Someone save me

[Ashley-Kate]

I don't know how to hold on anymore.. a couple of months ago i felt i had a reason to live something that was keeping me going on , my grand-father had cancer and was in treatment to beat it I was there for him , then 2 weeks ago they tell us he is not going to make it and he has a few weeks left. he passed away a week ago. Ever since i lost control... binging and purging every chance i get. I am still on the waiting list for the day program and now i am on the emergency list for the waiting list so i should start it soon yet I don't know when that will be. I am terrified cause i don't know how to stop myself anymore. I can't take anymore stress and it just seems that stress is all that i get. i don't know how to deal anymore.

help i don't know how to get past this anymore

 

[forgetmenot]

Re: someone save me

Hi Ashley Your grandfather death has hit you hard
I hope you get into therapy soon if not go to emergency okay get stabilized
tell them you need help now okay.
You have to think your grandfather would want to see you well Ashley Kate right
he would want you to be happy
You are spiralling out of control and i think if you go into the hospital emergency they will help perhaps give you some medication too.
Don't leave it too long okay if you need help now go to hospital
Your grandfather stayed as long as he could okay it may help you to have some grief councilling as well.
You can get past this okay with help you can get strong again stable again it will just take time
you can do this you have done it before. This is just a hard time for you but you will get strong again you will.

 

[Retired]

Ashley Kate

I am very sorry for your loss. It is very difficult to lose someone we love, and the wonderful memories you have will be with you forever, while the pain will eventually become less.

Grieving for the loss of a loved one is normal and it is OK to cry and to feel sad. However it is also a time to make use of the support resources you have available. Can you contact your therapist or the people who were helping you at Douglas Hospital?

 

[Ashley-Kate]

at the moment the douglas hospital is doing the best they can because they have a shortage of staff at the moment. so i can'T be seen more often and i am already on the waiting list to get into the programme rapidly so they can'T do much more. At the moment what seems to be keeping me alive is work cause when i am at work i can'T binge or purge and there fore i am okay in some ways my days off are torturing and painfull because reality kicks in and its hard..

 

[Retired]

Is there someone close like a trusted friend or family member who could stay with you until you can be seen by your therapist? Do you have a family doctor who could see you in the meantime?

 

[desiderata]

You've started to help yourself by reaching out. Don't give up. Keep talking. People are listening. You have to believe that your perceptions will change. We have night/darkness and day/light. You can't have one without the other. So when the darkness pervades you, remember the light is coming.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

Hello,
just thought i would let you all know that i am starting the day program for eating disorders next week on tuesday it is a 12 week program I am very nervous but really relieved. I have also recently begun a relationship with someone that is really helping me deal with all of this.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Thank you for the update, Ashley. Good luck with your program!

 

[forgetmenot]

That is good news I hope it helps stabilize your illness and you can get feeling better soon take care Ashley Kate