forgetmenot
MVP
Why is it when i hit that room i feel like im not quite me does anyone else feel that way
- Thread starter forgetmenot
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Exactly what do you mean? How do you feel when you're there?
I have been going about 15 minutes early the past few weeks so that I have time to kind of ground myself ahead of time,so that I don't feel so spacey while I'm in there.
Do you mean you feel kind of spacey in there, and it seems unreal, dream like?
Or am I way off base and you mean you don't feel like you'rs showing your true self in there, and like you're holding back?
I have been going about 15 minutes early the past few weeks so that I have time to kind of ground myself ahead of time,so that I don't feel so spacey while I'm in there.
Do you mean you feel kind of spacey in there, and it seems unreal, dream like?
Or am I way off base and you mean you don't feel like you'rs showing your true self in there, and like you're holding back?
forgetmenot
MVP
I feel like i am weak not in control i don't cry but there i cry tears just come that is not me.
i look around get grounded to where i am to
Maybe because T talks about things like my thoughts when i don't talk about them in real life
i keep things inside but there somehow the thoughts are released It is like a different voice wants to be heard there and it is all i can do to keep that voice quiet because i know who i am
Noone wants to hear it anyways i learned that along time ago One has to be in control one has to be yet there i show weakenss
T must be getting so tired of those dam tears but i do get control of me somehow i always get control
i look around get grounded to where i am to
Maybe because T talks about things like my thoughts when i don't talk about them in real life
i keep things inside but there somehow the thoughts are released It is like a different voice wants to be heard there and it is all i can do to keep that voice quiet because i know who i am
Noone wants to hear it anyways i learned that along time ago One has to be in control one has to be yet there i show weakenss
T must be getting so tired of those dam tears but i do get control of me somehow i always get control
It's not weakness it's emotional honesty
Okay maybe not honest about how you are feeling right then but honest about how you feel about things in your past...
I understand why you feel weak at this point because we are very vulnerable at that point and if you are anything like me I was taught that crying was weakness and I taught myself also it was weakness...
Crying got me hit more, mocked etc
So our natural inclination from then on is to seem impervious and part of this is our emotions, you can't hurt me... I can do things for myself etc
The fact you are feeling like that in therapy is a good thing you are managing to tap into it...using therapy effectively is a skill in it's self and takes you a while to work out what it is you need to work on most...
Maybe this is an area for you?
I still will not show emotion to most people when I am particularly hurt or upset which I am at the moment (a lot) because of how ill my son is, but I can now with those closest to me that I trust let them know how I am feeling and recently for the first time admitted to my partner I was scared, a conversation I have never had with anyone not even my therapist.
The point I am trying to make is to reach that level of emotional honesty with both yourself and your therapist and then deal with what it dredges up from the deep is not easy and that is exactly what the therapist is for.
My mind tends to wander and I become dissociated for a time after a particularly an emotional session, like an out of body experience, which again is the mind just saying to you, enough lets take it down a gear, I learned to deal with that to and recognize it for what it was.
Therapy is never easy and it sounds to me like your doing really well, I have said else where in the forum I used to almost bodily drag myself to therapy my mind did not want me to go there and I struggled the entire time, put it this way I never hopped and skipped my way there, and did on days when feeling vulnerable anticipate how I may become emotionally within the session before I had even sat down.
What your feeling from my experience is typical of therapy that is working and helping you to untangle yourself.
Okay maybe not honest about how you are feeling right then but honest about how you feel about things in your past...
I understand why you feel weak at this point because we are very vulnerable at that point and if you are anything like me I was taught that crying was weakness and I taught myself also it was weakness...
Crying got me hit more, mocked etc
So our natural inclination from then on is to seem impervious and part of this is our emotions, you can't hurt me... I can do things for myself etc
The fact you are feeling like that in therapy is a good thing you are managing to tap into it...using therapy effectively is a skill in it's self and takes you a while to work out what it is you need to work on most...
Maybe this is an area for you?
I still will not show emotion to most people when I am particularly hurt or upset which I am at the moment (a lot) because of how ill my son is, but I can now with those closest to me that I trust let them know how I am feeling and recently for the first time admitted to my partner I was scared, a conversation I have never had with anyone not even my therapist.
The point I am trying to make is to reach that level of emotional honesty with both yourself and your therapist and then deal with what it dredges up from the deep is not easy and that is exactly what the therapist is for.
My mind tends to wander and I become dissociated for a time after a particularly an emotional session, like an out of body experience, which again is the mind just saying to you, enough lets take it down a gear, I learned to deal with that to and recognize it for what it was.
Therapy is never easy and it sounds to me like your doing really well, I have said else where in the forum I used to almost bodily drag myself to therapy my mind did not want me to go there and I struggled the entire time, put it this way I never hopped and skipped my way there, and did on days when feeling vulnerable anticipate how I may become emotionally within the session before I had even sat down.
What your feeling from my experience is typical of therapy that is working and helping you to untangle yourself.
forgetmenot
MVP
Yes sometimes tears come for no reason though and yes i too when i get home feel disconnect a bit like a repeat happens of therapy so i try to get the thoughts out by writing them down by having a conversation with my brain Sounds crazy but it helps to unwind me some.
I always get to therapy early sit in my vehicle sometimes for half hour then go in 5 min to the hour.
Yes therapist can certainly tap into my emotions it seems with just few words even if i try very hard not to show what im feeling i cn't stop those emotions there. Perhaps it is because i feel i can let my guard down a bit there i don't know
We are working on changing self talk being more positive thoughts trying to get me to look at what i will do when all this happens happens
one line hits me you can't hurt me... I can do things for myself etc that is so true keep saying no one can hurt me again and yes i do do things for myself I trust my therapist it is me i don't trust at times how much guard i have let down while there sometimes it scares me
I hope you son hun is getting stronger and your fear for him will be alleviated when he starts to get feeling better I am glad you are opening up to your partner and hope the doctors keep an open conversation with you Hugs to you hun sending prayers for your son to heal hugs
I always get to therapy early sit in my vehicle sometimes for half hour then go in 5 min to the hour.
Yes therapist can certainly tap into my emotions it seems with just few words even if i try very hard not to show what im feeling i cn't stop those emotions there. Perhaps it is because i feel i can let my guard down a bit there i don't know
We are working on changing self talk being more positive thoughts trying to get me to look at what i will do when all this happens happens
one line hits me you can't hurt me... I can do things for myself etc that is so true keep saying no one can hurt me again and yes i do do things for myself I trust my therapist it is me i don't trust at times how much guard i have let down while there sometimes it scares me
I hope you son hun is getting stronger and your fear for him will be alleviated when he starts to get feeling better I am glad you are opening up to your partner and hope the doctors keep an open conversation with you Hugs to you hun sending prayers for your son to heal hugs
My therapist says it's progress when I show emotions during a session. It has taken almost 3 years to even be able to really. I thought it showed weakness too. And I fought to hold it all back and hold it in.
My last session was a hard one.I cried on and off the entire time.I said things that I didn't intend on saying.I told things I have never told anyone else. And it was like I had no control in the matter,they just came out of my mouth,and the tears flowed as I was talking and it was like I had no control over them either.
I spent the rest of the day crying afterwards. But I felt so much better the next day,like I had been purged of toxins that were inside of me.
I don't think showing emotion is a sign of weakness anymore.I think that's how we heal.I didn't realize that until I experienced it first hand though.
You,like me,have probably always tried so hard to stay in control of yourself and your emotions,so doing something we're not used to doing is really,really hard.But,I think it's what we need to do in order to get to the root of things. My hardest sessions are when I don't have every word pre-planned ahead of time and when I'm not so rigid and tense and strict and just allow myself to think out loud. That's when I feel the most and learn the most.
My last session was a hard one.I cried on and off the entire time.I said things that I didn't intend on saying.I told things I have never told anyone else. And it was like I had no control in the matter,they just came out of my mouth,and the tears flowed as I was talking and it was like I had no control over them either.
I spent the rest of the day crying afterwards. But I felt so much better the next day,like I had been purged of toxins that were inside of me.
I don't think showing emotion is a sign of weakness anymore.I think that's how we heal.I didn't realize that until I experienced it first hand though.
You,like me,have probably always tried so hard to stay in control of yourself and your emotions,so doing something we're not used to doing is really,really hard.But,I think it's what we need to do in order to get to the root of things. My hardest sessions are when I don't have every word pre-planned ahead of time and when I'm not so rigid and tense and strict and just allow myself to think out loud. That's when I feel the most and learn the most.
forgetmenot
MVP
Thanks LIT i can relate to what you are saying just wish i did not feel like i am having to fight to stay me sort of in control i cannot explain it i guess thanks for all your responses
forgetmenot
MVP
It feels like this other voice wants to be heard i feel like i have to keep me me I have been told i dissociate i don't know if it is true or not i just know i feel like i am trying to keep a voice quiet
forgetmenot
MVP
No hun i let that voice be heard and each time i was thrown away noone wants to hear that voice If i can i will try to let the emotions come in therapy only as i know my therapist will not judge me but i wonder what he thinks when dam tears come so easily never use to come so easily
forgetmenot
MVP
I bet your right hun he would rather me release the sadness then hold it in
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