When therapy goes stagnant...

[Banned]

Since Christmas my therapy sessions have all but ended...I'm still going every week, but we are both at a loss for what to do. We were on a roll and things were happening, and then they just kind of stagnated and lately nothing is happening. We attribute it to a few things...me being crazy busy with my new job, us not being able to do Theraplay (the second therapist isn't available anymore, and we can't find someone else)...so I'm trying to decide what to do. I don't want to stop altogether, but I'm not big on the idea of paying for nothing...we're going to try every second week instead of every week and see how that goes. Has anyone else experienced this and if so, what strategy did you take? I'm at a loss. I really feel like we've done nothing for the past month, and it's frustrating.

 

[Daniel E.]

. Has anyone else experienced this and if so, what strategy did you take? I'm at a loss.

Yes, but it's mostly related to me getting better. Typically, I go from weekly sessions to biweekly sessions to "see you when I relapse."

 

[Banned]

Thanks Daniel. That's kind of what I'm thinking...I think I just don't need it to the extent that I used to, which is a good thing...

 

[Into The Light]

Yes, but it's mostly related to me getting better. Typically, I go from weekly sessions to biweekly sessions to "see you when I relapse."

i was just wondering something Daniel, if you don't mind me asking. When you relapse, does there seems to be any kind of pattern for you? For example, does it happen pretty quickly? Does it happen after a certain amount of time has passed? What do you find are first signs?

if you'd rather not share, that's ok

 

[ThatLady]

Personally, I think therapy is kinda like weight loss programs. Sometimes, you just reach a plateau and things slow down. Yet, even during these times things are happening beneath the surface. Changes are taking place, they're just not as openly recognizable. I'd give it some time, if I were you. Use the interim time to talk about little things, and to work on daily problems that might arise.

 

[Halo]

BG,

In your post you said that you are crazy busy with your new job and I was wondering if because you are so busy that you haven't really had the time to stop and think about what you are feeling and experiencing and therefore do not know what you want/need to be focusing on in therapy.

I know sometimes when I am really busy with things at work it occupies so much of my mind that when I do come to my therapy time that I almost feel blank and unsure of what to say because I have not let my brain think of what I want to focus on.

Just a thought but either way, I think what TL said makes sense about taking some time.

Take care
:hug:

 

[Banned]

Hey Nancy,

Yup we both know that because I've been so stupid busy I haven't had time to think about anything...we both know that if I was at my old job we'd have LOTS to deal with...it's just weird showing up week after week saying "nope, nothing to talk about today"...and frustrating. Oh well.

TL - I like your analogy. It makes alot of sense!

 

[Halo]

BG,

I am glad that you realize that it may have become stagnant because of being crazy busy and yes I know it is frustrating to not feel like you have anything to talk about. One suggestion that I would like to offer to you which seems to have helped me is taking some time to debrief between work and my therapy appointments to try to clear my mind of my work and refocus on my therapy issues and what I may want to discuss. It seems to work for me. Normally I just sit in my car in the parking lot of my therapists building with a coffee and review my week, my thoughts and feelings and see what pops up and I usually feel a pull in specific direction which helps to know what to talk about. Other times I just go in and talk about "whatever" with no specific agenda and that is okay too....keeping it light is how I refer to it.

Either way, enjoy the sessions of "keeping it light" if that is what you are doing and see where this journey takes you.

Take care
:hug: :hug:

 

[Qgirl]

I experienced the stagnation as well and stopped going to therapy because, well, it really was expensive and the worst of my problems were behind me and I was no longer as depressed or requiring medication.

However, I feel incredibly secure in the knowledge that my therapist is still practicing and I can go back to her at any time. I have gone back twice for brief periods when I have felt the need.

Quite frankly, if therapy was free I would gladly go every week for the rest of my life! It is incredibly unfortunate that finances have to come into play in our decisions. My own insurance only covers 20 appointments per year.

 

[Banned]

HI Qgirl,

It is unfortunate that finances have to come in to play, however, as I keep telling myself, therapists have to eat too In a sense I'm glad I don't seem to have much going on. For me, it has been a sign of healing and that I am progressing. I certainly don't want to be dependant on therapy for life, however, it is comforting to know that my therapist is available as needed.

 

[Daniel E.]

When you relapse, does there seems to be any kind of pattern for you?

This is mostly conjecture: The first sign is that I'm chronically stressed from working at a job I hate or whatever. Then there's a triggering event, e.g. things get more difficult at work or I come home to find standing water on the floor. Then I will either crash and burn (major relapse) or, more likely, I will have a minor setback or minor relapse.

This does bring up the value of prescheduled booster sessions, especially since the tendency is often to withdraw when feeling more depressed.

 

[Banned]

This does bring up the value of prescheduled booster sessions, especially since the tendency is often to withdraw when feeling more depressed.

This is so true. I find that when I'm most in need of help, I'm least likely to ask for it. I'm getting better at that part though, and it always helps when one's therapist really makes you believe that they are truly there for you.

 

[Benjamin]

I've been to a few therapists -- some good, some not so good. What I've found is you need to know what you want to get out of therapy. I went to my last therapist 20 times last year. I stopped going because my insurance would only cover 20 session, otherwise I would have kept going.

There were several things I got out of my therapy sessions. First, I enjoyed talking to her. Even though she was more than 10 years younger than me, she was kind of a mother figure. I felt like I could talk to her the way I would like to have been able to talk to my mother. She was supportive, but when I was doing something that was self destructive, she'd let me know.

I knew I was lacking in good social skills and she let me practice on her. We discussed psychology topics in our sessions and I gave a few informal presentations. She didn't think that would help me, but she let me do it anyway. And it did help me a great deal.

She also had nice legs.

 

[texasgirl]

Nancy, your suggestion about sitting in the car and just clearing your head (especially with coffee!) is a really good one. I usually walk the two blocks from my office to my therapist and my head is entirely tied up with the most recent work stuff - to the point where I spend 15 mins or so debriefing him on what is really irrelevant to what I would like to talk about. I am going to try to set at least 15 minutes aside to do exactly what you said (even if on foot!)

TG

 

[Halo]

Nancy, your suggestion about sitting in the car and just clearing your head (especially with coffee!) is a really good one. I usually walk the two blocks from my office to my therapist and my head is entirely tied up with the most recent work stuff - to the point where I spend 15 mins or so debriefing him on what is really irrelevant to what I would like to talk about. I am going to try to set at least 15 minutes aside to do exactly what you said (even if on foot!) TG

Texasgirl, I too found that I was rushing from my job to my therapy appt. to quickly and was still in "work mode" and it was then that I took the time out before the appt. to put the work issues out of my head (i.e. what I left on my desk, calls I had to make etc.) and refocus on my life and my issues which really seemed to help. Another reason that I found it helpful to spend time in my car beforehand is because I always wear the "happy" mask while at work and I was going into my therapy appointments with it still on and pretending everything was "fine". I now have time to safely remove the mask and let some of my guard down in order to show my psych the true me.

I think that taking the 15 or so minutes between work and your appt. is essentially to debrief from work and prepare for your appt. It is like needing to debrief from one meeting for another. Mentally preparing in a way. It has made all the difference in the world for me.

Hope it helps
Take care
:hug:

 

[texasgirl]

I am definitely going to do this starting at my next appt. next week. Thank you so much for bringing this up because with only 50 mins to do the therapy work, bringing in conference call discussions isn't particularly helpful!!!

I will try to stop into a coffee place prior, since I take the train, not my car, to work.:hug:

TG

 

[Halo]

Texasgirl,

Let me know how your next appt goes if you do indeed try it.

Take care
:hug:

 

[texasgirl]

will do.