Hi,
Firstly i want to say that im good in most social situations, i have many friends and i get on great at work also. Very rarely of late (but more common a while back) i would get these strange "attacks", i use the word attack because i cant think of anything better, ill describe them below:
these "attacks" seem to happen when im talking one on one with people, i'll become uncomfortable. Most of the time when talking to someone im looking at the person but most of my noticing is subconcious and im concentrating more on the conversation. The usual precurser to these attacks happens when i stop noticing subconciously and start actually looking at the person... i cant describe it exactly but i will begin to focus my attention on the person instead of what there saying, i become very aware of myself and my facial expressions aswell as thiers and i suddenly find it uncomfortable to look the person in the eyes for more than a few seconds at a time. This in itself is quite bad because i will then tend to look away randomly giving the impression that im not interested in the conversation when i am.
If this situation continues without me getting control of it in someway it can then develop into this attack i speak of. Its a very intense feeling where my lips will tingle ill get a sickening feeling, i find it hard to access memory (mind blank) and i find it hard to maintain my facial expressions (as im trying to fight through it i may try to smile but its a struggle too).
By far the worst thing is the mind blank, ill usually get the attack just as im telling a story of something that happened to me etc. I suddenly cant access memory, i completely forget the events in the story for the length of the attack (usually no longer than 5 - 10 seconds). Having many eyes on you when your in the middle of a story, and suddenly having no access to memory or thought processes is quite scary, ill find myself just looking at people, unable to get past whats happening in that exact situation to access memory. During this time im left to try and dig my way out of the situation, usually by looking at a group of people or into the distance at someone walking until the attack ends, then ill say something along the lines of "sorry, thought i recognised that person for a second." Then ill continue speaking again or get someone else involved so the attention isnt on me.
I feel ive coped well with this through the fact that i dont dwell on it. When i first started having the attacks a year or two ago i became frightened and on edge that they would happen... I would get them with family and close friends occasionly. I very rarely get them now (just the odd one here and there, such as one i had a few weeks back) and I never get them with close friends or family anymore. I still find it uncomfortable speaking to people i dont know very well in a one on one situations however, unless that conversation doesnt require me to maintain alot of eye contact for an extended period of time. Im kinda worried that it may happen in a job interview sometime although ive been fine in interviews so far.
I suppose im posting here because firstly ive never spoken to anyone about this and secondly i was wondering if anyone here knew what this was. After reading the forum id imagine it was some kind of social issue, but i will happily joke and be the center of attention at work and I generally have a good social life, ive also never had any kind of stress and am very layed back.
Any input is greatly appreciated, thanks for taking the time to read.
Roo
Firstly i want to say that im good in most social situations, i have many friends and i get on great at work also. Very rarely of late (but more common a while back) i would get these strange "attacks", i use the word attack because i cant think of anything better, ill describe them below:
these "attacks" seem to happen when im talking one on one with people, i'll become uncomfortable. Most of the time when talking to someone im looking at the person but most of my noticing is subconcious and im concentrating more on the conversation. The usual precurser to these attacks happens when i stop noticing subconciously and start actually looking at the person... i cant describe it exactly but i will begin to focus my attention on the person instead of what there saying, i become very aware of myself and my facial expressions aswell as thiers and i suddenly find it uncomfortable to look the person in the eyes for more than a few seconds at a time. This in itself is quite bad because i will then tend to look away randomly giving the impression that im not interested in the conversation when i am.
If this situation continues without me getting control of it in someway it can then develop into this attack i speak of. Its a very intense feeling where my lips will tingle ill get a sickening feeling, i find it hard to access memory (mind blank) and i find it hard to maintain my facial expressions (as im trying to fight through it i may try to smile but its a struggle too).
By far the worst thing is the mind blank, ill usually get the attack just as im telling a story of something that happened to me etc. I suddenly cant access memory, i completely forget the events in the story for the length of the attack (usually no longer than 5 - 10 seconds). Having many eyes on you when your in the middle of a story, and suddenly having no access to memory or thought processes is quite scary, ill find myself just looking at people, unable to get past whats happening in that exact situation to access memory. During this time im left to try and dig my way out of the situation, usually by looking at a group of people or into the distance at someone walking until the attack ends, then ill say something along the lines of "sorry, thought i recognised that person for a second." Then ill continue speaking again or get someone else involved so the attention isnt on me.
I feel ive coped well with this through the fact that i dont dwell on it. When i first started having the attacks a year or two ago i became frightened and on edge that they would happen... I would get them with family and close friends occasionly. I very rarely get them now (just the odd one here and there, such as one i had a few weeks back) and I never get them with close friends or family anymore. I still find it uncomfortable speaking to people i dont know very well in a one on one situations however, unless that conversation doesnt require me to maintain alot of eye contact for an extended period of time. Im kinda worried that it may happen in a job interview sometime although ive been fine in interviews so far.
I suppose im posting here because firstly ive never spoken to anyone about this and secondly i was wondering if anyone here knew what this was. After reading the forum id imagine it was some kind of social issue, but i will happily joke and be the center of attention at work and I generally have a good social life, ive also never had any kind of stress and am very layed back.
Any input is greatly appreciated, thanks for taking the time to read.
Roo
