Worried about my brother

[Murray]

I am not sure if I am posting this is the right section. I am not really sure why I am even posting this, except that I am feeling sad and worried right now and although there is nothing I can do about the situation as I live far away, I would love to be able to at least give some good advice to my mother or at maybe give her some comfort. Sorry, I am rambling as usual.

My little 6 year old brother was just admitted to a psychiatric hospital a couple days ago. He was talking about killing himself, he even had a plan. The school counselor said that he was delusional as well. It just breaks my heart to think of how scared he must be right now all by himself in the hospital. My poor mom must be devastated as well. She sounds okay when I talk to her, but I am concerned. Although she sounds fairly upbeat and positive she isn't always the most stable person and I worry whenever she is under a lot of stress. I have tried to talk to her and be supportive and listen, but I don't know what to say. It shocked me that a child so young could be having these problems. It makes me really worry for his future. I just hope that he will be alright and that this isn't going to be a lifelong struggle for him. He has had some trauma in his very early years and he is on some medications already. Although I think that he is a bit young to be on meds, I am hoping that something just needs to be adjusted. Now they are checking to see if he is having seizures. It is pretty scary.

In addition to being worried about him, I am afraid for my mom right now. She has had times in the past when she has struggled with her mental health. She has been doing really well lately, but when we just spoke she was talking about one of the kids' toys somehow making noise under her bed, when it was in another part of the house. She sometimes talks about ghosts and things, but I never know when I should be concerned. It is hard for me to tell when she is just being a little bit eccentric and when she is in trouble. Living thousands of miles away just makes it so hard; if she was closer I could go visit and help her and at least see how she is doing.

As I said, I am rambling again. sorry

How do you know when to worry? Lots of people believe in paranormal stuff, but given what sometimes happens when she starts to talk this way, I never know what when to worry and when to just chalk it up to just one of those things.

 

[Domo]

I am sorry to hear about your little brother and mum :support:

I think with worrying, you are only going to cause yourself stress. Obviously it's not easy/possible to stop right now though. I don't have any solutions for you, sorry.

Does your mum have a support where she lives?

 

[Murray]

Thanks Domo,

Your right, I am just going to worry anyway..it's what I do lol
It's so stupid, but I am actually having a bit of a panic attack right now. I had hoped that by writing a bit about it that it would help me to just get it out and relax a little.

My mom does have my step-father, but he isn't always the most supportive. He tends to be in denial about things and often doesn't want to hear about anything negative. I get the impression that he thinks that these sort of problems are a choice and a sign of weakness. She is supposed to be seeing a therapist, but they didn't "click" I guess, so she stopped going.

Anyway, thanks so much for the support.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

How far away are they from you geographically, Murray? Any chance you could reassure yourself bu going to see how they're doing first hand?

 

[Murray]

They are on the other side of the country sadly. I was hoping to be able to save up to go visit them within the next month or so anyway but unfortunately I don't have the money right now. Now I am feeling really guilty that I can't be there to help. I wish that I could see them in person. When my mom gets bad, it is not always easy to tell over the phone until it is too late.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Any other family members who live closer? Uncles or aunts or cousins? Close family friends? Anyone like that whop could look in on them for you?

 

[Murray]

not really...the closest relatives are my step-father's elderly dad and his not real stable brother.

She just called me a few minutes ago to tell me that this toy keeps talking. I suggested that she put the toy out in the garage. I told her that I was worried about her. She said that she doesn't feel like she does when she is hearing things and that her psychiatrist told her that as long as she stayed on her anti-psychotics she would not have a problem. I don't know. Aside from the doll talking, she sounded okay.

She told me that my brother called her in tears begging to come home. It is so sad. She told me that he is the youngest child at the facility, he must be so scared and lonely. My heart just breaks for them.

 

[Domo]

Oh Murray

Just stay strong and keep in regular contact with them. Does your mum have a psychiatrist appointment coming up any time soon?

Could your mum take a teddy or something to your brother, something from home that might comfort him a little bit?

 

[forgetmenot]

Hi Murray i can see why you are worried It there a way to call your moms doctor just to let know that your worried about her. Maybe the doctor could call and make an earlier appointment to talk with your mom. Let the doctor know what stress your mom is under with you brother being ill. The stress could stir things up i am guessing. Just keep incontact with her on the phone if you can If you feel she is getting critical you could always call crisis line for her I hope you little brother stabilizes soon so he can get home take care.

 

[Murray]

Thanks,

I have talked to her 3 or 4 times today. They were able to go visit him today. She said that they had to take him to get and EEG and after the test they took him out to lunch and bought him some transformers. He was so happy, but when he got back to the psych hospital the staff told my mom that it would be better if he didn't keep them there as the other kids would bully him for the toys. Since he is the youngest child there currently they figure he would be ganged up on for the toys. I can't imagine that the staff would let that happen, but I guess they are busy. It just sounds so sad. She did say that he has his favorite quilt there with him. Maybe that gives him some comfort.

I think that she only sees her psychiatrist once ever couple of months to check on her meds. Personally, I think she would benefit from a therapist as well. For a few months after she got out of the psych hospital she was seeing someone, but her therapist told her that she seemed perfectly well adjusted and there was no reason for her to keep coming for therapy as long as she was on meds. Anyway, I don't know what to think right now. I am trying to just be positive and calm and not get any more anxious. I am going to call her again in the morning and see how things are going.

 

[forgetmenot]

I would thing the staff could keep some kind of control over the patients there regarding you brothers toys seeing they were older than him. It is good they got to spend some time with him to reassure him. You are doing the best you can Murray and the is being there for you mom by talking to her. I hope your brother gets home soon.

 

[Murray]

Thanks Violet

You posted while I was typing my last message. I don't know who her doctor is and she would never forgive me if she thought I was talking to anyone else about her mental health. Even when she tried to kill herself when I was a teen, I wasn't allowed to call for help. I just had to walk her around and try to keep her alive until my step-father could take her to the ER. I know that I should have called anyway, but I was scared. Anyway, sorry for the verbal diarrhea here. I will continue to keep in contact with her and if she starts to sound too bad, I could try to get my step-father to listen.

---------- Post added at 11:02 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:10 AM ----------

I spoke with my mom this morning and she sounded better. She said a few more strange things, but nothing too worrisome. My husband thinks that she is just trying to get attention. She knows that I will worry about her. He pointed out that she often starts to talk like this whenever anyone else is having problems. It is so hard to know when she is just "pushing my buttons" to get a reaction and make me worry about her, and when she is genuinely in trouble. I wish that I could tell, but I am never quite sure when she is serious or when she is just manipulating me. I tried to tell him that even if she is just acting this way to get attention, that it is because she is in so much pain that she must need people to worry about her too. I just wish that I was better able to figure out how to help her either way. I suppose that I will just keep trying to talk to her a lot and see how she sounds. Anyway, thanks so much for the support.

 

[Murray]

I just wanted to thank everybody for the support and kindness , especially considering how I tend to ramble and over-share. Sorry.

My brother is back home now and doing pretty well. He still says that he is hearing voices telling him to do bad things, but that he is trying not to listen to them. This worries me, but hopefully with therapy and medication he will be alright. It just makes me so sad that his struggles are starting so early. Until a couple of weeks ago, I didn't even realize that these sorts of mental problems could start so early. At least he is getting help early, so maybe that will make a difference for him.

My mom is also sounding much better now that he is home and safe.

I know that it is unrealistic, but I just wish that no one ever had to suffer like this. My heart just breaks when I think of the pain that everyone is in.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I think that the reality is most individuals who develop full blown schizophrenia in late adolescence or their early 20s have probably been showing (or trying to hide) symproms for years before that first full blown psychotic episode.

 

[Domo]

Don't be sorry! You don't ramble or over share and even if you did, you'd be in good company

Glad you brother is back home and your mum is sounding better.

It would be nice if people didn't have to go through this.

If i could i would be some awesome dragon who goes around absorbing the world's mental illness. I'd be a heaps cool looking dragon!

 

[Murray]

Thanks Dr Baxter, I really had no idea that it could begin this early. I guess I need to do some research on this topic as I know next to nothing about it. I was kind of happy to be ignorant of this topic as it meant that no one close to me was suffering from this (that I know of). Oh well. As you said maybe catching it early will lead to a better outcome.

Domo, I like the idea of a cool dragon. What color would you be? I'd be iridescent green.

 

[Domo]

Have they actually given him a diagnosis? I didn't think you could until you were over 18...

My colour, hrmm perhaps i could change, each mental illness would have a different colour! Green is cool though.

 

[Murray]

I'm not sure if they have actually given him a diagnosis, my mom hasn't really been clear on that. She did say that he is still hearing voices and such and that they have him on meds and therapy for now.

I like the idea of changing colors. Why be just one color? I could certainly see each mental illness having a different color. When I think of various problems, I do imagine different colors representing them.

 

[Domo]

I'm not sure if they have actually given him a diagnosis, my mom hasn't really been clear on that. She did say that he is still hearing voices and such and that they have him on meds and therapy for now.

I like the idea of changing colors. Why be just one color? I could certainly see each mental illness having a different color. When I think of various problems, I do imagine different colors representing them.

Hrmm well it's still early days so it might take some time, years even.

It might even look a lot worse then it actually is. I know i have had some symptoms in the past that were pretty extreme and it never really turned out to be anything as such. Anyway i am rambling and trying to be positive and it's not really making any sense

You see different colours for problems?...That's almost as crazy as my mental illness eating dragon! :lol:

 

[forgetmenot]

Hey it is hard to see someone so close to you suffering but your mom did good got your brother help early. You care so much Murray you have a sensitive soul too but now that he has professional help watching him i think his outcome in life will be so much better. The earlier you catch any mental illness the better the outcome because positive coping skills can be put into place at an earlier stage in their life. Your brother is lucky he has you and such caring people around him to help him Take care Murray it is good you are posting as it does help never worry about posting.