Therapist Cancellations

[poss]

Hi All,

Hope everyone is doing okay.

Is it just me or does everyone feel a sense of absolute rage when your therapist cancels your appointment at the last minute??

I know it's unreasonable of me to be angry because my therapist is ill but after having already missed a week due to a bank holiday, I had been waiting for this appointment for 2 weeks and have been going through a really bad period, which my therapist was aware of. I was so utterly disappointed for her to cancel just an hour and a half before my appointment. It just feels so cold and formal to get a brief message from the receptionist cancelling on her behalf and making it sound like it's not a big deal. It is a big deal to me, it really is. I wish my therapist could just call me herself and then I'm sure I wouldn't have a problem with it but it just makes me feel like she doesn't care for her to cancel at a crucial time for me with just a message from a receptionist.

I'm sure I'm being irrational and unreasonable but I'm Borderline and these things affect me really deeply. I'm going to really struggle to get through another week now, with no guarantee that my therapist won't still be ill. I'm also thinking, what if it's serious and she doesn't come back? Then what am I going to do?? It sounds very selfish of me to feel like this when she is ill but I can't help it. She's really important to me and so is this therapy.

Can anyone relate to the anger/frustration at a cancellation?

Thanks and take care,

Poss

 

[Lana]

Hi Poss;

I can understand that frustration that you're experiencing. I can't say I have had such reactions though. My therapist often goes away during winter anywhere from 3 to 6 months. During that time, she makes arrangements with another therapist that I have an option of seeing if I need to.

I think your feelings are valid, though. I'd call the receptionist and tell her how you feel, that you're upset and would like to have the first available appointment. I'd also discuss this with the therapist and let her know that this doesn't work for you, but be prepared to tell her what does work.

And finally, sometimes, things do happen that are beyond our control and we have no choice but to roll with it. It's ok to feel angry, but don't let it consume you as it will only escalate the problems and get in the way of the things you wanted to talk to her about. Or, call and ask who else is available for you to see.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Also remember that the message is being delivered by the receptionist because your therapist is ill. You have a therapeutic alliance with your therapist but that's not the case with the receptionist - she is simply doing her job and you are just another phone call to her. And the reason the receptionist is calling and not your therapist is because the therapist is ill - one call to his/her receptionist may be all she can really manage because otherwise it wouldn't be just about calling you but also calling all other patients scheduled for that day.

 

[lallieth]

I can understand the frustration of looking forward to an event and having it cancelled at the last minute,but I guess you have to bear in mind that the therapist cancelled,not because of you,but because she is ill.Perhaps we think too much that our therapists are demi-gods that are not allowed to get sick or take time off because WE need them,but in reality that isn't so.

I would much rather have a healthy cognitive therapist,then one that keeps appointments even during illness and can't offer any decent help or insight because they are too busy blowing their nose

 

[poss]

Hi All,

Thanks Lana for your suggestions. Unfortunately my therapist only works one day a week at the hospital so I can't see her any other day. I have asked her to reschedule in the past when one of us has had to cancel and she doesn't do that and they don't offer you to see anyone else instead. But I now feel like I was really over reacting to missing just one appointment, especially since you said you don't see your therapist for months at a time. I guess I'm just concerned because there is a time limit to my therapy and I'm supposed to finish in November. She said maybe we can extend it but it's not certain yet. I don't feel like that will be anywhere near enough time and so I guess I'm panicking.

Thanks David for pointing out about therapists not being able to call every one of their patients. I hadn't really thought of that but it makes good sense.

And thanks also lallieth for your comments. You're right about wanting a therapist to be able to work 100% when you see them.

Poss

 

[Jesse910]

Poss:

You are not overreacting. Given that your therapist is only in the office once a week, my hope is that she would provide you with other options in case of an emergency (i.e. ability to contact her and leave her a voicemail message, an on-call number to call a center, etc.) While I have not experienced your scenario, my current therapist and past therapists have been gracious enough to provide me with options during their absences (vacation and illness) and that has enabled me to get through a rough patch. I don't know what outside assistance is available in your area, but here in the U.S. there are crisis centers that can be utilized in each state. You may want to be more proactive with regards to your own care. This will give you a measure of control. Additionally, you may want to discuss with your therapist when you are able to see her again how best to deal when she is not available.

Take care.