The Social Anxiety Rule Book
by Robert L. Leahy, PhD
Let's write out your Social Anxiety Rule Book--the rules that you follow that will guarantee that you will feel shy, self-conscious, and want to avoid any interactions with other people. So, follow these rules and you will be as anxious as you can be:
Before you interact with people:
1. Think about all the ways you can look foolish and anxious.
2. Rehearse in your mind how anxious you will feel.
3. Try to prepare all kinds of safety behaviors to hide your anxiety.
4. If possible, come up with an excuse to avoid people.
When you are around other people:
1. Assume that people can see every anxious feeling and thought that you have.
2. Focus your attention on how anxious you feel.
3. Try to hide your anxious feelings.
After you interact with people:
1. Review how awful it felt.
2. Assume that people are now talking about how awkward you looked.
3. Focus on any signs of imperfection in how you appeared.
4. Criticize yourself for being less than perfect.
Excerpted from Anxiety Free: Unravel Your Fears Before They Unravel You.
Robert L. Leahy, Ph.D., is recognized worldwide as one of the most respected writers and speakers on cognitive therapy. His Psychology Today blog is Anxiety Files.
by Robert L. Leahy, PhD
Let's write out your Social Anxiety Rule Book--the rules that you follow that will guarantee that you will feel shy, self-conscious, and want to avoid any interactions with other people. So, follow these rules and you will be as anxious as you can be:
Before you interact with people:
1. Think about all the ways you can look foolish and anxious.
2. Rehearse in your mind how anxious you will feel.
3. Try to prepare all kinds of safety behaviors to hide your anxiety.
4. If possible, come up with an excuse to avoid people.
When you are around other people:
1. Assume that people can see every anxious feeling and thought that you have.
2. Focus your attention on how anxious you feel.
3. Try to hide your anxious feelings.
After you interact with people:
1. Review how awful it felt.
2. Assume that people are now talking about how awkward you looked.
3. Focus on any signs of imperfection in how you appeared.
4. Criticize yourself for being less than perfect.
Excerpted from Anxiety Free: Unravel Your Fears Before They Unravel You.
Robert L. Leahy, Ph.D., is recognized worldwide as one of the most respected writers and speakers on cognitive therapy. His Psychology Today blog is Anxiety Files.
