Your post kind of gives me a different perspective on my husband's desire for control.
By the way, I finally gathered the courage to confront my husband's critisizing behaviour. I stated exactly what Peter wrote here, that noone has the right to claim another human being for themselves. Then I pointed out the abusive traits of his criticism and I explained to him that he can not treat even a dog this way, nevermind his wife. I told him that this behaviour was not appropriate for his age, status and education and it is something that he has to stop, because it embarasses HIM. For the first time I noticed that I almost brought him to tears and he could not argue. This happened a few weeks ago. Since then, I see a positive change in our relationship. He had significantly (by about 95%) reduced his misbehaviour, which was to constantly criticize me and particularly parts of my body and my body as a whole.
I also thought about everything and realized that I am the only person who has to take care of myself, mentally and physically. Noone can run for you and noone can meditate for you or reduce your fears. I feel more self-responsible and most of the time full of energy for knowing that my life is in my own hands. I also try to remember that despite my best efforts, some things are out of my power to change. I am trying to keep up the positive attitude and work on the things that I can change to live healthier. I am proud of myself that I am able to find some strenght to overcome adversities. We are all capable of being strong, I know that, I see it every day in other people.
By the way, I finally gathered the courage to confront my husband's critisizing behaviour. I stated exactly what Peter wrote here, that noone has the right to claim another human being for themselves. Then I pointed out the abusive traits of his criticism and I explained to him that he can not treat even a dog this way, nevermind his wife. I told him that this behaviour was not appropriate for his age, status and education and it is something that he has to stop, because it embarasses HIM. For the first time I noticed that I almost brought him to tears and he could not argue. This happened a few weeks ago. Since then, I see a positive change in our relationship. He had significantly (by about 95%) reduced his misbehaviour, which was to constantly criticize me and particularly parts of my body and my body as a whole.
I also thought about everything and realized that I am the only person who has to take care of myself, mentally and physically. Noone can run for you and noone can meditate for you or reduce your fears. I feel more self-responsible and most of the time full of energy for knowing that my life is in my own hands. I also try to remember that despite my best efforts, some things are out of my power to change. I am trying to keep up the positive attitude and work on the things that I can change to live healthier. I am proud of myself that I am able to find some strenght to overcome adversities. We are all capable of being strong, I know that, I see it every day in other people.
