• Quote of the Day
    "For most people, transformation is slow. It happens without you realizing it."
    Marsha Linehan, posted by Daniel

Heather

Member
Joined
Jun 18, 2005
Messages
373
Points
16
Basically I had a flat mate, I moved in with her and we had been best friends for 12 years. Well she was quite difficult to live with, she didn’t pay the bills in particular rent (because she found a boyfriend when she was living with me and he introduced her to drugs), she always needed money and stupidly I gave quite a lot to her. Other things she did was she purposely stuffed up some of my stuff for uni, such as she almost got us kicked out of the place in the middle of one of my pracs (work placements for uni)!!! The list goes on! Well my family actually paid the rent so that we were up to date and we didn’t get kicked out and she promised to have it back to them, well she got a bonus at work and went on a shopping spree, so my mum got the cranks and wrote her a letter asking for the money back (I knew nothing about this), then my flat mate (her name is Opal) went psycho and blamed me and then she moved out and we weren’t talking well I admit that I sent her a few unkind messages via sms but I never called her any names or anything, however I did say that she was selfish and was in the wrong and once I told her that she could get fucked (but this is the worst that I sent, where as she sent some awful stuff, I stuck to the truth in mine. Anyway she was also responsible for my mum’s car being stolen and a lot of damage to the property that I live at, so recently mum sent another letter to her saying well a lot of stuff (because mum wants money out of her, it is nothing to do with me, or what I want), well after that my brother and sister went to her flat (where she lives with her boyfriend) and asked for the keys of my flat back (I knew nothing about this either), well her boyfriend went off at them and threatened them with a baseball bat, well my brother got the cranks and he kicked the door to their security building (not their front door) and in doing so he did smash the glass panel on it, well they then left and the next morning I received a nasty email from her boyfriend threatening an AVO (Apprehended Violence Order) but it said that if I have further contact with them that they would do it, well I haven’t, I have done nothing and not contacted them and then this morning I get a summons to appear in court Tuesday next week, I was meant to be in court last week but I didn’t know (they didn’t tell me), so now I am in trouble because I didn’t appear, but I spoke to the Police and they said that they don’t HAVE to tell me, so how am I meant to know to turn up?

I am so upset you see I am a child care worker and when I finish uni I will be looking for a different job, well I can’t be employed if I have any thing to do with violence on my record, because when they do the Police check on me it will come up and who wants a child care worker who has had an AVO anyway??? And the thing is that I am seriously one of the most gentle people, I don’t get angry, let alone violent!

Luckily I have nothing (not even driving offenses – as I don’t drive, lol) on my record, I am 100% clean!!! Where as Opal is not clean!!!

The other thing is that the letter my mum wrote to Opal mentions my rape in it because I was out that night because of Opal (long story), and this has been handed to the Police and may be used in the case, I feel so sick about this, I knew NOTHING about any of this, believe me I wouldn’t have allowed it if I did!

I dunno what to do :( If my career is taken from me I have nothing, it is my life, I have done 5 years work and study in the area! I don’t want to live if I don’t have my career, it is EVERYTHING to me.

Heather…
 

David Baxter

Administrator
Joined
Mar 26, 2004
Messages
37,958
Points
113
1. they will need to prove that you were aware of and encouraged or approved the actions of your brother or sister or mother in order to register any convictions against you

2. in court, their complaints will be heard but you can also use this as a venue for laying out information about the thefts, etc., as well as the reasons for those thefts (e.g., illegal drug use)

3. get a lawyer to represent your interests - s/he should be able to keep out any information about the rape as not relevant
 

Heather

Member
Joined
Jun 18, 2005
Messages
373
Points
16
Thanks for the reply,

I have managed to get a Lawyer (I was lucky that my brother's bosses wife works for a solicitor) I didn't think that I would get one because it was Saturday today and I have to be in court on Tuesday, but he is actually getting someone else to represent another person to be there for me!!!

I am just so stressed right now!!! Especially as I did nothing!!!

Heather...
 

Heather

Member
Joined
Jun 18, 2005
Messages
373
Points
16
OK I will let you know what happened.

I wanted to be totally prepared so I got 4 very important references, one from the Executive Officer to the Vice-Chancellor at the university I go to, one from a senior lecturer (who is a Dr), a senior minister of a church (and he works with the elderly as well) and a lecturer at a theological college here (and she is also an ex-Captain in Girls’ Brigade – I have taken over her job). They were all really good I didn’t know what the accusations were until I got to court (have since been told that I should have known so I could complain about this). Well ALL she had about me was that I had sent 5 to 13 sms messages to her daily from August to November. Now firstly I can’t afford to do this and during this time I have had a lot going on (such as a death of a friend a 3 week work placement for uni and much much more) so there is no way that this is the case and in fact I have my sms phone records to prove that this is a lie and then she had down my brother and sister went to her house re: the keys, this is ALL she had about me. Anyway her solicitor said what about mediation and so I agreed, but I kind of wish that I didn’t now because I think that her solicitor knew she couldn’t win, she had the free one that the court supplies, I had an external one! Anyway if the mediation doesn’t go my way I am taking her to court because I am pretty sure that I can win now! Pretty much this was it! How pathetic!

The funny thing was that I ended up outside the court room playing with a baby before going in because the babies mother was distressed as her husband was in court. Also I had my mum and brother there with me and I had a Salvation Army Captain come (because I used to work for the Salvation Army), as well as my solicitor, also I had friends and a lecturer offer to come but I told them no, well she (Opal) had no one come at all. So the whole experience was rather pleasant for me!!!

Anyway I have also been having tests on my brain, thus far they have come back saying that there is evidence of trauma and stress but that the areas checked are ok, so this is good, I still have more to go and more to get back though but this is all after Christmas! I am happy about this as well

On top of this I have been asked to do work with new students to the uni, only 4 students out of the whole uni have been asked to do this, and I am one! I have had other opportunities as well, it still seems that as much good happens as good for me right now how bizarre!!!

Anyway I am going to go for now, thanks for all your thoughts, I will keep you updated about this re: mediation etc… if you like.

Heather…
 

Eunoia

Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2005
Messages
785
Points
16
glad things seem to be working out for you, as weird as it is, somehow they always do sooner or later, one way or another, right? you worked hard to get to the point you're at, so you more than deserve all of those good things! and you have a wonderful support system there to help you... hopefully the mediation will continue to go well, in the end, it'd just be nice to have it over with, even if you know you could have won, right? and the job you got sounds so good!! remember how you couldn't go to the trip you wanted to go on? well, I told you, something will come along, and here it is...... so happy for you! :eek:)
 

ThatLady

Member
Joined
Nov 4, 2004
Messages
4,104
Points
36
Sounds like your life has made a positive turn, hon. I'm so very happy for you! :)
 

Heather

Member
Joined
Jun 18, 2005
Messages
373
Points
16
Thanks everyone, I am a lot happier with the way all of this is going now. I just hope the mediation continues to go well, I am sure it will, if it doesn't I am back in court and hopefully will win, sigh, I am a lot happier about this now as I said but I wish I didn't have to waste my time on it all if that makes sense, anyway the mediation is coming up in a few weeks, I am currently away for a Christmas break but will be back home soon.

Heather...
 

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