Anxiety out of the roof

[AmZ]

Hi everyone,

I'm trying to understand why my anxiety was so bad when I left the hospital this weekend. I haven't had any changes in medications or suchlike, so can only put it down to something else psychologically.

I've been in hospital for 9 months now and have left on most weeks to either go and stay at my sister's for the weekend or run some errands.

For the last week and a half I have been feeling tons better, the best that I have felt since a few months back.

2 weeks ago I had bad dissociation like I've never had before. I haven't experienced it since.

Instead it was pure anxiety, a panic attack on the bus (heart pounding, sweating, tingling under my skin and feelings like I was going to pass out) and general anxiety at my sister's such as heart palpitations and jumpiness.

So I was feeling better anxiety and depression-wise before leaving the hospital, but as soon as I left, the 'pure' anxiety set in.

As usually happens with me, the depression leads on from the anxiety and then I find myself feeling both anxious and depressed, and the depressed side of things are not good either. I went back to my apartment after leaving my sister's as I needed to pick up some winter clothes, I found myself in my apartment with extreme urges to self-harm. Luckily I controlled it and didn't do anything but it was pretty intense.

Now a couple of days later, I'm still feeling pretty down. I'm trying to pull myself out of it and telling myself not to be so hard on myself for what happened... I guess I am just scared and frustrated more than anything.

Thanks.

 

[Daniel E.]

I'm trying to understand why my anxiety was so bad...

Anxiety is not necessarily as problematic as it may seem. Often if not usually, the long-term issue is more about low tolerance/acceptance of anxiety.

In Burns' books, he talks about the acceptance paradox:

Although one purpose of the therapy is to help you change your negative feelings, a second and somewhat contradictory goal is to help you accept your negative feelings. I call this the "Acceptance Paradox"...The essential message is that you cannot overcome your negative feelings until you have first learned to accept them.

If you think you must not feel anxious or upset and you believe you should be happy and in control all the time, you may be creating extra grief for yourself because no one really can feel happy, loving, and confident all the time...

When you feel anxious or panicky, you may make matters worse by insisting that you shouldn't feel this way. This is like throwing gasoline on a fire, and your anxiety gets worse.

Amazon.com: The Feeling Good Handbook (9780452281325): David D. Burns: Books

 

[AmZ]

Thanks Daniel. I'll have to get the Feeling Good book from my apartment, I've read it once but think it could be helpful now more so.

Luckily my anxiety has lessened but I'm feeling pretty down. I had a session with the therapist here yesterday and she linked a dream to my childhood and lots of negatives came up, it really affected me. I cried and the therapist welled up with tears and still 24 hours later, I'm feeling sucky.

---------- Post added at 06:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:13 PM ----------

Looks like it's my battle time here at the hospital.

I've been on Clonazepam for a few months. I was on 0.5mg x 3 a day and for the last month have been on 0.5mg once a day. I don't think it helps me and I have no anxiety in the mornings in the hospital so I asked to come off of it. This was a few weeks back and a couple of weeks ago I stopped taking the 0.5mg dosage. I had withdrawal side effects from it so went back on the 0.5mg. Last week I asked my psychiatrist again to come off of it and she said OK, we will need to now half and quarter the tablets and taper off of it. Fine. She said she'd write it in on my medication sheet to start taking 0.25mg straight away. A week later, that hasn't been done. I just bumped in to her and reminded her and she said that she doesn't want for me to come off of it!!!!! So I said, at least to half it (0.25mg is tiny!) and she said OK.

I want to have trust in her and the system but sometimes things are weird!

How long should I take the 0.25mg for roughly before I go back to her and ask her to make further adjustments?
(I am not going against the hospital here, just asking what is a good time frame to be on the 0.25mg for and then go back to my psychiatrist).

Thanks.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Looks like it's my battle time here at the hospital.

I've been on Clonazepam for a few months. I was on 0.5mg x 3 a day and for the last month have been on 0.5mg once a day. I don't think it helps me and I have no anxiety in the mornings in the hospital so I asked to come off of it. This was a few weeks back and a couple of weeks ago I stopped taking the 0.5mg dosage. I had withdrawal side effects from it so went back on the 0.5mg. Last week I asked my psychiatrist again to come off of it and she said OK, we will need to now half and quarter the tablets and taper off of it. Fine. She said she'd write it in on my medication sheet to start taking 0.25mg straight away. A week later, that hasn't been done. I just bumped in to her and reminded her and she said that she doesn't want for me to come off of it!!!!! So I said, at least to half it (0.25mg is tiny!) and she said OK.

I want to have trust in her and the system but sometimes things are weird!

How long should I take the 0.25mg for roughly before I go back to her and ask her to make further adjustments?
(I am not going against the hospital here, just asking what is a good time frame to be on the 0.25mg for and then go back to my psychiatrist).

Really, AmZ.... the title of this thread is "Anxiety through the roof" and that describes what you have experienced repeatedly. And here you are trying to tell the doctor how best to provide medication for anxiety? And then in a couple of days when you're anxiety spikes again, are you going to be posting here again wondering why?

I've said this before: You are your own worst enemy. They are doctors. Trained in medicine and psychiatry. They know what they're doing. And to be blunt, you don't.

Your doctors are the experts here. Listen to them.

 

[AmZ]

It was only when I left the hospital.

When I am in the hospital I am calm.

If I decrease and/or come off of the Clonazepam and my anxiety comes back, in the worst case, I'll just go back on the Clonazepam.

I really don't think that it helps me and I don't want to take medications unnecessarily. When I had the panic attack on the bus, it was 2 hours after I'd taken the med.

 

[Daniel E.]

BTW:

Clonazepam is a nontoxic agent, posing negligible risks to liver, kidney, lung, and other organs; frequent or special blood tests are not required; there are no particular concerns about long-term treatment...

Sleep: A Groundbreaking Guide to the ... - Carlos H. Schenck - Google Books