Angry over Car accident LONG

[siskinator]

On tuesday of this week, my husband and I were involved in a bad car accident. The only injury at the scene was to my face when the air bag went off and hit the right side of my face because i was looking out my husbands window so he could make a left turn from a stop sign. We had a white ford windstar. Thankfully my two daughters were not in the car at the time of the incident. I have a 2 yr old and a 3 month old. Had we been in a smaller car..(we were hit by a little black dinky nissan something) I'm sure we would have both been hospitalized or even dead. The car is a total loss. We had no collision insurance so..you can only imagine. We didnt even have the car for a year and we were coming back from a deli.

Ever since the accident apart from the fact that I keep reliving the accident, I am so angry at my husband, I cant even stand to look at him! I blame him for it..even though it was an accident. i know he didnt mean for any of this to happen...but I just cant take anymore. The accident happend on tuesday and we had come back from a short getaway to new orleans on saturday, the week before that, he was fired from his job. the week before his job loss, my dad fell and cracked his head open and he now has a blood clot in his brain and he cant see well from both eyes. (he's a diabetic and alcoholic, and violent) My sister who is away in England right now, suffered a mini stroke on Wednesday of this week. My husband and i were planning to move out of state but now with the accident..who knows. We have been living with my mom for a few months now because we were anticipating to move.

Now the car is gone, the one thing that we owned and was paid for. the only thing that i could take off in when things were too much.

I'm always angry with my husband about the car and I guess everything else that has happened. It just seems that my life has turned to crap. I dont know how to cope. I really don't. Anyone got advice?

 

[siskinator]

On tuesday of this week, my husband and I were involved in a bad car accident. The only injury at the scene was to my face when the air bag went off and hit the right side of my face because i was looking out my husbands window so he could make a left turn from a stop sign. We had a white ford windstar. Thankfully my two daughters were not in the car at the time of the incident. I have a 2 yr old and a 3 month old. Had we been in a smaller car..(we were hit by a little black dinky nissan something) I'm sure we would have both been hospitalized or even dead. The car is a total loss. We had no collision insurance so..you can only imagine. We didnt even have the car for a year and we were coming back from a deli.

Ever since the accident apart from the fact that I keep reliving the accident, I am so angry at my husband, I cant even stand to look at him! I blame him for it..even though it was an accident. i know he didnt mean for any of this to happen...but I just cant take anymore. The accident happend on tuesday and we had come back from a short getaway to new orleans on saturday, the week before that, he was fired from his job. the week before his job loss, my dad fell and cracked his head open and he now has a blood clot in his brain and he cant see well from both eyes. (he's a diabetic and alcoholic, and violent) My sister who is away in England right now, suffered a mini stroke on Wednesday of this week. My husband and i were planning to move out of state but now with the accident..who knows. We have been living with my mom for a few months now because we were anticipating to move.

Now the car is gone, the one thing that we owned and was paid for. the only thing that i could take off in when things were too much.

I'm always angry with my husband about the car and I guess everything else that has happened. It just seems that my life has turned to crap. I dont know how to cope. I really don't. Anyone got advice?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I'm a bit confused... was the accident your husband's fault?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I'm a bit confused... was the accident your husband's fault?

 

[siskinator]

angry over car accident LONG

According to the insurance companies..ours and theirs..he was wrong...but they said "morally" he was right..whatever that means..here is what happened..

We were at a stop sign, traffic across in one direction was clear but we couldnt see if traffic was clear in the lane nearest to us because there was an 18 wheeler double parked making a delivery a the supermarket on that corner....we waited 2 minutes...the lane we could see that we had to get into was clear..but because that truck was double parked..we couldnt tell..my husband inched forward, waited, inched forward, waited, inched forward, waited, waited and then we both looked to see if traffic wasnt coming when he decided to make his turn and a little black nissan hit us on the front on my husband's side. There was only one guy in the other car and he was coming so fast that we didnt see him at all until the air bags deflated and the smoke had cleared. the other driver of the car said "that's nice" when he saw he had been in a wreck. The truck that had blocked our view, upon seeing the wreckage decided to pull into the supermarket parking lot and into the loading zone and made his deliveries in 10 mins..the police arrived almost 45 mins after the crash and long after the Goya truck was gone. I was looking through the left sie window (the driver's side) when the air bag deployed and caught me in the right side of my face..leaving me deaf in my right ear for about 3 mins.

The guy in the Nissan (according to the insurance companies) must have been going at least 40 for both of the air bags in his car to deploy. Apparently he is not the owner of the car, it belongs to a friend, she owns it but its registered to her mom.

The van cost us 3k at the time we bought it last year and the insurance comp says they will probably offer us 400-800 dollars for it. We are donating it on Monday to an org called Karsforkids. Hey, the damage estimates are 5k-8k....ummm..yeah.

We were at the scene of the crash for 2 and a half hours and then at the mechanic for 1.

My SIL suggested we take the car to this particular mechanic because they know him..whatever..he doesnt even want to write up an estimate, he just throws numbers out there at ya. He said it would take him 2 hours to write one up for us cause the damage is so extensive.

I went out tonight to hang out with some friends, my husband showed up and I got pissed off all over again. I wish I werent so angry. I dont know what to do with myself.

 

[siskinator]

angry over car accident LONG

According to the insurance companies..ours and theirs..he was wrong...but they said "morally" he was right..whatever that means..here is what happened..

We were at a stop sign, traffic across in one direction was clear but we couldnt see if traffic was clear in the lane nearest to us because there was an 18 wheeler double parked making a delivery a the supermarket on that corner....we waited 2 minutes...the lane we could see that we had to get into was clear..but because that truck was double parked..we couldnt tell..my husband inched forward, waited, inched forward, waited, inched forward, waited, waited and then we both looked to see if traffic wasnt coming when he decided to make his turn and a little black nissan hit us on the front on my husband's side. There was only one guy in the other car and he was coming so fast that we didnt see him at all until the air bags deflated and the smoke had cleared. the other driver of the car said "that's nice" when he saw he had been in a wreck. The truck that had blocked our view, upon seeing the wreckage decided to pull into the supermarket parking lot and into the loading zone and made his deliveries in 10 mins..the police arrived almost 45 mins after the crash and long after the Goya truck was gone. I was looking through the left sie window (the driver's side) when the air bag deployed and caught me in the right side of my face..leaving me deaf in my right ear for about 3 mins.

The guy in the Nissan (according to the insurance companies) must have been going at least 40 for both of the air bags in his car to deploy. Apparently he is not the owner of the car, it belongs to a friend, she owns it but its registered to her mom.

The van cost us 3k at the time we bought it last year and the insurance comp says they will probably offer us 400-800 dollars for it. We are donating it on Monday to an org called Karsforkids. Hey, the damage estimates are 5k-8k....ummm..yeah.

We were at the scene of the crash for 2 and a half hours and then at the mechanic for 1.

My SIL suggested we take the car to this particular mechanic because they know him..whatever..he doesnt even want to write up an estimate, he just throws numbers out there at ya. He said it would take him 2 hours to write one up for us cause the damage is so extensive.

I went out tonight to hang out with some friends, my husband showed up and I got pissed off all over again. I wish I werent so angry. I dont know what to do with myself.

 

[Heather]

I don't know what to say to help but I can relate to how you feel everything seems to go wrong at the same time at some points in our lives which makes things very difficult as in general it is hard enough to cope with the one bad thing let a lone a string.

The only thing that I can say is maybe some kind of thearapy you can talk through your feelings and come up with possible reasons for why you may feel like that, this may just help with giving you some time out and helping with your feelings.

Sorry about the accident and the other stuff you are going through.

Heather...

 

[Heather]

I don't know what to say to help but I can relate to how you feel everything seems to go wrong at the same time at some points in our lives which makes things very difficult as in general it is hard enough to cope with the one bad thing let a lone a string.

The only thing that I can say is maybe some kind of thearapy you can talk through your feelings and come up with possible reasons for why you may feel like that, this may just help with giving you some time out and helping with your feelings.

Sorry about the accident and the other stuff you are going through.

Heather...

 

[David Baxter PhD]

My sense is that you are angry with life at the moment, rather than at your husband specifically, but he triggers anger for you because he is the only concrete target for your anger.

Do you think there might be some truth in that?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

My sense is that you are angry with life at the moment, rather than at your husband specifically, but he triggers anger for you because he is the only concrete target for your anger.

Do you think there might be some truth in that?

 

[siskinator]

Thank you, Heather. Sometimes I get to thinking that my life is turning into some whacked out country song. LOL!

Dr. Baxter, I am probably angry at life. Right now, everything that can go wrong, slowly seems like it is and I feel that i can't stop or have some kind of hand in the situation. Right now, my life feels to me...out of control.

I am happy that my daughters were not involved in the accident and that my husband and I are okay. My husband probably is the only solid target for my anger, I dont know. He blames himself enough as it is. I know I'm not helping any either.