truly comforting - I hope you can say the same things to yourself and take good care of yourself while you're in a dark place. I know it's said a lot that people shouldn't isolate themselves but I understand, I also need to get away and be by myself when things are hard. It's horrible to find yourself returning to feeling in pain, can feel like back to square one. Did anything trigger it in particular?
No storm exactly but was really windy here today, but then it generally is!
I hope you feel better soon and replenished. I don't really know what to say but thinking of you.
No storm exactly but was really windy here today, but then it generally is!
I hope you feel better soon and replenished. I don't really know what to say but thinking of you.
Me too forgetmenot, I am also thinking of you.
Hope you recover soon. As Harebells said earlier, would be nice if you have a close friend/relative to stay with you.
I would not drive in crisis. I think driving is too dangerous when you feel the way you do, although it gives you an idea of the amount of distraction you need to get out of your current state of mind. I mean, driving is dangerous, but it requires you to focus only on the road, instead of dig deeper in your thoughts. Maybe, you can think of another simple activity, that you are used to doing and requires you to focus most of your present attention on?
Like knitting, or reading, or I do not know really, depends on what you like.
Did the therapist suggest you build up a plan for the next time you are in crisis? Or if the crisis continues? Things like what are you going to do to help yourself, whom are you going to call?
Do you consider seeing a doctor if you keep feeling like this? Maybe they can help with a prescription or advice.
Good luck, get better soon!
Hope you recover soon. As Harebells said earlier, would be nice if you have a close friend/relative to stay with you.
I would not drive in crisis. I think driving is too dangerous when you feel the way you do, although it gives you an idea of the amount of distraction you need to get out of your current state of mind. I mean, driving is dangerous, but it requires you to focus only on the road, instead of dig deeper in your thoughts. Maybe, you can think of another simple activity, that you are used to doing and requires you to focus most of your present attention on?
Like knitting, or reading, or I do not know really, depends on what you like.
Did the therapist suggest you build up a plan for the next time you are in crisis? Or if the crisis continues? Things like what are you going to do to help yourself, whom are you going to call?
Do you consider seeing a doctor if you keep feeling like this? Maybe they can help with a prescription or advice.
Good luck, get better soon!
forgetmenot
MVP
I am ok now i am told to do something different when i am triggered like listen music but i cannot do that i have to have some kind of control so i went and drive and found the one missing i am ok i have that person with me now so no more crisis i am safe now and so she safe now
i know i should not drive but i have to find someone i have to drive i have to stop the fear stop the sadness so if i sit and do nothing the anxiety takes me too far away
i did call someone this time i called and told him what i was doing i had direction this time not driving aimlessly this time.
No no doctors i don't want to go there but right now everyone is safe now so i am ok now i am going to bed soon i really am exhausted one day at a time right that is what i do take one day at a time thanks for understanding
Just don't see hope anymore hard to keep going when hope is gone
i know i should not drive but i have to find someone i have to drive i have to stop the fear stop the sadness so if i sit and do nothing the anxiety takes me too far away
i did call someone this time i called and told him what i was doing i had direction this time not driving aimlessly this time.
No no doctors i don't want to go there but right now everyone is safe now so i am ok now i am going to bed soon i really am exhausted one day at a time right that is what i do take one day at a time thanks for understanding
Just don't see hope anymore hard to keep going when hope is gone
I am sorry you've been having a rough time forgetmenot.I get it,I understand what you go through.
I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear right now,but when was the last time you turned your music up loud and danced?Like danced through an entire song?I do it sometimes and there's no way you won't feel much better afterwards.When I'm having a rough time and I can make myself actually get up and do it I feel so much more grounded,it gets my whole body moving and just makes me feel so much better and clear headed.
It's worth a try.
---------- Post Merged at 09:54 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 09:48 PM ----------
I realize how that sounds,and I thought it sounded stupid too when I first read it somewhere,until I tried it.
I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear right now,but when was the last time you turned your music up loud and danced?Like danced through an entire song?I do it sometimes and there's no way you won't feel much better afterwards.When I'm having a rough time and I can make myself actually get up and do it I feel so much more grounded,it gets my whole body moving and just makes me feel so much better and clear headed.
It's worth a try.
---------- Post Merged at 09:54 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 09:48 PM ----------
I realize how that sounds,and I thought it sounded stupid too when I first read it somewhere,until I tried it.
forgetmenot
MVP
No life in me now iwish i could do as you say LIT I can breath tonight knowing someone is safe now for now anyways i will maybe one day do as you say Saying goodnight soon i think maybe i will sleep some tonight thanks for your advice and your care
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