Who am I actually?.. .

[PlaneswalkerZacron]

I feel like there is always two ways to choose how am I behaving:the more fun-loving side and the serious side.. .and it generally comes with their consequences,I am a guy but I kinda like acting cute and also.. .be random if possible ,while on that ,I like to make fun of myself sometimes in front of other people,but I am not exactly sure where are the borders before I start feeling annoyed if someone make certain bad comments about me,I mean I am expecting something like that but only up to a certain level.. .Plus I am actually kinda clumsy and inattentive which makes me kinda reliant on other people,both of them adding up would make me feel silly and leads to bad self-esteem.. .The thing is I don't know what i want myself to be in a social circle,I mean I feel like being the weirdo,I don't know I just like it,other roles I am not really interested.. .plus I am kinda awkward in social interactions,because I lacked the instinct in communication and may lead to awkward silences and so on and I am not really interested in talking things that are not related to my interests which make my topic for discussion somewhat limited especially with girls.. .And I have a bad habit of randomly nervously smirking,today I think I decided I am going to reduce it because it feels like it makes me feel smug and unnatural I don;t know kinda hard to explain,any ideas?.. .

 

[Mari]

I do not have any particular ideas but your post did make me think about another somewhat related post. I have not researched anything on acting lessons as a form of therapy but it does sound interesting - maybe similar to drama therapy but non-specific and more fun.


http://forum.psychlinks.ca/general-...rking-laughing-too-much.html?highlight=acting

 

[PlaneswalkerZacron]

Oh ok,speaking of that,I think while ability to laugh at yourself is quite good,I think I might taken it a bit too far,I mean I feel fake.. .while doing it and now I try to poker face but it may make myself feel a bit too serious.. . btw I feel like smirk is quite close to being a slasher smile which I don't think is a good indication of good mental health.. .

Back on the topic,I think I kinda slow type of guy, a person who prefers to do things slowly and several times for example study,I.. .don't really know how to cram if necessary although.. . I done a few all-nighters before,basically I think I am not very efficient but I am quite ok with that,but then in conversations sometimes I can't think.. .fast enough to respond well.. .maybe it has to do with me staying in rented flat right now as a student so I lacked opportunities to polish my social skills but even then I don't think I am good at it.. .