forgetmenot
MVP
Is it so wrong to just want the truth why must there be hidden agendas why must anything be hidden from client why.
- Thread starter forgetmenot
- Start date
Presumably you're talking about a concern with your therapist, correct?
What would be the motivation for having a hidden agenda? To me, a hidden agenda implies deception.
Could it be that in order to keep from overwhelming you, your therapist is intentionally withholding information until there is a more appropriate time when you can better deal with it?
In the end, I think, the only way to resolve your concern is to put your concerns on the table and ask for an explanation.
forgetmenot
MVP
I have talked to my therapist about my concerns but anger and pain were there when i talked to him and i am afraid i have upset him but god i am not that naive stupid person anymore dam it
Therapist does not realise i see far more and i understand far more then he will ever know. I have told him i know some things but he denies it so i cannot push the matter and i have to just let it go doesn't take the immense sadness pain or anger away though but that is life one has to deal with things or let it eat you up inside.
Hard so hard because i really do not know what to do and i do not know how i will approach therapist next time i go which is in 3 days
I don't want to let the pain show everyone lies to me i jst want the truth that all i wont be upset with whatever happened i jst want truth ok that all.
Therapist does not realise i see far more and i understand far more then he will ever know. I have told him i know some things but he denies it so i cannot push the matter and i have to just let it go doesn't take the immense sadness pain or anger away though but that is life one has to deal with things or let it eat you up inside.
Hard so hard because i really do not know what to do and i do not know how i will approach therapist next time i go which is in 3 days
I don't want to let the pain show everyone lies to me i jst want the truth that all i wont be upset with whatever happened i jst want truth ok that all.
Harebells
Member
How has your relationship with your therapist been in general fmn? Have you been seeing him for a long time and have you found it helpful and have you felt you can trust him before this? Sorry this is happening - it's horrible to feel lied to...and nothing wrong with wanting the truth
forgetmenot
MVP
Been seeing my therapist for a long long time thought he understood me my wishes i do trust him that is why it hurts so much
Maybe just maybe triggers from past have clouded my judgement but someone told someone talked behaviors don't change that trastically without reason
I am not angry at therapist i am hurt so hurt just so hurt inside and his words to me i should know better like he was upset with me
It is so hard to trust and i have told therapist i will never ever fully trust anyone just safer that way but ithought i had a safe haven with my thoughts my words and as a professional i should have know better he is right i should have known better that behind scenes things are done yes to help client but trust trust trust sorry
I am just anxious now so anxious abt next visit i don't know if it is wise to even approach this topic anymore I am NOT paranoid i know what i hear and see but how do i let it all go now i just have too if i want to continue with therapy i have to let it all go right.
Maybe just maybe triggers from past have clouded my judgement but someone told someone talked behaviors don't change that trastically without reason
I am not angry at therapist i am hurt so hurt just so hurt inside and his words to me i should know better like he was upset with me
It is so hard to trust and i have told therapist i will never ever fully trust anyone just safer that way but ithought i had a safe haven with my thoughts my words and as a professional i should have know better he is right i should have known better that behind scenes things are done yes to help client but trust trust trust sorry
I am just anxious now so anxious abt next visit i don't know if it is wise to even approach this topic anymore I am NOT paranoid i know what i hear and see but how do i let it all go now i just have too if i want to continue with therapy i have to let it all go right.
amazingmouse
Account Closed
In-person therapy is very complex and I am afraid a lot of members here might not understand the situation as well as you and your therapist could.
I have seen a few different therapists before and while most are professional, it is like in any other profession, including the medical profession, that some people are able to help a particular client better than others, due to a number of factors. These factors could be personal (such as moral, values, spirituality, ethics, honesty), as well as purely professional (qualifications, approaches; professional ethics, transparency and so on); so it is lucky to find a good therapist, just as it is lucky to find a good Doctor in general.
On a personal note, I still struggle to find a good Family physician or NP. All I get is 1-2 minutes and they are not Gods to be able to help anyone in this time frame. My holistic health assessment is left to myself, or friends and relatives within the medical profession, who are more helpful. Good luck.
I am absolutely convinced now that only people who have genuine desire to help others are suited for working in health care.
I have seen a few different therapists before and while most are professional, it is like in any other profession, including the medical profession, that some people are able to help a particular client better than others, due to a number of factors. These factors could be personal (such as moral, values, spirituality, ethics, honesty), as well as purely professional (qualifications, approaches; professional ethics, transparency and so on); so it is lucky to find a good therapist, just as it is lucky to find a good Doctor in general.
On a personal note, I still struggle to find a good Family physician or NP. All I get is 1-2 minutes and they are not Gods to be able to help anyone in this time frame. My holistic health assessment is left to myself, or friends and relatives within the medical profession, who are more helpful. Good luck.
I am absolutely convinced now that only people who have genuine desire to help others are suited for working in health care.
I have wondered at times about questions like these too.
I often think about the question: is absolute total complete transparency at all times in 100% all situations, desirable and possible in all situations of leadership?
I haven't decided on the answer yet. I wish I could talk to a lot of successful and cool and good people from leadership roles, to ask this question and talk about it.....
I often think about the question: is absolute total complete transparency at all times in 100% all situations, desirable and possible in all situations of leadership?
I haven't decided on the answer yet. I wish I could talk to a lot of successful and cool and good people from leadership roles, to ask this question and talk about it.....
forgetmenot
MVP
I think if client wishes there to be 100 percent transparency at all times i think then that is what should happen i don't know but keeping things from a client only harms them in the end when they find out that things have been done without their knowledge just my thoughts thanks MHealthJo
amazingmouse
Account Closed
I think most psychologists follow standards and guidelines when it comes to disclosing information to their clients.
Nowadays, the client is considered a partner in health care, participating in a therapeutic relationship, where the provider's role is to guide the client by sharing knowledge. Clinical expertise creates a power imbalance and inequality in the client-provider relationship and often places the clinician in a position of power. The client is in a more vulnerable position, due to this imbalance. However, the client, their beliefs, values, needs and desires are the guiding force in this relationship and must be accommodated as much as possible. There might be situations, when it is not possible or in the best interest of the client to go solely by their wishes.
---------- Post Merged at 09:46 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 09:26 PM ----------
These are some common guidelines for most health professionals. The question you raised is an ethical question. These are approached based upon ethical principles, such as beneficence, non-maleficence (the first one being to do good and the second to do no harm to a client) and other principles that professionals use to guide their decisions.
Nowadays, the client is considered a partner in health care, participating in a therapeutic relationship, where the provider's role is to guide the client by sharing knowledge. Clinical expertise creates a power imbalance and inequality in the client-provider relationship and often places the clinician in a position of power. The client is in a more vulnerable position, due to this imbalance. However, the client, their beliefs, values, needs and desires are the guiding force in this relationship and must be accommodated as much as possible. There might be situations, when it is not possible or in the best interest of the client to go solely by their wishes.
---------- Post Merged at 09:46 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 09:26 PM ----------
These are some common guidelines for most health professionals. The question you raised is an ethical question. These are approached based upon ethical principles, such as beneficence, non-maleficence (the first one being to do good and the second to do no harm to a client) and other principles that professionals use to guide their decisions.
Maybe I'm just not understanding but what did your therapist do? And if he did something aggregious to you have you discussed this with him or her? Were you satisfied or not with the explanation ? How can the two of you come to a resolution?
forgetmenot
MVP
I have a meeting today with my therapist and yes if i have the strength i will discuss my reasons for getting so upset but i know his response will be
I am upset because i wanted all of it to stay in his office i did not want other people being brought into my pain ok
i did not want other people to know anything family, other professionals i wanted a place to just let my thoughts go without having people judge me.
People do judge ok people do and the last incident hurt most all those people staring at me but yes i will talk to therapist like i said i did not mean to show anger ok it was pure pain so much pain dam nothing should be done behind the scene without client knowing nothing even though i do understand why sometimes it is necessary the client should always be kept in the link should always know what is happening not find out later from sllip up from people telling them anyways sorry i hope meeting with therapist goes well i will apologise for my anger
---------- Post Merged at 07:24 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 07:05 AM ----------
My therapist has done nothing professional wrong i just wanted it all to stay between him and me stay in that room and yes i should know better yes because i should have known that is impossible to do sometimes and iwill apologise for being so dam naive to think it could
I am upset because i wanted all of it to stay in his office i did not want other people being brought into my pain ok
i did not want other people to know anything family, other professionals i wanted a place to just let my thoughts go without having people judge me.
People do judge ok people do and the last incident hurt most all those people staring at me but yes i will talk to therapist like i said i did not mean to show anger ok it was pure pain so much pain dam nothing should be done behind the scene without client knowing nothing even though i do understand why sometimes it is necessary the client should always be kept in the link should always know what is happening not find out later from sllip up from people telling them anyways sorry i hope meeting with therapist goes well i will apologise for my anger
---------- Post Merged at 07:24 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 07:05 AM ----------
My therapist has done nothing professional wrong i just wanted it all to stay between him and me stay in that room and yes i should know better yes because i should have known that is impossible to do sometimes and iwill apologise for being so dam naive to think it could
amazingmouse
Account Closed
I think I missed things too, sorry for the long theoretical response earlier; I find often people are very confused as to how health professionals are required or supposed to operate.
If it is a breach of your privacy and confidentiality done intentionally, if there was no threat to yourself or others, then, it would be unacceptable by all means. Sometimes other things happen that cause information to be compromised. I remember when I was seeing a psychologist for assessment and therapy. he once called my home number in the morning and told my husband that the appointment was cancelled due to him having the flu. This was terrible, as I did not want my husband to know I was seeing a psychologist, well, he was informed that I was seeing a therapist by me before, but at this particular time I did not want this to be known by him. I did forgive the incident, only because the therapist was sick, but I thought it was a terrible thing to happen. What if my daughter, who sounds almost like an adult on the phone happened to pick up? Or, someone who was just in the house. Things happen at times.
It could be discouraging to the client to find out that the whole therapy thing just doesn't work for them. If I have to go to appointments with psychologists or other therapists ever again, I would be extremely careful and ask a lot of questions in advance. Like whether they would disclose to people within my family circle that I receive such services if there is no apparent need to do so (nobody was in danger, including me).
If it is a breach of your privacy and confidentiality done intentionally, if there was no threat to yourself or others, then, it would be unacceptable by all means. Sometimes other things happen that cause information to be compromised. I remember when I was seeing a psychologist for assessment and therapy. he once called my home number in the morning and told my husband that the appointment was cancelled due to him having the flu. This was terrible, as I did not want my husband to know I was seeing a psychologist, well, he was informed that I was seeing a therapist by me before, but at this particular time I did not want this to be known by him. I did forgive the incident, only because the therapist was sick, but I thought it was a terrible thing to happen. What if my daughter, who sounds almost like an adult on the phone happened to pick up? Or, someone who was just in the house. Things happen at times.
It could be discouraging to the client to find out that the whole therapy thing just doesn't work for them. If I have to go to appointments with psychologists or other therapists ever again, I would be extremely careful and ask a lot of questions in advance. Like whether they would disclose to people within my family circle that I receive such services if there is no apparent need to do so (nobody was in danger, including me).
Harebells
Member
Hope it goes okay with your therapist today and you can resolve this or at least get to explain how much it's distressing you and be heard. I understand, that must be horrible to feel your privacy has been violated in the space where it should be safe to talk about the things you need to and perhaps can't talk to anyone else about.
forgetmenot
MVP
Talked to therapist apologised for getting angry t not angry with me no more i don't want to talk about now because i have to believe him or else this therapy relationship won't work . I did beleieve he was talking to my family and other professionals but he say NO so i have to beleive him so hard so hard tired so tired of living but ihave to focus on this saturday get to spend time with my grandchildren will focus on that now and try to let go of the pain now wish i could explain the pain i felt then but it is over now i have to trust i just have to trust
So are you really truly sure he did something like that FMN, and if he did, for what reason would he be doing so?
forgetmenot
MVP
He would do it to help his clients i understand that not to harm them
However if he said that he did not, do you believe him? Why would you think that he discussed you and your case with your family?
Fmn,it was always stressed to me that the only time my therapist would involve anyone else was if I was actually planning on killing myself(not just talking about suicidal feelings) or if I had plans to harm someone and that anything else would be kept between us.It was something he stressed often and tried to make me feel safe in there,and to help me trust him.
I am not sure exactly what it is you are talking about here,whether you were having suicidal thoughts and feelings and thought maybe your T contacted family members or if it was something different altogether.But I do understand how hard it is to trust,completely trust.There were quite a few times I thought my therapist had contacted outside people,times I accused him of it,times I didnt really believe him when he told me he hadn't.There were even times I was afraid to talk at all because I thought(imagined)he was recording me and going to the police after sessions.
In hindsight though,I know it all stemmed from my own insecurities and fears,and my own irrational thoughts.I just assumed I would be betrayed,just like I had been so many times in the past.If you have been with this t for a long time then I think maybe it's okay to trust what you're being told,and believe that if it should happen,and others are brought into it,it would be to help you,not harm you.That's easy for me to say now,but while I was in therapy,I went through what you are so many times,it was so hard to allow myself to be vulnerable in there without expecting repercussions.Some of the things that happened after sessions proved to me he was indeed talking to family members,police,other people,but in actuality they were just coincidences.
Also,I dont think it's necessary to apologize for getting angry,isn't that just a natural reaction when someone feels they have been betrayed?I hope you can work through all this and begin to trust your t again.Sometimes it took a long time for me to start trusting mine again,I always felt like I had to test him afterwards(I wonder if he knew that's what I was doing?) in order to feel I could trust him,which threw therapy off in different directions,sometimes for long periods of time that could have been used to work on real issues.
I am not sure exactly what it is you are talking about here,whether you were having suicidal thoughts and feelings and thought maybe your T contacted family members or if it was something different altogether.But I do understand how hard it is to trust,completely trust.There were quite a few times I thought my therapist had contacted outside people,times I accused him of it,times I didnt really believe him when he told me he hadn't.There were even times I was afraid to talk at all because I thought(imagined)he was recording me and going to the police after sessions.
In hindsight though,I know it all stemmed from my own insecurities and fears,and my own irrational thoughts.I just assumed I would be betrayed,just like I had been so many times in the past.If you have been with this t for a long time then I think maybe it's okay to trust what you're being told,and believe that if it should happen,and others are brought into it,it would be to help you,not harm you.That's easy for me to say now,but while I was in therapy,I went through what you are so many times,it was so hard to allow myself to be vulnerable in there without expecting repercussions.Some of the things that happened after sessions proved to me he was indeed talking to family members,police,other people,but in actuality they were just coincidences.
Also,I dont think it's necessary to apologize for getting angry,isn't that just a natural reaction when someone feels they have been betrayed?I hope you can work through all this and begin to trust your t again.Sometimes it took a long time for me to start trusting mine again,I always felt like I had to test him afterwards(I wonder if he knew that's what I was doing?) in order to feel I could trust him,which threw therapy off in different directions,sometimes for long periods of time that could have been used to work on real issues.
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