Thinking again (triggering)

[Cin]

Im trying to keep busy and stay occupied, but im now finding my day consists of constantly thinking of suicide methods, no matter what im doing. Sometimes i feel i cant touch anything because it leads me into thinking too much about the object. I feel i can't calm down a lot of the time and now im seeing myself go back to self harming....Im trying to stay calm and let the intensity pass but its feeling overwhelming..

 

[Eunoia]

sorry things are going downhill for you.... did you tell your therapist? it really sounds like you're trying to cope but you can't help but think of suicide all the time, right? do you think it's the stress piling up from trying to deal w/ your mom and having moved out? I really think talking to someone about all of this would help at least get a load off your shoulders... w/ your mom, wanting to si, thinking of suicide, other things.... is there someone you can talk to? you said you're trying to stay busy- what are you trying to do instead of si? I know si isn't a new thing but are there any coping mechanisms you have used in the past that you could use again? or any distractions for now? there's a good thread on that actually. I think that as good as keeping busy is, and serves its own purpose, there's only so much 'staying busy' you can do until you're left to face w/ what you're trying to deal with or run away from- coming back to my initial suggestion of talking to someone about this....

do breathing exercies work for you at all? relaxation techniques? you mentioned trying to stay calmn..... I know they won't fix the problem or feeling down but they'll help get you through the intense urges and maybe give you a break from the mental images, thoughts, etc... I really wish I had better suggestions, I know others will, but just know you're not alone in this Cin. suicide isn't your answer to everything that has gone wrong or is going wrong, in fact why should you take all of the burden and guilt onto your shoulders? wanting an escape from all the pain is not the same as ending one's life... it's just really difficult feeling so overwhelmed w/ everything, right?

 

[Daniel E.]

With my suicidal ideations, they seem to be more bothersome when triggered by so-called negative events. Suicidal ideations that come out-of-the-blue don't bother me as much, mostly because there are no triggering stressors at that point.

Of course, trying to interpret events more positively is challenging but helpful for undoing depression:

When you are sad, your brain has greater access to sad thoughts and memories, and you are more likely to interpret circumstances in a sad way...In short, when sadness is amplified instead of managed, it can take you down paths to hopelessness, self-hate, and immobility.

- Women Who Think Too Much: How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life (a book which also seems to apply to male depression)

Usually, what's easiest for me when I am most depressed is just viewing everything bad as temporary and fleeting.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

..

Do you have a therapist have you spoken to somebdoy about the thoughts you should not stay alone in this by keeping busy all the time will only cause the thoughts to get lowder once oyu have calmed down and have nothing to do or even worst you will work yourself to a point were youi will be even more tiered and down , you have to talk about the stuff that nothers you and get through it before it gets too serious
yours trully
ashley-kate