boofboofboof
Member
Hello,
I hope it's OK to ask for advice in the forum. I am usually a cool, calm and collected kind of guy, but every so often -- if I'm stressed or annoyed -- I can get pretty angry. The thing is, I can feel it coming from a long way away. Suddenly, I feel this sensation in the pit of my stomach which tells me, without a doubt, that I am going to be fighting with my girlfriend anytime soon. I don't want to, but it feels (and is) inevitable.
The longer I let the anger boil away passively inside me, the worse it can become. What can begin as a simple niggly annoying feeling can grow into anger, and even into rage.
On two or three occasions I have reached this 'rage' level around my girlfriend (we have been living together for 4 years, I should add) and I just can't stop it. Even when I'm in the situation, I can feel myself rationalizing about WHY I am so livid, and screaming these reasons at my poor girlfriend, even though the reasons are more or less completely fictitious. I just got going and I can't stop myself.
I can also see this behaviour, when I'm in a 'regular' fight, albeit to a much lesser degree. I will tend to prolong a fight just to allow myself to be angry.
I hate this part of my personality and desperately want to work with it. It is extremely counter-productive and not at all easy on my girlfriend, when it occurs. Any suggestions?
Many thanks in advance,
Phil
I hope it's OK to ask for advice in the forum. I am usually a cool, calm and collected kind of guy, but every so often -- if I'm stressed or annoyed -- I can get pretty angry. The thing is, I can feel it coming from a long way away. Suddenly, I feel this sensation in the pit of my stomach which tells me, without a doubt, that I am going to be fighting with my girlfriend anytime soon. I don't want to, but it feels (and is) inevitable.
The longer I let the anger boil away passively inside me, the worse it can become. What can begin as a simple niggly annoying feeling can grow into anger, and even into rage.
On two or three occasions I have reached this 'rage' level around my girlfriend (we have been living together for 4 years, I should add) and I just can't stop it. Even when I'm in the situation, I can feel myself rationalizing about WHY I am so livid, and screaming these reasons at my poor girlfriend, even though the reasons are more or less completely fictitious. I just got going and I can't stop myself.
I can also see this behaviour, when I'm in a 'regular' fight, albeit to a much lesser degree. I will tend to prolong a fight just to allow myself to be angry.
I hate this part of my personality and desperately want to work with it. It is extremely counter-productive and not at all easy on my girlfriend, when it occurs. Any suggestions?
Many thanks in advance,
Phil