More threads by g-scared


I was in Paris and Vienna for a couple of weeks of vacation. Visiting old friends, and finally taking a break from architecture.

As soon as I return I find my best friend with whom I am also romantically involved hanging out at my home. It was after dinner and we finally had a chance to be alone. It was fantastic, we had missed each other.

But then... I don't understand. It was before halloween and I get a call from my ex-b/f, and find out that he is town again. It's a long story, but we dated for years, and towards the end he developed some sort of very paranoid psychosis which he is still in denial about. To make things worse I received news that one of my studio friends died in car accident. And so, going to my current best friend for comfort, and safety from my past, I felt completely betrayed when he suggested we stop being romantically involved. Worst part was that his reasoning didn't have anything to do with our relationship, but was purely pragmatic.

Four weeks later, a great deal has been resolved, friendships have been restored, I am once again able to focus at work, and the ex-boyfriend seems to be less of a threat. However, huh... I still wonder? Am I insecure, as some people seem to believe, or did I have a right to freak out?

David Baxter PhD

Late Founder
I missed this post until just now, g-scared.

I think this may be related to the situation you were describing in another thread, is that right? Can you tell us how and what was resolved?


you are correct. i did mention this before. i was pretty angry then, but now i've gotten over it... for the most part i guess.

not completely though, obviously, or else it wouldn't be on my mind. am i overthinking this? i do tend to lean towards anxiety and paranoia.

i guess, i'm worried cause i tend to overreact to situations and maybe i need a reality check. or at least some advice so i can put my mind to rest.



well, after weeks of avoiding joel i called him up. i was upset and stressed about some things and i didn't know who else to talk to. so, we spoke on the phone at first and one day, about a week afterwards i decided to sit down and eat dinner with him and everyone else.

it was a little weird but they were friendly and inviting. then we drank beer and hung out at a neighboring party, and by the end of the night i ended up getting back together with him again. and we've been like that since..
i don't think you overreacted when he broke things off, g-scared. i would have been very upset too had it been me. however, now that you're back together, all is well. congratulations :)
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