Venting and Scared

[Ashley-Kate]

how pathetic it is to call a phone line that is supposed to be open 7 days a week from 8 to mid night and no one answers ever.. i called in the last 3 days about 10 times and still no answer WOW really big congrads to ANEB quebec and there new "ligne d'?coute"
sorry its simply frustrating. and i had to express how infuriating it is to someone .

 

[Retired]

re: Venting

Sorry to hear you could not reach the line you were trying to contact.

The challenge faced by crisis centers is the difficulty they have in recruiting and keeping volunteers. In some cases, there is a lack of funding for these centers, which adds to the problem.

It is no easy task to have well qualified, trained and available volunteers for a crisis center. The training is extensive, and some volunteers burn out.

Sometimes crisis centers have an answering machine, but that's not the ideal. Are you aware of any alternative lines you can call?

Remember if you feel you are in imminent danger, call 911.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

Re: Venting

YEah well i leaft a message last night and never got a call back so i sort of don'T trust there system. I also called a crisis center and they seem to not really understand eating disorder and i called suicide action montreal and well they don'T really understand eating disorders either so basically nothing works

 

[Retired]

Re: Venting

Ashley,

We understand both, so if you need to vent or are looking for support, then you are always welcome here at Psychlinks.

Remember though that we are not necessarily here 24-7 either, but we do try to respond to all posts in a timely manner.

Is there anything we can do to help?

 

[Ashley-Kate]

Re: Venting

I just need this all to stop, spending days purging, running, and following the will of the eating disorder, feeling like my life makes no sence, crying over the fact that my legs are too tired and in pain to run another mile yet not being able to stop, purging non stop because i am soo scared that if something stays in i am going to die and i can't take it. feeling like i am all alone in this battle because the therapist around me have given up on helping me. i am just simply tired of fighting this

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Re: Venting

Yes. You do need it to stop and I know you need help to do that. Keep trying to find that help, Ashley. It's there somewhere.

Are you still in the Montreal area?

 

[Ashley-Kate]

Re: Venting

yeah i am still in the motreal area tonight i am at my brothers house alone he is on vacation i decided to give my boyfreind some time off of me this just doens't make sence anymore the hole eating disorder nothing makes sence its useless yet i continue i feel like such a tool like i am owned by it like i dont have an existance anymore

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Re: Venting

Maybe that's not a good idea, being alone just now. What makes you think your boyfriend needs some time off?

What about the program you attended before? At the Douglas Hospital, if memopry serves?

 

[Ashley-Kate]

Re: Venting

yeah it was at the douglas i called recently and there is a waiting list of at least 2 months about and the woman i spoke to my old therapist told me that i would have to see her and that i didn't like her so the programm would probably not work for me. and that the douglas can probably no longer help me anymore than they have exept to maintain a certain bit of health but never to get any better basically that i am a chronis eating disorder. my boyfriend was tired and exhausted last week and feeling down and depressed because he feels he doesn't know what to do so i felt he needed space

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Re: Venting

Just because you relapsed after doing the program once doesn't mean it's "chronic" or "hopeless" and it doesn't mean you couldn't benefit from going through that program again. If you have to see someone you don't like to get on the waiti9ng list, is that really such a big deal? Just go see her if that's what it takes.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

Re: Venting

well i have done there program 3 times and have been hospitalise 8 times in total now so i guess they all don'T really think hope is there why should i simply because i was well at some point in my life.. that only means that i can be well for a little while it doesn'T mean i can stay well and i am sick of relapse of beeing so happy then so down its hard

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Re: Venting

Option 1: You give up trying. Outcome? You pretty much guarantee you'll continue to suffer.

Option 2: You don't give up. You keep trying. Outcome? You just might find thaty things improve eventually.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

Re: Venting

not to sound over dramatic or anything but doesn'T give up trying simply add up to death and death being no more suffering . its the logic thats going through my head i don't really want to die yet at the same time it seems to clear.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Re: Venting

I think you should at least try to acknowledge that that is not your only option, Ashley.

 

[Ashley-Kate]

Re: Venting

trying realy trying i have been trying

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Re: Venting

I know you have, Ashley. All I'm saying is don't give it all up now. You've worked too hard to throw it all away now.

 

[suewatters1]

Re: Venting

Please don't give up Ashley-Kate. I will be 48 years old in a few weeks and I had some very bad times emotionally and physically. The physically is getting worse but the emotionally part the person I am seeing is the person I have been waiting 47 years to become. I am so grateful I didn't kill myself all those time I thought of it. I still have a long way to go emotionally like my ADHD and my house being a disaster zone but for the first time in years I am so glad to be alive and you will feel this way to hopefully very soon we all love you so very much. You can't leave us because a part of us would die also so please please don't leave us it is too soon.

Sue

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Re: Venting

Ashley... how are you doing today?

 

[Ashley-Kate]

Re: Venting

Well i made it through the week-end. Last night instead of calling the organism i went to the group ANEB provides for people with eating disorders . It was okay i ended up crying the hole time basically even more discouraged to see how many of the people attending remind me of me at some point before now. Before i left the woman animating the program asked me if i was going to be okay, i left before replying, i really had nothing to say. She passed me by outside in her car and stoped e spoke for a little while i am guessing she just needed a clear concience and also that she is pretty kind to have stayed with me out there for a little while to talk, she felt worried for me, I guess i give out that impression lately. She told me that she feels i need a drastic change to get better something completly different for my life to go onto another path, I wish i still had the streagth to try something new. I have my appointment with my psychologist today i guess i will know then whats going on. My eating disorder seems to only get worst as the days go by so i don't know what to say or what to do anymore.
thanks
ash

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Re: Venting

Good work, Ashley.

Good luckn with your psychologist today.