More threads by user125

U

user125

I have a question guys. Is there a term for someone who dislikes someone upon meeting them for the first time? (w/o any interaction)

Second question is. Let says.. theres a kid who's had a difficult life, and lets say.. you've done your best to be that person's friend, you've bought them lunch, dinner, taken them out to movies.. etc. always try to be there for that person.. but the person is for the most part..unresponsive, sometimes uncaring. and later on tells you that, that the reason why that person acts in such a way is because that person dislikes you.

I personally can relate.. there were people in my life.. who tried to be there for me.. but i didn't really apprecaite it much.. I always like people who were carefree so i could forget about my problems... a friend of mine recently expreience this.. and I personally couldn't find a reason why i disliked the people who tried to help me during my hard times... but now that Ive matured.. i really do apprecaite what theyve done.. however, i still can't find a reason why i felt that way.. and i cant give my friend a reason why such a person would treat her like that. That person told her... "i don tknow why i dont like you.. i've tried really hard to find a reason but I can't"... thats how I felt too.. Is it because when one person goes into depression and becomes soo apathetic, that you just dont have reasons for disliking people? Any information would be great, as I too would like to know the reasoning behind why I felt such feelings as well.
 

David Baxter PhD

Late Founder
Hi, user125 -- I don't know how I missed this post but somehow I managed to... my apologies for not replying earlier.

The answer to why we like and dislike certain people is actually a complicated one. It's a bit like asking why we fall in love with one person and not the other... it's probably affected by numerous little things like small physical features, the way s/he talks, the way s/he walks, the way s/he looks around the room or at people or doesn't look at people, certain personality traits or behaviors, the way s/he eats or drinks or chews gum... any number of little characteristics and habits. I think another thing that's very important is that if you have had a negative impression of one person or a negative (e.g., hurtful) experience with that person, you are likely to react negatively to other people later on who remind you of that person.

Maybe the reason you don't like an individual today is because something about that person reminds you of the 7 year old girl in second grade who made fun of you...
 

Similar threads

This is a difficult conundrum. My son lies between Asperger's and other Autistic spectrum symptoms. Firstly half your battle has been getting a diagnosis (well done). With my son I was told he had a language and communication disorder until the unit he was supposed to go to would not touch him with a barge pole. I then went back to the child development doctor who gave the initial diagnosis and basically exploded wanting to know answers as to why my...
Replies
5
Views
3K
Written for therapists but informative for anyone in or out of therapy, the excerpt below gives guideposts for healing and explains why some therapists seem to "tip toe" around trauma with new clients ("let the patient lead"). https://www.psychiatrypodcast.com/psychiatry-psychotherapy-podcast/polyvagal-theory-understanding-emotional-shutdown by David Puder, M.D. Coming Out Of Shutdown Mode So how do we climb back out of shutdown mode? The opposite of the dorsal vagal system is the...
Replies
0
Views
63
My painful relationship with Social Media by Sam Plavins, She Walks the Walk September 14, 2022 Pictures can be deceiving. Like the one above… You’d never know that a few hours before I was a crumbling hot-mess-of-a-Sam. It was one of those uncontrollable sobbing moments… I’m talking can’t dam the tears / ass glued to the couch with the Kleenex seeming five miles away and my pyjama top taking on the role of glorified snot rag. If you’ve never had a moment like this, lucky you. But, I...
Replies
0
Views
187
How Social Anxiety Affects the Brain Psych Central Sept 7, 2022 Research shows changes in important areas of the brain, such as the hippocampus and amygdala, can be affected by social anxiety. Social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia, is a form of anxiety that causes intense fear and embarrassment in social situations. For example, it’s common to feel slightly nervous when meeting new people or speaking in public. People with social anxiety disorder can experience a paralyzing...
Replies
0
Views
957
When Positive Messages Feel Bad: Why I'm Changing How I Use Social Media by Ashley Dunnwald, TinyBuddha.com August 8, 2022 “How wonderful that we have met with a paradox. Now we have some hope of making progress.” ~Niels Bohr Social media is indeed a paradox in that it has the power to be both good and evil simultaneously. Ironically, one of the most harmful things about social media is the abundance of “positive” messages. You’re probably wondering how something that creates so much...
Replies
0
Views
989
Top