What to do when your therapist is facing burnout?

[totaldarkness]

Hi everyone,

Sorry I am new and goiing through a difficult time. I hope i put this in the correct thread.

I have been working with my therapist for over two years. We have had some bumps along the way, but it usually made our relationship stronger. He has taught me so much and I can't imagine my life without him.

He is going through some medical issues brough on by stress. At the same time i am going through a rough spot. Things from my past resurfaced a few weeks ago, and I told him i didn't want to talk about them right now because I needed to wait until his availability was better. Well he "encouraged" me to talk about it and ever since then I am a basket case. I have flashbacks and don't can't leave my house.

He has disclosed that his feelings for more intense than he is used to. I have totally stressed him out. The one program in our area for PTSD is not looking hopeful and when i called today, his message on voicemail stated he was out this week. I feel so alone and don't think i can go through this again. I don't want to stress him out anymore, but I have children to think about.

It's like he wanted me to disclose my trauma and then say, see you in month! I don't get it....

Sorry I hope this makes sense.

 

[NicNak]

Hi there, Totaldarkness. :welcome: to Psychlinks.

I am a bit puzzled by what your therapist is saying too.

He is going through some medical issues brought on by stress.

He has disclosed that his feelings for more intense than he is used to. I have totally stressed him out.

I could be wrong, but I would consider this to have been inappropriate for your therapist to have told you.

The one program in our area for PTSD is not looking hopeful and when i called today, his message on voicemail stated he was out this week. .

Maybe try to call the PTSD clinic back next week when someone might be there? Maybe someone will be able to see you then? Is there any other mental health resources you can use until the PTSD clinic can see you?

You can always visit us at Psychlinks. We will be here for you too. I would also consider having a crisis phone number handy just in case you might need it.

I even make sure I have the local crisis centre number available for just in case.

Again, :welcome: to Psychlinks, glad you joined us

 

[Mari]

:welcome2:

and just to add a bit to what NikNak said. I have a cork board above the phone where I keep the lists of all the medical numbers and emergency numbers so that when I need them I do not have look or think about where they might be. I also keep the numbers of supportive friends and family that I could phone. This is also a good project to keep busy while you are waiting and when you are done you can choose who to call. :support: Mari

 

[Retired]

He is going through some medical issues brought on by stress.

He has disclosed that his feelings for more intense than he is used to. I have totally stressed him out.

I to am puzzled by these statements. Would you elaborate on their meaning, please. totaldarkness?

A therapist should not be seeking support from the client/patient, and should maintain a professional and objective boundary for the benfit of the client/patient.

Have you thought about arranging to begin work with a different therapist?

After all you are the consumer of the service and depending on where you live, have the right to select the therapist of your choice.

If you do not feel you can achieve your therapeutic goal with your current therapist, you need to take charge of your mental health care, and arrange to be seen by someone else.

 

[totaldarkness]

A therapist should not be seeking support from the client/patient, and should maintain a professional and objective boundary for the benfit of the client/patient.

He is not seeking support, but more trying for me to understand why he can't be the support i need right now.

I just don't understand why he did this. Why have me bring all this stuff out when he isn't available? It took me years to forget about it...

He is the first therapist i was ever able to open up with. I can't start all over again.

 

[ladylore]

First off - Welcome

I just don't understand why he did this. Why have me bring all this stuff out when he isn't available? It took me years to forget about it...

I really don't think he is doing this on purpose. Everyone - and I mean everyone, including therapists go through hard times in their lives. Sounds like there are things going on in his life that you can't be aware of. Compassion for him may be the key here.

He is the first therapist i was ever able to open up with. I can't start all over again.

I know this is hard but you can start with someone else again. Your in a different place then where you were two years ago. You may ask your current therapist if he can make some recommendations for you, even on a temporary basis until he is feeling better.

Who supervises your therapist? This is a question that you need to ask him. Who is he going to for help. He definitely needs supervision during this time.

But please remember - he isn't doing this to slight you. He is going through his own stuff right now.

Hope some of this helps.

 

[amastie]

Hi, welcome Totaldarkness

even if you find it very hard to go to a different therapist, could you not see someone else - any kind of counsellor at all just to feel more supported, if only to say what has occurred for you. Psychlinks is also a good place to come whenever you need that.

Just wanted you to know that my heart goes out to you. I do so hope that you find someone in your 3D life. Is there a directory or a phone book which will tell you of counsllors/therapists within reach?

Thinking of you,

amastie

 

[totaldarkness]

I know he isn't doing this on purpose, but times i feel like he is. My whole world has changed, and don't understand why he pushed the issue. I feel like i have two selves, and the flashbacks get me into a disocciative state. I am afriad to go out and haven't been to work or school. I know him very well. I am in the profession and have taken workshops with him. He has commented about how he has been doing this for years, and i have known him more than any client he has worked with.

Knowing that, makes it hurt more. He should have known that I would feel totally abandoned during this time. He supervises other therapists and feel how would he handle this situation by another therapist?? I have asked him that but than he gets defensive.

I think it was just an error and he is human. How about "i messed up and I'm sorry?"

~totaldarkness

 

[Always Changing]

I am in the profession and have taken workshops with him. He has commented about how he has been doing this for years, and i have known him more than any client he has worked with.

Reading the above , makes me wonder if it is what I would call familiarity\friendship that ye both have now with each other rather than a client\therapist relationship? If this is the case then maybe objectivity has been lost?? . I do not know but throwing this in as food for thought.

I do think that the others suggestions of seeing someone else to help you through this difficult time is the best path to take at the min. This can and has been done, difficult\hard as it maybe to start over with someone new.

I am also wondering as you are also in the profession if you yourself have a supervisor that you can check in with and who maybe able to see clearly and objectively what is happening with or between you and your T. If you haven't a supervisor maybe you can call on another therapist that you might know of?, maybe from a workshop you have participated in?

I know what it feels like to be left stranded and I am sorry this has happened to you. :hug: I hope you find someone soon to help you though this.

:hug:

 

[seeker]

It sounds a little to me like the line between patient and doctor might be slightly blurred. My thought is that if a therapist is going through personal issues that are negatively impacting their ability to treat their patients, ethically they need to step back, and possibly have someone take over their patients until their situation is resolved enough for them to function properly in their role as a doctor again.

I know that for most people receiving treatment, this would be very difficult, because they have built up trust and a rapport with a doctor whom they have faith and trust in. However, in my opinion, it could potentially be much more damaging for a therapist to continue seeing patients while they are in a somewhat fragile state.

Just my two cents...

 

[totaldarkness]

Reading the above , makes me wonder if it is what I would call familiarity\friendship that ye both have now with each other rather than a client\therapist relationship? :hug:

We had a great session yesterday, and he is doing much better. I guess I have abandonment issues and that just makes little inconvenineces in therapy much more.

Thanks for your support.
:thankyou2:

 

[Ryan Howes]

I don't really know your situation, totaldarkness, but I'd love to take a moment to talk generally about a client's response to therapist burnout.

I addressed therapist burnout in a blog and firmly believe it's the therapist's professional/ethical duty to address her ability to do her job and take a leave if/when she's unable. Hopefully, through consultation, supervision or her own therapy (in my opinion at least one is a necessity), she should have a grasp of her ability to do the job. That should be the function of the license: a mechanism in place to ensure therapists are able to perform their duties effectively without doing harm. At least that's the ideal.

Having said that, if a client feels his therapist is not up to the task, he should feel free to speak his mind. The client is the consumer and the boss, if she isn't receiving the product she desires she should feel free to complain or take her business elsewhere. If this problem persists, getting a second opinion or even going to a licensing board is viable. These steps may end the relationship with the therapist, but one must consider, how much am I really losing? Is paying for ineffective help part of my solution or part of my problem?

The main point is, it's important to keep lines of communication open between client and therapist. Hopefully, the therapist will be honest about his ability to do his job. If not, clients have other options.

Regardless, it's an unfortunate situation. I'm sorry this happened to you, totaldarkness.

-Ryan Howes

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I... firmly believe it's the therapist's professional/ethical duty to address her ability to do her job and take a leave if/when she's unable.

Indeed. In Ontario, where I practice, it's a legislated obligation under the authority of the licensing board, The College of Psychologists of Ontario.