Im 18 years old now, nearly 19, but when i was 15 i started smoking cannabis heavily, partly to fit in with the group of people i was friends with and partly because I was at a private school with rich kids who used to bully me because I didn't have rich parents. It was my escape.
I used to smoke it through a bottle concentrating the smoke. Much heavier than spliffs.
After about a year and a half of this heavy smoking, I found that the effects began to change from a relaxed feeling and giggly to feeling paranoid and anxious. But I still smoked because I felt like I still wanted the escape, although I also didnt want my friends to think I was 'a lightweight' and bottling out.
One night, one of my friends brought round a different variety of weed that smelled different to anything else I had had before, and we all had a heavy smoke. We were sat watching music videos and then I experienced what I can only describe as a panic/anxiety attack. This wave of negativity came over me and I felt very scared that something really bad was about to happen.
(incidentaly the weed that was smoked than night also caused cannabis psychosis in one of my other friends)
Ever since that night smoking weed cause these horrible aniety attacks where I was constantly worried that something really bad was about to happen. It seemed like a gut feeling.
My problem is that I have now quit smoking cannabis for about a year and a half but these feelings of anxiety have not gone away. I am constantly anxious about something, especially social things. I am always worried about making a fool of myself or saying things that would cause people not to like me. So if I am around people I do not know I get very anxious and cannot think straight enough to be albe to hold a normal conversation.
The only way I can find to overcome this is to take other drugs such as ecstasy or amphetamines, or by getting very drunk.
Whenever i take Ecstasy or amphetamines it amazes me how well I get on with others. I can make tons of new friends in just one night, but when these people see me again when I am not 'up' they always ask me whats wrong and if something bad has happened when really nothing has happened except this anxiety/tiredness has taken over again.
I hate having to do this and I dont do it often but I cant help feeling that I cant enjoy myself without them. And whenever I do go out withought them I don't usually enjoy the night because I can't interact with people withought anxiety taking control of me.
This causes me to become depressed. I also feel (and look) very tired and lethargic. These all seem to be related. When I am more tired, I am more anxious and more depressed. When I have more energy I am less anxious.
I eat well so I know it is not to do with my diet.
I cannot go on like this. I am constantly craving drugs because I just feel like when I take them I behave like any other normal young person my age Being sociable and enjoying life, but when I am sober I feel detatched and distant from everyone.
What can I do because I feel like my youth is wasting away while I know it should be the best time of my life.
Please help
I used to smoke it through a bottle concentrating the smoke. Much heavier than spliffs.
After about a year and a half of this heavy smoking, I found that the effects began to change from a relaxed feeling and giggly to feeling paranoid and anxious. But I still smoked because I felt like I still wanted the escape, although I also didnt want my friends to think I was 'a lightweight' and bottling out.
One night, one of my friends brought round a different variety of weed that smelled different to anything else I had had before, and we all had a heavy smoke. We were sat watching music videos and then I experienced what I can only describe as a panic/anxiety attack. This wave of negativity came over me and I felt very scared that something really bad was about to happen.
(incidentaly the weed that was smoked than night also caused cannabis psychosis in one of my other friends)
Ever since that night smoking weed cause these horrible aniety attacks where I was constantly worried that something really bad was about to happen. It seemed like a gut feeling.
My problem is that I have now quit smoking cannabis for about a year and a half but these feelings of anxiety have not gone away. I am constantly anxious about something, especially social things. I am always worried about making a fool of myself or saying things that would cause people not to like me. So if I am around people I do not know I get very anxious and cannot think straight enough to be albe to hold a normal conversation.
The only way I can find to overcome this is to take other drugs such as ecstasy or amphetamines, or by getting very drunk.
Whenever i take Ecstasy or amphetamines it amazes me how well I get on with others. I can make tons of new friends in just one night, but when these people see me again when I am not 'up' they always ask me whats wrong and if something bad has happened when really nothing has happened except this anxiety/tiredness has taken over again.
I hate having to do this and I dont do it often but I cant help feeling that I cant enjoy myself without them. And whenever I do go out withought them I don't usually enjoy the night because I can't interact with people withought anxiety taking control of me.
This causes me to become depressed. I also feel (and look) very tired and lethargic. These all seem to be related. When I am more tired, I am more anxious and more depressed. When I have more energy I am less anxious.
I eat well so I know it is not to do with my diet.
I cannot go on like this. I am constantly craving drugs because I just feel like when I take them I behave like any other normal young person my age Being sociable and enjoying life, but when I am sober I feel detatched and distant from everyone.
What can I do because I feel like my youth is wasting away while I know it should be the best time of my life.
Please help
