Anger at dead brother

[foghlaim]

what is one to do with anger at a dead bro.................

i found out recently some news about my brother, and it makes me so angry at him.. in fact if he was alive i would prob "go for him" and kick the you know what outta him.(though i'm not a violent person)? ?i know now that he betrayed my trust by lying barefaced to me.. and it was a deep trust that I THOUGHT i had with him.? I stayed up many a night with him,, helping him cope with something that was going on at the time... only to find out now that he was in fact lying the whole time.? ? I really thought we were close.. and when he died i missed him..? now i hate him.. and what he has done not only to me but to other members of my family as well.? ?i think if i could i would go and dance on his grave....? ?f*** him.

another thing i'm thinking.. is why no-one said anything before now.. some of them knew well before it was said to me..? and i'm thinking, i know this? hasn't been the only time i was "sucked in" by a family member.? ?But it sure as hell is the last.? ?i won't even mention i know now....? ?what's the point....?

sorry for putting this here, i didn't know what else to do with it.

 

[Cat Dancer]

Re: anger at dead bro

I'm really, really sorry about this.

Whatever happened with him, whatever he did, you didn't know about it. You did what was in your heart to do for him. That is not wrong of you.

I'm sorry that he hurt you so much with this.

 

[^^Phoenix^^]

I am sad for you that this has happened. One of the most difficult aspects of this is that you can not confront him about it. You will have to forgive/forget to move on. Thats not to say that you have to do that right now. You can go on being angry for a bit. You could write him some letters, (purely theraputic, obviously) or you could discuss him with different people to try to get different opinions, to maybe help you understand why (if there is are reasons) what those reasons were?
I'm sorry its being so tough.

 

[foghlaim]

unfortunately i can't say what he did... but i will find a way to deal with this one day..

phoenix: i'm afraid i don't think i will ever be able to forgive him..for me what he did is unforgivable..
his reasons will never justify what he did.

i will bring this up with my psych anyway. if only to deal with my anger. etc..



Janet and Phoenix: thank you both for your kind words.. i appreciate them. *s*

 

[jkb]

I agree..maybe writting a letter to vent out your anger? I'm sorry about this all.

 

[foghlaim]

thank you JK..*s*

maybe writing a letter would help.. but not now... since writing the above i have kinda ( i think)buried the "emotions" associated with him,(for now) but not the thoughts if that makes any sense..

thanks a mill ppl for the replies
and for the space to be able to post when things just get too much.