What are you supposed to do....

[Rosa]

when treatment for depression doesn't work? Emontions have no place in this arguement, I'm thinking in terms of quality of life. I have been in therapy for years with what I consider an exceptional doctor. I no longer work with him as of this week. I've tried about every anti-depressant out there. I refuse to get electric shock therapy. For those that know me, I have a home for my dogs so that is not an issue. I would rather live a good week than to live years with this depression.
Rosa

 

[Into The Light]

Re: What are you suppose to do....

why are you no longer working with this doctor?

also, have you tried a combination of meds? i remember there was an article here at one point about using combinations of two anti-depressants instead of one for severe cases.

you say you have a home for your dogs, it sounds to me like you are preparing for suicide. am i misinterpreting?

 

[Daniel E.]

Rosa,

When I was most depressed, disillusioned, and most at risk for suicide, I found therapy did help calm me down and I'm sure it reduced the severity and frequency of my suicide attempts. I did try ECT but it, apparently, didn't work for me.

How long have you had depression? Personally, I have had depression since 1995 when I was a senior in high school. It has only been in the last couple years that I have stopped thinking about suicide very seriously for much of the time. Regarding treatment, I benefit most from therapy + socialization + exercise. What triggers suicidal thoughts for me is stress and loneliness.

...I'm thinking in terms of quality of life.

I have said the same thing to my therapist. However, after reading the book The Suicidal Mind, I started thinking less in terms of quality of life and more in terms of frustrated psychological needs, specifically regarding, in my case, socialization. ("It's the loneliness that's the killer.") Three years ago I moved to be closer to my family and that has helped a lot.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

There are many options for people for whom antidepressants "don't work" besides ECT, Rosa.

Sometimes, using a combination of medications is the answer. For example, you might with your doctor's help identify the SSRI that worked best for you, lower the dose a bit, add in a small amount of Wellbutrin and/or a low dose of one of the so-called "atypical anti-psychotics" (I know it's a horrible name but we're talking about a very low dose, not the doses used for psychotic illnesses - what they do is boost the effectiveness of the SSRIs).

I don't know if your doctor is a GP or a psychiatrist. If you haven't had a consultation with a psychiatrist, ask for one, specifying that you want someone who is an expert in psychopharmacology.

 

[Rosa]

Thanks for your replys. I can't say I'm ok. The depression has gone on and off for years and years. Recently its just out of control. I've tried what has to be almost all the drugs out there for depression and in all kinds of combinations. This is an especially stressful time for me and I'm sure that has alot to do with it but its a stress that I don't think I can handle much more. Don't mean to be a downer. My doctor is a psychitrist and I've worked with him for years now. I did agree yesterday to meet one more time with him. I'll see how that goes. Honestly though, I really need some relief.
Rosa

 

[Retired]

Rosa

I did agree yesterday to meet one more time with him

Is the choice to stop seeing this particular psychiatrist yours or is it due to some other factor?

you say you have a home for your dogs, it sounds to me like you are preparing for suicide

I would like to echo this question. If you are thinking about suicide, you need to keep yourself safe until you see the doctor again, and reprt these thoughts.

As the others have said, there are options available, as depression is treatable.

I refuse to get electric shock therapy

What is your objection to considering electoconvulsive therapy?

 

[Halo]

Rosa,

I personally can relate to pretty much all of what you wrote. I am glad that you have agreed to see your psychiatrist at least for one more session. Does he know that you are not doing well and thinking in terms of suicide? I know that you mentioned ECT earlier in your post and was wondering if there are reasons that you don't want to go that route?

Again, I can relate to what you are saying and I can only offer my support and lots of hugs :hug: :hug: :hug:

Take care :heart:

 

[Mari]

Dear Rosa,

I have a home for my dogs

Your dogs look lovely. My understanding of shepherds is that they are very loyal dogs. I can not imagine that they would be happy with any other owner. Our black retriever cried and sulked if we even left her for a few hours. Once we left her at a kennel for a few days. She opened three gates in order to get out and find us. The kennel owner changed her name to Houdini. Their home is with you. Please do not give up hope. :heart: Mari

 

[Daniel E.]

This is an especially stressful time for me and I'm sure that has alot to do with it but its a stress that I don't think I can handle much more.

There's always hospitalization. Other than that, seeing a therapist two or three times a week can help. (Also, when I have been on antidepressants that are known for being sedating like Remeron, I felt, at the time, that I was too tired to kill myself.)

Regarding ECT, a new book about it came out last year regarding ECT's comeback:

In fact, the U.S. surgeon general and the National Institutes of Health agree that for severe depression ECT is safe, and often more effective than antidepressants or psychotherapy.

Shock: The Healing Power of Electroconvulsive Therapy By Kitty Dukakis, Larry Tye - Google Books

Needless to say, ECT is safe and suicide is risky. (A signifcant percentage of suicide attempts result in full-body paralysis.) I was able to take final exams while having ECT. It wasn't a big deal.

 

[Rosa]

I'm sorry I'm having such a hard time writing...I keep breaking down in tears everytime I come here. I go see my doctor in two hours and I will make him aware of how bad things are right now. I just can't handle the stress, the shaking, the feelings of being sooooo overwhelmed, etc much longer. Yes, I have my dogs. They have kept me alive this long. I think seeing their pic by my name is hard because I know what they mean to me...more tears....
Rosa

 

[Retired]

Rosa,

When considering therapeutic options, including ECT, to which you say you have reservations, you and your doctor will be weighing the benefits vs the risks of each option available to you.

You may have apprehensions about some modes of therapy, but ask your doctor to explain each of your options on a benefits vs risks basis.

This is the sensible (and scientific) manner in which you can come to an intelligent decision as to what will be best for you.

Your medical history is an important part of the equation which is why you need to have this conversation with your doctor.

When you and your doctor find the strategy where the benefits outweigh the potential risks, then this is the one to consider.

You need not feel this way, because depression is a treatable illness. Sometimes it takes a few trials to find the therapy that will work for you.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Please come back and tell us how that appointment went, Rosa.

 

[poohbear]

I also think that the reference to your dogs having a home could be a "foreshadowing" of some sort. You sound very sad and I think you may feel as if you have no other option. But you do! You mentioned them in your post! (medicines, ECT and your therapist) You can think of how long you've fought and how wonderful it will be to feel "good" again. You only have to keep trying.

I think there might be a stigma attached to ECT. People sometimes think of it as "shock therapy" and make a horrid little picture in thier minds of the process. In actuality, it's done in a very clinical environment, much like any doctor's office visit. It's not likely that anyone will "know" you've received treatments, so there shouldn't be any shame or fear about taking the treatments.

Has your doctor suggestd this treatment? I'm just wondering because in your post, you didn't say, except to say you think you've exhausted all medicinal avenues. On that note, I think you may be frustrated you've not found the proper drug or combination of such to relieve your symptoms.
Also, the ECT could be just the ticket you are looking for, at least for the short term. Please look into it, online even. There are a multitude of sites and research studies performed on this therapy (and in conjunction with the proper medication). You could be just a click away (literally) from happier times.

I do hope you feel better about your options after your visit today. Please continue talking your feelings out.

 

[Retired]

I think there might be a stigma attached to ECT.

You are quite right, and great strides have been made in this form of treatment in recent years.

Some insights into ECT can be found this Psychlinks posting

 

[HA]

Hope you are okay, Rosa.

:grouphug:

 

[Rosa]

Thanks for everyones kind words and support. I will try to write but need to let you know I still start crying and am unable to stop...being at work right now that makes it hard. I did see the doctor yesterday. It went ok. He put me back on the Abilify so hopefully that will help. Emontionally I feel like my nerves are shot. I shake all the time, I feel completely overwhelmed, I cry all the time. I can't think right. I love my dogs more than anything on earth and believe they are gifts from G-d. I will write more when I get better control of myself.
Rosa

 

[Retired]

I love my dogs more than anything on earth and believe they are gifts from G-d.

Continue to focus on these as your reasons to live, Rosa.

We'll be eager to continue hearing about your progress.

Glad to hear you were satisfied with your doctor appointment.

 

[Halo]

Rosa,

I am glad to hear that you went to your appointment and that you have made a medication switch. I really hope with all my heart that it works for you. I really do :heart: I know that it is frustrating when medications don't seem to be working and you feel like you have tried them all trust me I have and am there. But, we have to hang onto hope that one day we will hit upon the right combination of meds and we will be glad that we held on. You have to hang onto the hope Rosa...there is hope with the right combo maybe just being right around the corner.

Take care
:hug: :hug:

 

[Rosa]

Thank you all so much. I've been back on the Abilify for several days now and I'm finally calming down. I really appreciate your support and I'm really thankful Dr Baxter put up my pics of my dogs by my name. Believe it or not, that made a difference. These are my furcrew and what keeps me alive. I do get frustrated in that I've been in therapy for years and been on so many medications and yet I'm still fighting the depression. But I guess I'm not alone in this frustration. I'm going to try spending more time here again, I think it will be good for me. Part of the problem with the depression is its like a cycle. As some of you may recall I've had alot of trouble making ends meet. Well when I get depressed I'm sometimes unable to work and I don't get paid for days off (no paid time off where I work) so that just makes it worse and it kind of feeds into itself.
But all who said to focus on my dogs-you are right. I did have a place for them but no matter how good it would be there-its nothing like the love I have for them. They are kind of odd in the fact they think they have the greatest mom in the world! LOL..
Thanks again, and I won't be such a stranger next time.
Rosa

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I'm really happy to hear that you're feeling a little better, Rosa.