The Inner child and children

[Thelostchild]

I have heard that as a young child the first person a child falls in love with is the father. in a good way. is that true and what would it be like if I did. Or If you could explain that to me. Also I have a question on the Inner child. Is it because I or we grew up so fast that we forgot how to be child or a teen and now that we are all grown up I or we experiance things that childern or teens do growing up. Like me I never had a faze growing up and now Im exploring everything. that a teen would do. Some things that is. I hope that makes since? Thanks for reading

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I don't know about the "falling in love with your father part" - I think that is Freudian concept and many people have disagreed with some of his views about personality development, etc.

As for the "inner child", I think the concept probably means different things to different people. In a sense, though, I think we do all keep a part of the child version of ourselves with us, the part that wishes to be carefree and have someone to take care of us, make everything right, reassure us, love us unconditionally, etc. That's not necesssarily unusual or abnormal or unhealthy.

People who suffer abuse or other traumatic experiences in childhood also often show another type of "inner child" - when a memory of the abuse or trauma is triggered, the individual is emotionally returned to the psychological age at which the trauma occurred, so that the emotional reactions to the memory are often feelings of helplessness and powerlessness, consistent with how the child felt at the time of the original experience. Part of what happens in therapy with such individuals is they learn to react to the memories as an adult who isn't powerless or helpless any longer.

 

[Peanut]

OK you guys have really sparked my curiosity...I thought that the Freudian concept was that boys fell in love with their mothers and wanted to kill their fathers. I thought this the "Oedipus Complex". I also just happened to read that play Oedipus Rex about a week ago so it is fresh in my mind! Anyway, isn't the Oedipus Complex based on that play?

Is there is another concept about falling in love with your father too?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

You're correct about the nature and origin of Freud's concept of the "Oedipus Complex", Toeless. At one point, he suggested a similar concept for girls which he called the "Electra Complex", although he never developed that as fully and was never as clear about it (partly because Freud admitted several times that personally he didn't understand women).

But many people didn't and don't consider themselves to be freudians and don'[t accept or agree with his views, especially when it comes to "psychosexual development" and how Freud believed it affected personality. The concept of the Inner Child is not a Freudian concept - it's both broader and narrower than the things Freud talked about, depending on how it's used and in what concept.

There is an excerpt from a book here that talks about how the concept might be applied to a childhood abuse survivor: http://www.psychlinks.ca/pages/child-within.htm.

 

[Peanut]

At one point, he suggested a similar concept for girls which he called the "Electra Complex"

Oh yes, now I do vaguely remember hearing about that!

although he never developed that as fully and was never as clear about it (partly because Freud admitted several times that personally he didn't understand women).

That is so interesting and funny! I don't remember ever hearing that Freud admitted that he didn't understand women before!

Very interesting information, thanks for answering.

 

[just mary]

Hi,

although he never developed that as fully and was never as clear about it (partly because Freud admitted several times that personally he didn't understand women).

I think I've heard that before. Freud was an interesting guy, I also heard he used to faint whenever he got close to a cemetary. I know that many Freudian theories have fallen by the wayside but I think he was special in the sense that he was one of the first people to develop a theory of personality.

As for your inner child TLC, I'm not sure. I think Dr. Baxter gave a pretty good explanation though.

Take care,