Anger: Good or Bad?

[BluMac81]

So, as I'm sure many of you know I have been especially dealing with the emotion of anger over the past few months with my roommate. Her anger, she expresses (rather violently and tearfully), my anger, I shut it out... 'cleanse it' so to speak by means of filling myself for compassion for the person I'm angry with (through prayer, meditation, empaty, etc.), and I NEVER show anger unless in an extreme situation. Simply feel too guilty after harsh words are spoken by me, and the guilt hurts more than anything else. The anger becomes toxic with me. Still though, is holding it in or 'cleansing it' so to speak the best way to deal with anger?

My little sister (now nun) had a bad and very similar issue with expressing anger, in that, she never expressed it. Me and my siblings shared an intimate moment with her as she told us how much holding in her anger has hurt her so much.

So where's the fine line? Like now, I have a million things I could be angry about with my roommate, but not a single word I would speak of it to her, not even a raised voice. I will admit it, I AM angry with her. For so many things, I won't even get into it. But how much anger, and in what fashion should anger be expressed to promote mental wellness? That's the million dollar questions here folks, anyone have any thoughts on this?

 

[Daniel E.]

I think it's good if it transfers to assertiveness or any other positive behavior that is helpful.

And some people don't feel enough anger:

What About Assertiveness Training?

It's true that angry people need to learn to become assertive (rather than aggressive), but most books and courses on developing assertiveness are aimed at people who don't feel enough anger. These people are more passive and acquiescent than the average person; they tend to let others walk all over them. That isn't something that most angry people do. Still, these books can contain some useful tactics to use in frustrating situations.

Controlling Anger Before it Controls You

 

[Banned]

I think anger is good as long as it is expressed in a manner that is constructive or beneficial to the situation. Anger, when used appropriately, can be a catalyst for change. Anger, like any emotion, needs an outlet, or it will turn into other things, ie. depression. I have a terrible temper and know that I need an appropriate outlet. That's why I love kickboxing. It gives me a healthy outlet for my anger and then I can approach a situation more rationally.

 

[boi]

:goodposting: Turtle

 

[Lana]

Anger itself is not a bad emotion/feeling. It signifies that something is wrong, that something requires attention. Repressing that anger is akin to repressing yourself. In such situations, that's where the hurt comes from.

But anger has to go somewhere. It's a strong burst of energy and it needs to be expressed. If not, it will turn inward and on itself. When that happens, it will manifest itself in a number of ways. Depression is one of them. Physical illness also. Crying fits. Outbursts. Insomnia. Moodiness. Headaches. Anxiety. And so on. Anger that is not addressed wil cause damage.

However, anger doesn't always have to be expressed in a negative way. It can be channeled. But it also needs to be discussed and steps taken to correct sitations so as not to evoke anger again. The idea here is that you fix whatever is triggering you to anger....remembering that anger is a signal that something is wrong. If you ignore it...the situation may very well come up again and you'll find yourself back to square one....much like the situation you're in now.

 

[forgetmenot]

anger kept inside is very damaging but released with control say help from psychologist this can be very healing