Ok. I read the help with overeating post below and I must say I relate quite a lot to that situation but mine goes even further. I do overeat as well everyday, all the time, to the point of not being able to sleep or rest or do anything else for that matter because I am always either really full, tired or hungry. I do this everyday as well, wherever I am at when it's time to eat I eat, and get a second plate and a third, sometimes even a fourth. Then when I get home even though I just ate, I eat again and as tired as I am I just eat and eat a lot. All I eat is really very extremely healthy, so I am not fat at all, I look really thin altough my body fat level is not where I want it to (would like to be ripped), but anyway, I know I am eating because I am trying to satisfy a need, either connection with my self or others or because I am tired(no.1 reason for me to overeat) or because I have nothing to do later I hate it and I eat probably to espace from that reality, as oppossed to go out and do something! So I am aware of all this and it is so frustrating but I can't stop it! I can't seem to find reasons strong enough to stop it, but I do feel my life being wasted, people I am not meeting, things I am not doing, books I am not reading, things I am not learning, places I am not going to and so forth... I have tried to interupt the pattern but I ALWAYS get caught up in the daily routine and go back to the same old habits..I really hate it, but I don't know what to do, I guess I don't hate it enough! but it is really honestly and without exagerating taking over my life. I literally go to work everyday and have all this things I want to do after but I am so tired that want to take a nap first so when I get home I ALWAYS overeat no matter what, and if I don't go home I overeat in my car or in the supermarket or wherever but it's always the SAME! It must be a way of feeling certain, of connecting with my self or satisfying the needs that I am not properlty meeting. SO basicly that is what my days are because after overeating I feel worthless or pissed atmy self and that is the end of the day.. can someone help me with some advice?
- Thread starter jorge
- Start date
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
another overeating situation...help please
Are you depriving yourself of foods you like to eat "healthy"? When you binge are you binging on "healthy" foods? And what ARE those healthy foods you are eating?
What is blocking that connection with others, do you think? What is creating that tiredness? When you DO go out, what happens? Do you still eat when you get home?
Think about this: Are those things that you WANT to do or things that you think you SHOULD do or should want to do?
another overeating situation...help please
Thank you for your reply. The healthy foods that I binge on are salads with flax seed oil, vegetables, hummus (tons of them) almond butter, soy products, lots of broccoli. However it is SO much that even that creates discomfort in me, last night I couldn't sleep because I ate dinner 3 times! and the 3 times I eat more than a regular person eats in a day!. Like I said it's more a habit than anything which I haven't been able to change. Well I have been eating this helthy for 6 months now and prior to that I was always seeking the best and healthiest foods that I could for years now. I spend a lot of money in food.Now I am into the foods that I told you but about, 9 months ago I was eating protein like crazy and working out and I remember back then I couldn't sleep well either and I think it was the excess of protein in my body I felt like I never got rest for months! Right now I can't sleep well either because I work at 6 in the morning everyday and during the night I don't sleep well because my body is still processing the foods I eat!, It takes a lot out of me to digest all these food. And on top of that I end up getting so tired after work that I get home and instead of sleeping I eat and then I can't go work out which is one of my priorities because I am full! It is a habit that I MUST break. Let me tell you I dislike my job a lot and I am always telling my self that if I change the way I see it then I will like it so basically I feelresponsible for not liking my job..but when I am off for a few days then I no longer do this nasty things to my self in fact I turn around for those days until I got to go back to work. But of course I can't quit my job because how would I pay the bills?? Another thing is that I have been in this city for 6 months only and that is why I don't have that many friends, I mean I do have frinds and I hang out with them but I don't have the kind of life that I want to that I know I can create, so I get frustrated. But for as long as I have been in the states on my own it's always been the same story so I don't blame the fact that I am sort of "new" to the city for my nasty "thinking" ad "feeling" habits.
About what you said wether it is a should for me, you are totally right..Every weekend I feel the same way, I remember when I didn't have a lot of friends a few years ago that I was in another city I used to feel SO miserable because I felt that I should be enjoying my self out there and that I should be doing certain things and so forth and so I turned to overating to espcape those thoghts I guess... And I sitll do! but this time it is to escape the stress from work, the pressure I put my self because I KNOW that I have to work the next day so I am already stressed out, and also because I should be out there having a blast instead of here overeating etc etc. SO yeah you are right in what you thought but how can I change all these mental patterns and rules and pressures that I put in my self??
About my tiredness like I said it is mostly the fact that I don't sleep well, and that is due to a lot of things one of them being that I overeat and my body takes a while to digest the foods and so I wake up in the morning feeling like @#$$%. One other thing is the thought of knowing that I got to wake up and the stress. Another is the overall disatisfaction within my mind, beacuse I remember before I came here I also have had trouble sleeping I even took pills about a year ago and the lack of sleep was also related to the stress of having to work the next day and all those patterns of thinking that I had and it was a totally different job! with totally diferent people! and it was not bad but I still didn't like it! why? I don't know, I am always thinking to my self that people that are work with are so negative and ithat it affects me.. Anyway, the connection with others is not so much of a problem nowadays It used to be a big issue for me a while ago when I first came to the States I didn't know anyone but I came here to escape my life in my country which was all messed up but I have definetly advanced a LOT in my phsicology since then. The only problem I still have now that I had back then is when trying to create a reationship with a woman. I just always uncousoisly think that I am not good enough and so I avoid any romantic moments. There have been chances, women that reallylike me and it happens often that instead of me going for it I just pretend I am not interested and so forth..you see?
Finally let m tell you that I have read a lot of books and have been to seminars of self improvement and have advanced quite a lot from the way I used to be since I was a teenager, I never seemed to be having so much problems but inside I was always messed up and pretending to be soimeone else. Since then I have had highs and lows and I always get overcome them in one way or another but I am also always finding my self comiung back to the same place, and having to start all over again. I move a lot form place to place. This last time I moved I did it with the tought that I could achieve much more than I was where I was and moved down here thinking that there are more chances for me to take in this city so I packed my things and moved on my own and didn't have a job nor a place. It took me a week to find both, but since then I have moved 3 times and chaged jobs once, and it's been 6 months. But I can tell you that I have been able to overcome a lot of @#$% in my life and I am only 23.. but sometimes I get so frustrated because at 20 my dad already had my sister and me and his own company... and because my peers from my childhood got great jobs and a great life and I am here struggling and not even enjoying! SO that is a bit of my story, If you met me you wouldn't think there's anything wrong with me but the truth is that I have too many rules in my mind and patterns and toughts of not being good enough..
Thank you for your reply. The healthy foods that I binge on are salads with flax seed oil, vegetables, hummus (tons of them) almond butter, soy products, lots of broccoli. However it is SO much that even that creates discomfort in me, last night I couldn't sleep because I ate dinner 3 times! and the 3 times I eat more than a regular person eats in a day!. Like I said it's more a habit than anything which I haven't been able to change. Well I have been eating this helthy for 6 months now and prior to that I was always seeking the best and healthiest foods that I could for years now. I spend a lot of money in food.Now I am into the foods that I told you but about, 9 months ago I was eating protein like crazy and working out and I remember back then I couldn't sleep well either and I think it was the excess of protein in my body I felt like I never got rest for months! Right now I can't sleep well either because I work at 6 in the morning everyday and during the night I don't sleep well because my body is still processing the foods I eat!, It takes a lot out of me to digest all these food. And on top of that I end up getting so tired after work that I get home and instead of sleeping I eat and then I can't go work out which is one of my priorities because I am full! It is a habit that I MUST break. Let me tell you I dislike my job a lot and I am always telling my self that if I change the way I see it then I will like it so basically I feelresponsible for not liking my job..but when I am off for a few days then I no longer do this nasty things to my self in fact I turn around for those days until I got to go back to work. But of course I can't quit my job because how would I pay the bills?? Another thing is that I have been in this city for 6 months only and that is why I don't have that many friends, I mean I do have frinds and I hang out with them but I don't have the kind of life that I want to that I know I can create, so I get frustrated. But for as long as I have been in the states on my own it's always been the same story so I don't blame the fact that I am sort of "new" to the city for my nasty "thinking" ad "feeling" habits.
About what you said wether it is a should for me, you are totally right..Every weekend I feel the same way, I remember when I didn't have a lot of friends a few years ago that I was in another city I used to feel SO miserable because I felt that I should be enjoying my self out there and that I should be doing certain things and so forth and so I turned to overating to espcape those thoghts I guess... And I sitll do! but this time it is to escape the stress from work, the pressure I put my self because I KNOW that I have to work the next day so I am already stressed out, and also because I should be out there having a blast instead of here overeating etc etc. SO yeah you are right in what you thought but how can I change all these mental patterns and rules and pressures that I put in my self??
About my tiredness like I said it is mostly the fact that I don't sleep well, and that is due to a lot of things one of them being that I overeat and my body takes a while to digest the foods and so I wake up in the morning feeling like @#$$%. One other thing is the thought of knowing that I got to wake up and the stress. Another is the overall disatisfaction within my mind, beacuse I remember before I came here I also have had trouble sleeping I even took pills about a year ago and the lack of sleep was also related to the stress of having to work the next day and all those patterns of thinking that I had and it was a totally different job! with totally diferent people! and it was not bad but I still didn't like it! why? I don't know, I am always thinking to my self that people that are work with are so negative and ithat it affects me.. Anyway, the connection with others is not so much of a problem nowadays It used to be a big issue for me a while ago when I first came to the States I didn't know anyone but I came here to escape my life in my country which was all messed up but I have definetly advanced a LOT in my phsicology since then. The only problem I still have now that I had back then is when trying to create a reationship with a woman. I just always uncousoisly think that I am not good enough and so I avoid any romantic moments. There have been chances, women that reallylike me and it happens often that instead of me going for it I just pretend I am not interested and so forth..you see?
Finally let m tell you that I have read a lot of books and have been to seminars of self improvement and have advanced quite a lot from the way I used to be since I was a teenager, I never seemed to be having so much problems but inside I was always messed up and pretending to be soimeone else. Since then I have had highs and lows and I always get overcome them in one way or another but I am also always finding my self comiung back to the same place, and having to start all over again. I move a lot form place to place. This last time I moved I did it with the tought that I could achieve much more than I was where I was and moved down here thinking that there are more chances for me to take in this city so I packed my things and moved on my own and didn't have a job nor a place. It took me a week to find both, but since then I have moved 3 times and chaged jobs once, and it's been 6 months. But I can tell you that I have been able to overcome a lot of @#$% in my life and I am only 23.. but sometimes I get so frustrated because at 20 my dad already had my sister and me and his own company... and because my peers from my childhood got great jobs and a great life and I am here struggling and not even enjoying! SO that is a bit of my story, If you met me you wouldn't think there's anything wrong with me but the truth is that I have too many rules in my mind and patterns and toughts of not being good enough..
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
another overeating situation...help please
Another part may be related to feelings and thoughts that you are avoiding (or trying to avoid) when you eat. Tauri Hall talks about how binge eating is a metaphor for stuffing feelings back down inside you when they try to come up -- stuffing them down with food. Sometimes, identifying what those feelings are and then taking steps to find better ways of addressing and expressing them can help you to change the eating patterns. Most people will find this difficult to do on their own, without the help of a therapist.
Another part of the puzzle is often related to control -- the need for it and the feeling that you don't have it. When the world around you seems uncertain and unpredictable and uncontrollable, controlling what you put into your body (or prevent putting into your body) may be the only way you can feel that you do have control over something in your life. Again, it may be difficult for you to see this without some therapeutic assistance because you are so close to the problem and limited in your ability to be objective.
And another part is almost certainly your self-concept -- unrealistic expectations, fears about other people, feeling you need to be somebody other than yourself when you are around other people, etc.
I would say that is probably an excellent summary of part of the problem.jorge said:
Another part may be related to feelings and thoughts that you are avoiding (or trying to avoid) when you eat. Tauri Hall talks about how binge eating is a metaphor for stuffing feelings back down inside you when they try to come up -- stuffing them down with food. Sometimes, identifying what those feelings are and then taking steps to find better ways of addressing and expressing them can help you to change the eating patterns. Most people will find this difficult to do on their own, without the help of a therapist.
Another part of the puzzle is often related to control -- the need for it and the feeling that you don't have it. When the world around you seems uncertain and unpredictable and uncontrollable, controlling what you put into your body (or prevent putting into your body) may be the only way you can feel that you do have control over something in your life. Again, it may be difficult for you to see this without some therapeutic assistance because you are so close to the problem and limited in your ability to be objective.
And another part is almost certainly your self-concept -- unrealistic expectations, fears about other people, feeling you need to be somebody other than yourself when you are around other people, etc.
another overeating situation...help please
A very minor point....Many vegetarians use supplements like Bean-O to prevent bloating and discomfort or simply limit intake of gassy foods like brocolli, which is right up there with beans for creating gas-related discomfort. As a vegetarian, one of the last things I would binge on would be brocolli.
A very minor point....Many vegetarians use supplements like Bean-O to prevent bloating and discomfort or simply limit intake of gassy foods like brocolli, which is right up there with beans for creating gas-related discomfort. As a vegetarian, one of the last things I would binge on would be brocolli.
another overeating situation...help please
Ok. You are probably right, with the exception of the unrealistic expectations which I don't agree with. But all the other areas that you mentioned are true. And with that said what actions would you recomend me to take? I want to stop fearing other people and start being my self around others etc. How can I start or what are some steps or reccomendations you would give me? I do agree also with what you said about the need for control or certainty that I have and that is pretty much very true. I think I can deal with that through other forms of controlling my life like excersice or I don't know something. And yes I do think I stuffed my feelings down with food, just like alcoholics do it with alcohol and druggies with drugs, I chose food. I assume that as soon as I break though my fears and meet my needs in different ways that will no longer be a problem, I could think of occasions when my life was fine but then as soon as stress comes along I start turning into food. I'll have to learn to manage my stress in a different way.. I apreciate very much your toughts on my case and I would ask you again for your advice in the issue of being my self and stop being so affraid to be hurt and rejected, to accept my self and to be worthy and deserving...How can I make those changes in me? Theraphy is great but it takes a while, are there any other forms of excersices, affirmations, mmm or anything else that you would reccomend? THANK YOU.
Ok. You are probably right, with the exception of the unrealistic expectations which I don't agree with. But all the other areas that you mentioned are true. And with that said what actions would you recomend me to take? I want to stop fearing other people and start being my self around others etc. How can I start or what are some steps or reccomendations you would give me? I do agree also with what you said about the need for control or certainty that I have and that is pretty much very true. I think I can deal with that through other forms of controlling my life like excersice or I don't know something. And yes I do think I stuffed my feelings down with food, just like alcoholics do it with alcohol and druggies with drugs, I chose food. I assume that as soon as I break though my fears and meet my needs in different ways that will no longer be a problem, I could think of occasions when my life was fine but then as soon as stress comes along I start turning into food. I'll have to learn to manage my stress in a different way.. I apreciate very much your toughts on my case and I would ask you again for your advice in the issue of being my self and stop being so affraid to be hurt and rejected, to accept my self and to be worthy and deserving...How can I make those changes in me? Theraphy is great but it takes a while, are there any other forms of excersices, affirmations, mmm or anything else that you would reccomend? THANK YOU.
another overeating situation...help please
Exercise is a great idea. Exercise is really a 3-for-1 or 4-for-1 deal since it helps stress, food cravings, depression, overall health, etc. You may want to get a pedometer if you don't have one. At Walmart in the US, they are only $3 or so.
In addition to therapy, you can always try antidpressants, of course, since serotonin is a factor in food cravings and stress-related eating.
Exercise is a great idea. Exercise is really a 3-for-1 or 4-for-1 deal since it helps stress, food cravings, depression, overall health, etc. You may want to get a pedometer if you don't have one. At Walmart in the US, they are only $3 or so.
In addition to therapy, you can always try antidpressants, of course, since serotonin is a factor in food cravings and stress-related eating.
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
another overeating situation...help please
There's another kind of exercise you might find helpful: Try doing some of the "insight" exercises in this thread: http://www.psychlinks.ca/phpbb/viewforum.php?f=66, especially the insight into self-concept and feelings exercises and the threads on distorted thinking and cognitive behavior therapy.
There's another kind of exercise you might find helpful: Try doing some of the "insight" exercises in this thread: http://www.psychlinks.ca/phpbb/viewforum.php?f=66, especially the insight into self-concept and feelings exercises and the threads on distorted thinking and cognitive behavior therapy.
another overeating situation...help please
Though I don't want to encourage comparisons (If you compare, beware), the new age of adulthood is now seen to be something like 26 years old instead of 18 or 21:
Though I don't want to encourage comparisons (If you compare, beware), the new age of adulthood is now seen to be something like 26 years old instead of 18 or 21:
another overeating situation...help please
Hey guys!
Thank you for all your advices. Well my friends came over to visit and as I toought, everything changed, I did eat a lot at lunch time etc but I really didn't eat all the time at all nor did I feel overwhelmed or guilty afterwards and we went out and had a great time and met people and so forth, I even remembered what my purpose was here and all but.... As soon as they left I find my self in the same place again, overeating. I then assume that I am definetely meeting other needs through food. Because when I eat I feel safe or good it's like you said I feel in control. So I am trying to get rid of all these nasty habits. Like I said any advices and support would be much apreciated, thanks!
Hey guys!
Thank you for all your advices. Well my friends came over to visit and as I toought, everything changed, I did eat a lot at lunch time etc but I really didn't eat all the time at all nor did I feel overwhelmed or guilty afterwards and we went out and had a great time and met people and so forth, I even remembered what my purpose was here and all but.... As soon as they left I find my self in the same place again, overeating. I then assume that I am definetely meeting other needs through food. Because when I eat I feel safe or good it's like you said I feel in control. So I am trying to get rid of all these nasty habits. Like I said any advices and support would be much apreciated, thanks!
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
another overeating situation...help please
Interestingly, that's not far off the time the frontal lobes finish developing in humans.
In Elizabethan times, an individual was not considered to be sufficiently mature to handle a position of responsibility until age 30.Daniel said:
Interestingly, that's not far off the time the frontal lobes finish developing in humans.
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
another overeating situation...help please
jorge, did you feel unsafe, not in control, or otherwise uncomfortable when you were with your friends?
jorge, did you feel unsafe, not in control, or otherwise uncomfortable when you were with your friends?
another overeating situation...help please
Self-help books on overeating such as The Hunger Within and The End of Diets: Healing Emotional Hunger say that many people who have problems overeating will not overeat when they are with others. Feeling more calm and happy in social situations is one positive reason. On the flip side, there is the desire to adhere to social protocols and the desire to hide one's addictions/compulsions from oneself and others.
When I experienced episodes of emotional overeating, I didn't realize how much of an unconscious daze I was in until I was able to resume normal eating habits. For example, every few days I would get Chinese takeout, and eat the whole thing, which would give me digestion problems. Each time, I would tell myself that this time would be different.
Therapy, of course, can help in ways that self-help alone cannot since we can easily hide things from ourselves or simply forget insights we had before.
Related:
Cyberguide to Stop Overeating and Recover from Eating Disorders
Emotional Eating Resources - About.com
Eating Disorders - PsychLinks
Self-help books on overeating such as The Hunger Within and The End of Diets: Healing Emotional Hunger say that many people who have problems overeating will not overeat when they are with others. Feeling more calm and happy in social situations is one positive reason. On the flip side, there is the desire to adhere to social protocols and the desire to hide one's addictions/compulsions from oneself and others.
When I experienced episodes of emotional overeating, I didn't realize how much of an unconscious daze I was in until I was able to resume normal eating habits. For example, every few days I would get Chinese takeout, and eat the whole thing, which would give me digestion problems. Each time, I would tell myself that this time would be different.
Therapy, of course, can help in ways that self-help alone cannot since we can easily hide things from ourselves or simply forget insights we had before.
Related:
Cyberguide to Stop Overeating and Recover from Eating Disorders
Emotional Eating Resources - About.com
Eating Disorders - PsychLinks
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