braveheart
Member
We were talking today in therapy about where I'm at, and the pain of that.
I'm rather in an inbetween transitional state
- I am no longer currently severely depressed, with the lack of functioning and total withdrawal that entails, and the degree of need for care when one is so ill.
- But I am not yet in the state where I am sociable, bright, bubbly. There are 'windows' of it, but then everything shuts down again. Then the 'sun comes out' for a while, and so the process repeats itself over and over... but this means I am ... not noticeable, and am easily overlooked. I can't make myself be 'Miss Sociable', it doesn't work like that.
But this leaves me feeling... discarded.
I've always been shy and a hard worker, efficient, but quiet, apart from surges of interaction. I'm hungry for interaction, really.
The bright and bubbly agency staff who's just there for a few weeks to help us deal with backlog who's praised and valued by my manager. And I... get left with the itty bitty jobs. And not praised.
It's hard being in the inbetween place, without it fuelling childhood rooted resentments at being 'invisible'. I'm working through it, but it's hard. I know there's no other way but through. But any tips for living with it would be welcome....
I'm rather in an inbetween transitional state
- I am no longer currently severely depressed, with the lack of functioning and total withdrawal that entails, and the degree of need for care when one is so ill.
- But I am not yet in the state where I am sociable, bright, bubbly. There are 'windows' of it, but then everything shuts down again. Then the 'sun comes out' for a while, and so the process repeats itself over and over... but this means I am ... not noticeable, and am easily overlooked. I can't make myself be 'Miss Sociable', it doesn't work like that.
But this leaves me feeling... discarded.
I've always been shy and a hard worker, efficient, but quiet, apart from surges of interaction. I'm hungry for interaction, really.
The bright and bubbly agency staff who's just there for a few weeks to help us deal with backlog who's praised and valued by my manager. And I... get left with the itty bitty jobs. And not praised.
It's hard being in the inbetween place, without it fuelling childhood rooted resentments at being 'invisible'. I'm working through it, but it's hard. I know there's no other way but through. But any tips for living with it would be welcome....