More threads by David Baxter PhD

David Baxter PhD

Late Founder
Stuck on the Rage Road
Excerpt from the Fall 2008 issue of bp Magazine

Mood specialists are careful to distinguish between occasional hot flashes of anger and the long-simmering irritability and rage—angry outbursts lasting over several days, during both manic episodes and agitated states of depression—that is symptomatic of bipolar disorder. During a manic episode, experts say, mood changes can swing from irritability to euphoria to depression—all within a 25-minute period of time.

“Instantaneous anger that lasts a few minutes and occurs twice a week is not bipolar, it’s being angry,” says David L. Dunner, MD, FACPsych, director of the Center for Anxiety and Depression in Mercer Island, Washington. “Irritability can be present during highs and lows, but irritability without elated mood makes me suspect the illness may not be bipolar.”

In other words, everybody gets angry. Just because you have a head-turning temper tantrum doesn’t mean you have bipolar disorder. Anger is a common response to both physiological illnesses like cancer and heart disease and mental illnesses such as intermittent explosive disorder, major depressive disorder and substance-induced mood disorder.

“As bipolar disorder receives more media attention, it’s easy for any type of abhorrent behavior to be attributed to it when in fact, this has to do with one’s temperament,” says Ronald A. Remick, MD, a consultant psychiatrist at St. Paul’s Hospital in Vancouver, British Columbia.

“Bipolar patients are not angry, hostile, irritable people with short fuses,” he emphasizes. “If people with bipolar illness have anger issues, they have anger issues.”

It is, however, a side of bipolar disorder that has long passed under the radar screen. Many people with bipolar say that uncontrolled anger has destroyed their marriages, families and personal relationships, ruined their careers and left them emotionally isolated...
 

Laj

Member
Is there any more information on intermittent explosive disorder in any of the forums? I have never seen such explosive reactions to the most minor of situations!
 

Retired

Member
intermittent explosive disorder

Laj,

Would you elaborate a little on the circumstances, the people involved and the form the behaviour takes in these explosive reactions?

Is there a feeling of remorse following the incident?

Are there any current diagnoses that have been identified and or being treated?
 

Laj

Member
I've only seen him get explosive with me - so far. Although when we first started dating he said someone once told him he had an explosive personality. I should have taken that hint. He explodes if I don't roll the car window down the way he likes it. It has to be just so far down. He explodes if I want to get my haircut too early after my last one. Explodes into tirade saying how he for 5 years told me how he liked it cut and I never listen to him. My hairdressers try their best. Another incident involved our neighbor's water hose. I mention to him that we have a hose in the backyard. I KNOW WE HAVE A HOSE IN THE BACKYARD!!! Every explosion is accompanied by profanity. I retreat. He never apolog?zes but becomes very affectionate later...and wants a kiss or hold hands. I know he keeps in touch with one of his old girlfriends who is a psychologist and who may be telling him that I am the root of his unhappiness...he has implied. The questions he asks sounds like it may come from her. Example: on a scale from 1-10 how do you relate our relationship?
I don't think he has been formally been diagnosed for this. Remember, it's others who make him feel this anger.
 

Retired

Member
If I understand correctly, this is a man to whom you are married (based on information shared in another post),

yet he maintains an ongoing relationship with another woman with whom he may have been romantically involved, a woman with the professional integrity of a weasel, who belittles and bad-mouths you, which he then reports to you:

one of his old girlfriends who is a psychologist and who may be telling him that I am the root of his unhappiness.

A man who berates you for trivial actions, is verbally abusive yet remorseless for his actions but expects demands intimacy from you.

So the way I see it, you appear to be disrespected; verbally, psychologically and emotionally abused.

What's in it for you in this relationship?
 

Laj

Member
The psychologist is one of a few ex-girlfriends he maintains a relationship with. Before he got smart and got pre-paid phone cards which I am sure she told him to do, I had checked his cell phone records. Before he got these pre-paid cards he was calling at least 3 females once a week, every week every month. Then abruptly it all stopped and only familiar numbers appeared on his statements.
What's in this relationship for me? Nothing at all emotionally. He's moved me and all my belongings across the country, I retired early to do this meaning less pension benefits. It sounded like an excellent plan at the time because he said we would be able to travel more if we lived on the continental USA. I was I love with him at that time - not suspecting anything. I thought it was a good plan before I knew he was setting up his chess pieces to "check mate" me, keeping secret charge cards, former girlfriends...one being the psychologist who he stays with in NY, who he wines and dines etc. bought gifts for...So now, I am dependent on him to receive medical benefits as his wife and by keeping the status quo, I am physically supported...until I am able to find a solution...I am trapped. I know his nature now but too late. I don't want to let on that I know his girlfriends names, addresses, phone numbers etc. I will turn that info over to an attorney when I get a solid plan. Thanks for your input! He is hoping for me to come into family money...I believe this is why he stays married to me. He will try to manipulate me to get it for himself (or someone) if and when it comes in. Yes, this relationship had belittled and humiliated me. But that is only for now. Keep your friends close but your enemies closer.
 

Laj

Member
Thank you for your reply. I know I should not be so intimidated by him. But he is extremely intelligent and is able to turn any negative situation he finds himself caught in to his favor. I try to stay ahead of him but because I am not "slick", I fail most of the time. Thank you for validating what I am going through is indeed strange to say the least and his psychologist girlfriend is perhaps adding fuel to the fire.
 
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