Transactional Analysis and Reparenting Therapy

[Cat Dancer]

I'm sorry it didn't work out too. It sounds like it wasn't on the up and up though so it's probably for the best as you have concluded.

So, the search continues on how to move forward and heal this part of me that desperately needs to be healed but can't seem to find a way.

This just makes my heart ache for you. I hope you can find a way to be healed too. I hope that for you so much. Hang in there.

 

[ladylore]

Use your instincts on this one BG. If your gut is saying leave then leave. There are plenty of better qualified therapists out there. I know it may be a pain in the butt to find another but you deserve to have some qualified to help you.

 

[Banned]

I am actually despondent over this. My adult me knows this is just whacked and not to go any further with it. My "little girl" is so desperate to get this fixed she is willing to do anything - no matter how whacked, dangerous, controversial, etc. I have to keep my adult head on and in charge to make the right decision, but it's hard. I've been agonizing all day over whether I made the right decision or not. My adult knows I did, but little kid is having a major panic attack and temper tantrum.

I'll probably talk to my therapist tonight after she reads my email to her, which basically says what my last few posts here have said.

 

[braveheart]

I can understand.

The bottom line is that, yes therapy can help heal and understand those deep childhood wounds, but a therapist can never ever be the ideal mother we never had. It's too late, and it's a whole different situation.

I know not everyone agrees with me, but long term analytic focused psychotherapy with a strong object relations bias can be immensely powerful.

 

[Banned]

I think I might have found a solution, but I won't know more til next week. I'm hopeful again though...

 

[Cat Dancer]

I hope so, BG. Glad you're hopeful again. :hug:

 

[Into The Light]

you stopped with this person for all the right reasons bg. i am glad you trusted yourself on that. good news on having a possible other solution :goodjob:

 

[Banned]

I thought I'd post a quick update on what's happening with this. I was really torn over whether or not I should, but I'm going to take a chance and go ahead.

I decided to work with this person after all, but under very different conditions. It comes out of absolute sheer desperation, years of looking for the answer and not being able to find it anywhere else.

I'm only working with her for 6-12 sessions (although that's the plan, it could change) and she is not doing any actual counselling. That will stay with my regular therapist. I'm not calling her "mom", or phoning her at home or after hours, or anything like that. I get the final say in anything we do or don't do (which was never an issue but...) and we are not using any TA.

I've had two sessions since I last posted and they've gone really, really well. I do find that already they are helping immensely and I look forward to the next one each week. We've been talking the week ahead about what we are doing the next week, so so far there haven't been any surprises. My regular therapist is keeping a very close eye on me to make sure I don't get messed up, and I send her email updates after each session, within about 12 hours, telling her what we did and how I felt, etc.

This is about the best solution I can find. Doing nothing is not an option, and we know that traditional therapy does not work for me. I'm being closely supervised by my Psychologist, so I know I'm in good hands either way. I love what we are doing and I think it will be immensely helpful in the short and long run. I already see changes...

 

[Halo]

BG,

That is great that you decided to take a chance on this therapy although on your terms. It is good that you set boundaries right off the bat of what you will and won't do and sound like you are staying very firm on that.

I am sure that it is also helpful to have your regular therapist keeping a close on what you are doing and how things are going, I think that it is very important.

I wish you good luck in this journal and hope that it continues to help you as it already has :goodluck: I look forward to your continued updates.

Take care
:hug: :hug:

 

[ladylore]

Conventional therapy doesn't really work for me either. So I think I understand where you are coming from.

I say as long as there are boundaries, supervision and that you feel safe is all anyone can ask. It sounds like all three are present. So if it works, go for it.

 

[sister-ray]

oh wow thats great that you changed your mind and you feel its already having positive affects thats bril Im happy for you coventional therapy doesnt work for me either really the only times I have been well is when I have seen alternative therapists but unfortunately now days they are so expensive here they are totally out of my reach. good luck

 

[Into The Light]

i am really glad your regular therapist is keeping an eye on things and is keeping you safe that way. your safety is very important. it sounds like you have made your position very clear with the new person.

be safe.

 

[gooblax]

Glad to hear you've found something that seems helpful for you, and that you're ensuring your safety at the same time. Best of luck.

 

[shatteredspirit]

I haven't been here, posting at least, in a long time. I was googling this reparenting thing and came across your post.

I have been working with a therapist, with this type of therapy, for 4 years and am curious to how it is working for you now. I understand your questions about it, I could not find anything, at least anything recent, on this type of therapy. I found the All My Children book, but have also found a lot of negative things about it.

It is very confusing and I also have the same feelings you mentioned. I need to find things written, something I can read about what we are doing, so I guess I'm "one of those people" too! LOL

My T has been "nurturing me", he will hold me and cuddle, but he has never mentioned the feeding, and I would not go along with that either. He has been very fatherly, never out of line with the touch, very caring and comforting. My little self loves it, but I, at times, feel like an idiot, at least in my mind I do, but inside, I do like it and feel cared for.

Turtle, how are you doing with it?? I hope it is still going well.

 

[Banned]

Sorry Shatteredspirit,

I totally missed your post or I would have replied alot sooner.

Anyway, after our initial session, I had three more, and then I had to call it quits. Technically by choice, but not by choice. That doesn't make sense...but something came up for me during a session, and I felt the need to work through it with my regular T before returning. Lo and behold enough other stuff has come up that we haven't gotten around to that one issue, so it's been in limbo for a few months.

I won't lie - I miss it SO much. I wasn't particularly fond of the person I was doing it with, but I LOVED the sessions and what we were doing. I've been looking to find someone else who does it in my city, and have come up dry, which is really unfortunate.

Every now and then I"m tempted to go back...especially now while I'm depressed and not in a good place, and craving it so badly, but I know the therapist wasn't a good fit for me, so I haven't...but I'd almost give my right arm to find someone who could do this work with me, who is a better match.