Social anxiety ruling my life

[BluMac81]

So I recently bought a house in Denver and moved there, hoping to improve my life after my sister moved out. When I started my home search, I told myself that once I get settled in Denver, than I will become more socially active, because I had gradually stopped going to all social events and school ended for me so I was pretty shut in. And now, here I am settled in this new house, and social anxiety has me locked in like I'm it's prisoner. One thing I know is that the longer I shut myself in without going to social things, the more difficult going out and doing social things becomes. There are so many ways I want to get involved with the community, to have a life for once, get a girlfriend and some friends, attend the sporting events I like (playing tennis, etc.) and all that; but right now I am just struggling with things like going shopping at walgreens, safeway, and wal-mart, I get so tense like everyone is watching me, and I feel so inferior to everyone, even jealous about those who have girlfriends and appear confident and all that (and that jealousy, aka envy, is something I need to stop now, as I am a christian and envy is a sin).

I would say that the psychological help that I am receiving is basically non-existent. I do take an SNRI, Effexor, at a rather high dosage twice a day, and I take about 6mg Xanax throughout the day (which is a lot, I know, I grew a tolerenace to it). I haven't had a therapy session in years, but I am trying to set that up in the new city I moved to, I just need to get myself to wake up early, which is a pain for me because I am extremely OCD about sleep habits and switching up my 12am bedtime 11am waking period is very difficult.

Life at the new house is fine otherwise, I just hate the feeling that I am not doing enough to "progress" in my life, and for me, progressing means overcoming social anxiety, so the question is, how do I get over it? Feel the fear and do it anyway? Yeah I read the book, it works a few times, but I guess I'm too weak to continually do it. What should I do? I feel like I have no life, and that I'm a loser and a bum for not having a job, and only taking one online class this semester... such a bumb I am... and leeching off the government like this with disability, I feel so bad. I really want to fulfill a purpose, help others, live life to it's fullest while serving God to the best of my ability, but I'm not even at square 1, I'm at square 0, since I still feel anxiety even just in going shopping. How am I supposed to live a fulfilling life like this? I keep telling myself though, it'll be gradual, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I will go out a little more every week, and eventually get a pattern of going out and making friends. But apparently that isn't good enough for me, the speed at which it is progressing, it's so slow I can't even tell if I'm going forward or backward.

I sometimes think that if I was to hit a deep depression, or a difficult sickness or grief, than I might get involved with others, like in support groups and such, but my god, there has to be a less painful way of motivating me! And it's not just because of people that I don't go out much, I just find the outside... boring, like taking nature hikes and going to the park... it all feels so boring, and the entire time I just want to go home. Maybe it's the generation I grew up with, multi-tasking several stimuli at once, and instant gratification via the internet.

Right now I am just stuck, and I need help getting 'un-stuck', by overcoming the first hurdle in getting over my social anxiety problems. Anyone have any suggestions?

 

[Mari]

H! It seems like you have made quite a few changes and that can certainly increase general anxiety. Seeing your doctor(s) is always a good step and is one way to get out and about. You could also ask for a referral to a support group now, again it is a way to get out and connect with other people. It sounds like you are motivated so now you just have to take active steps. Good-luck.

 

[forgetmenot]

You are not leeching off governement you have an illness and that is why you have been given the support You can get out and do volunteer work thus giving back to your society hun. Work with animals with eldelry with homeless but give back that way ok. Doing volunteer work there is less pressure put on you you work at your own pace and people understand if you have some anxiety and are not critical This will also get you out amongst people volunteering is like a therapy it is hun it makes one feel good about themselves. See what there is in your community something that interest you ok that you can volunteer at hugs

I agree with Mari time to talk to your doctor is now while you are motivated to change

 

[BluMac81]

Thanks you two, I'll look into finding some volunteer work around town that I could do, I'm already a member of the Knights of Columbus, so that would be a good place to start. It's rather more easily said than done when it comes to getting a doctors appointment, I have to go through the VA here in Denver, and they are so understaffed / under-resourced that any appointments made have to be made months in advance, and they don't get back to you if you miss a call, I have been waiting for knee surgery for 3 years, back when I had the initial appt set up, I missed their call, and called back and left a message, but never received a call back, so over and over again I have asked my doctor to put me 'on the list' for knee surgery, but it seems to get overlooked. This is an issue because I can't quite exercise as much as I want to, due to the knee problem, and now a badly infected big toe problem, I know exercise will help my mood. Well, I hate to get political on you guys, but this is the kind of healthcare you can expect when and if Obama-care goes through. Just thought I'd point that out

Thanks again, I will check back soon.

 

[wheelchairdemon]

I used to go through those kinds of feelings as well. I couldn't shop or go into crowds because I felt like everyone was staring at me. It was like I had a big flag on my forehead that said I was mentally ill.

When I read about you going through a similar experience, and the lack of motivation and the sleepiness, my automatic reaction was to look up the side-effects of the 2 drugs you named. I even checked them for drug interactions.

I did this because, in my case, that's what turned out to be the problem. I eventually got switched over to another drug, then another treatment, and then finally off all medications and treatment altogether. Sometimes drug mixtures work for some and not others. We're all individuals.

If you can, why don't you read up on your medications first, check the drug interaction checker, and then try talking to your doctor again? It might be worth a try.

If you feel like reading up on your meds, visit this site.... it gives the exact same details about the medications as the CPS (Compendium of Pharmaceuticals and Specialties) Book does.
RxMed: Prescribing Information

For drug interactions, check this site (recommended to me by a pharmacist): Drug Interactions Checker | Drugs.com

Just some thoughts. I could be totally wrong. Each person experiences things differently.

Good luck.

 

[michavalos]

I also experienced this kind of situation, though it happens most of the time when I am not that confident. It seems I am afraid to every people I see and it really ruins my day because I cannot do the things that I need to do. I am slowly recovering and eventually I am able to manage it, thanks to my family who is always there supporting me.