More threads by annie1967

annie1967

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Hello all!

Does age and being thrown into a major life change make one question themselves, other people, family, and friends? I believe in epiphanies, more so now than when I was younger. Over the last year I began questionning my life; what I wanted, what I needed. I began to realize that not everything my husband wants is what I want. That I am nothing like my siblings. That I started to see 'through' family members and some friends; like their behaviours. They were always this way, but now I think about how they treat me or ignore me and it angers me. And moving to a new community so far away from everything that was familar to me, I've struggled with this move. I have a positive outlook and make the best of a difficult situation. I love my home, my animals, my property. I take the plunge and I put my vulnerable self out there in this new community in hopes of making friends, making connections; only to be a form of gossip and judegement. I socialize through my computer unfortunately, but I'm working on trying to meet others in my community. I've met 1 woman and invited her to my home. She's from Thailand and was a mail order bride (not called the same today). We had tea, we chatted, I asked her questions to get to know her. We only talked about her and the money she likes to spend. We are completely opposite. I'm 48 and I spent my married years making friends with people I had nothing in common with, just so I would make friends; you see we've moved 9 times in 29 years, so making friends was something I had to do often. I am a simple woman, it takes very little to make me happy. This I've learned in the last 2 1/2 years. I know what I want since questionning everything and everone. I want to make friends, I want to be assertive with my family, my husband's family and even my husband. But not at the expense of my own happiness and sanity.

So my questio is 'Does age and major live changes make you question everything and everyone?'

Thank you
 
Yes i think with age one gets more insight really as to what is indeed happening in their own lives and around them.
When one is young one is perhaps more of a follower accepting things not wanting to cause ripples in the still waters

I see relationships now as they are not as i wanted them to be with people i care about with age their is more insight that is all i am trying to say
 

annie1967

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Well put, and this is my feeling too that I am 'seeing' more as I get older and coming to terms with many things in my life and people too. Thanks for your message.
 

MHealthJo

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I think there's probably some variation between people in terms of whether they get more and more 'set in their ways', pushing themselves further into ways of thinking that are popular or pressured on them etc; or whether they go the vice-versa route and become more questioning of the ways that they thought previously.

I don't know exactly why some people seem to go in one direction, and others in the other direction, and others stay roughly the same.

But I guess I do believe that with more time lived and more experiences, and more changes happening in the world around us and time moving forward, it makes it very likely that over time eventually events will happen which cause uncertainty, questioning, etc. Life certainly is full of all sorts of changes and developments.

I wonder if maybe curious people and people who have a lot of input from the world around them, a lot of contact with different things and different events or different people, are perhaps more likely to experience uncertainty and changing or developing thoughts; while perhaps people who stay very sheltered in some sort of closed-off, unchanging environment, might not experience it as much.... just a guess though. Maybe it still happens simply with the passage of time.....

And I think that maybe people who don't seem to experience uncertainty over time at all, perhaps in fact do have some of these feelings, but might be blocking them out of their conscious awareness to avoid stress or anxiety...
 

annie1967

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I think in my case I am leading somewhat of a sheltered life because I'm home everyday in the country where I might not see a stranger or neighbour for days on end. I see my husband every night he comes home thou. I find that I've changed whether it be that I moved to such a whole new environment, away from everything I know or was familiar or because I'm getting older or because I am spending more time listening and watching people including through social media. Maybe it's all these things. There are many changes in the world yet some people don't change at all, stay in their ways.
I like to think my questioning my life, people, family, friends is more of the fact that I'm learning to appreciate what means most to me, that I'm growing and getting more independent. Getting a voice for the first time. And what I expected from family and friends was more but I didn't get it and my perception of them has changed. I'm learning that I can't count on them for suuport. They chose to forget about me in way and that's fine. I'm learning to find other ways to get support and talk to people who understand like this wonderful forum I found.
Thank you for your message. As I mentioned in another post, being on here talking to people helps me learn more about myself and helping others in turn I'm also helping myself. :)
 
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