Social Interaction : Liking/Disliking someone

[user125]

I have a question guys. Is there a term for someone who dislikes someone upon meeting them for the first time? (w/o any interaction)

Second question is. Let says.. theres a kid who's had a difficult life, and lets say.. you've done your best to be that person's friend, you've bought them lunch, dinner, taken them out to movies.. etc. always try to be there for that person.. but the person is for the most part..unresponsive, sometimes uncaring. and later on tells you that, that the reason why that person acts in such a way is because that person dislikes you.

I personally can relate.. there were people in my life.. who tried to be there for me.. but i didn't really apprecaite it much.. I always like people who were carefree so i could forget about my problems... a friend of mine recently expreience this.. and I personally couldn't find a reason why i disliked the people who tried to help me during my hard times... but now that Ive matured.. i really do apprecaite what theyve done.. however, i still can't find a reason why i felt that way.. and i cant give my friend a reason why such a person would treat her like that. That person told her... "i don tknow why i dont like you.. i've tried really hard to find a reason but I can't"... thats how I felt too.. Is it because when one person goes into depression and becomes soo apathetic, that you just dont have reasons for disliking people? Any information would be great, as I too would like to know the reasoning behind why I felt such feelings as well.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Hi, user125 -- I don't know how I missed this post but somehow I managed to... my apologies for not replying earlier.

The answer to why we like and dislike certain people is actually a complicated one. It's a bit like asking why we fall in love with one person and not the other... it's probably affected by numerous little things like small physical features, the way s/he talks, the way s/he walks, the way s/he looks around the room or at people or doesn't look at people, certain personality traits or behaviors, the way s/he eats or drinks or chews gum... any number of little characteristics and habits. I think another thing that's very important is that if you have had a negative impression of one person or a negative (e.g., hurtful) experience with that person, you are likely to react negatively to other people later on who remind you of that person.

Maybe the reason you don't like an individual today is because something about that person reminds you of the 7 year old girl in second grade who made fun of you...