Lonewolf
Member
I will do it!! Am just very alone with it!! I haven't spoken to anyone else close to me because of the reactions I have already had!! Very few people know what's going on for me!!
- Thread starter Lonewolf
- Start date
I understand that.I have been going through a lot of stuff myself lately that I feel alone in,with not many people I can talk to about them in real life.Sometimes it's better to not talk to the ones you already know will end up causing more stress and problems.That's why I talk about those things here at Psychlinks,where I know I won't be judged,glad you are too.
There are better people out there for you hun than these ones who are thinking only about what THEY want and how THEY feel.
You are on a path towards better things LW and you have mentioned at other times that you have been able to have counselling, therapy and things to improve your self-worth and stuff like that.
Just continue on this good path LW and talk to us anytime about snags and roadblocks or when you don't know the next step, or about anything at all anytime. If you just keep on this path, you will learn how to find more stable people who think of you also rather than only of themselves, (that could be a really important topic to go into quite a lot in therapy or counselling when you have a chance), and you will also get better and better at handling the different situations that may come up with interactions and choosing who to trust and who to get close to and things like that.
In the meantime (well, and beyond of course), you can consider us friends who care about you LW. You can definitely talk to us and have a connection with us here which will be supportive for you.
Hang in there OK and keep talking about whatever you wish... and keep in mind self-care tools and coping tools that you may have learned along the way......
You are on a path towards better things LW and you have mentioned at other times that you have been able to have counselling, therapy and things to improve your self-worth and stuff like that.
Just continue on this good path LW and talk to us anytime about snags and roadblocks or when you don't know the next step, or about anything at all anytime. If you just keep on this path, you will learn how to find more stable people who think of you also rather than only of themselves, (that could be a really important topic to go into quite a lot in therapy or counselling when you have a chance), and you will also get better and better at handling the different situations that may come up with interactions and choosing who to trust and who to get close to and things like that.
In the meantime (well, and beyond of course), you can consider us friends who care about you LW. You can definitely talk to us and have a connection with us here which will be supportive for you.
Hang in there OK and keep talking about whatever you wish... and keep in mind self-care tools and coping tools that you may have learned along the way......
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forgetmenot
MVP
Listen to You OK your wishes your needs and block out all others words or thought. The decision is yours and with support of your health team you will do well, You. Know what is best for you and proud of you for getting professionals to hear you
Lonewolf
Member
I hope it's ok to say this here!! I'm close to screaming right now, but don't feel able to talk about it in case I jeopardise my operation!! I need to be level headed and at least appear to be coping!! I just feel overwhelmed with everything and I have no way of releasing it without messing everything up!! I hate this time of year, I hate people who pretend to be my friend and most of all, I hate being stuck!! AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! Sorry, I didn't know where else to go that safe enough!!
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forgetmenot
MVP
Glad you feel safe here to let your anxiety out some
Yeah, good that there is a place to let things out LW.
My thoughts are with you and I know you can get through this.... I know you will keep moving towards good things and will learn as you go. You have accomplished excellent things already and I believe in you.
Keep us updated or chat anytime....
Hugs....
My thoughts are with you and I know you can get through this.... I know you will keep moving towards good things and will learn as you go. You have accomplished excellent things already and I believe in you.
Keep us updated or chat anytime....
Hugs....
Lonewolf
Member
Thanks for being so understanding!! I still struggle with all the different emotions that I face every day!! I am too scared to talk to anyone I case it affects my operation!! I have been working hard on not reacting impulsively as I have done in the past, sometimes it's exhausting!! I feel that I have no choice but to keep struggling with this!! I have been asked on several occasions how I would feel to have the womb removed and the only conclusion I can come to, is that I have never really felt like a woman and it's made me feel very vulnerable all my life!! It will be a huge relief to get rid of it!! I hope that as well as getting rid of it, it will rid me of many of the issues the abuse has caused me!!
Who knows... it is not an area that I am very knowledgeable about, but still after it is gone things will be easier since you won't have to worry about anything else affecting the operation happening, so you can talk more freely again.
As long as you are sure about having it done, then at least you can know that you can talk again then more freely.
Remember too I guess that phonelines and things like that do not know who you are and can't affect your operation. So along with us here, keep in mind if you are struggling there could be those options too.....
As long as you are sure about having it done, then at least you can know that you can talk again then more freely.
Remember too I guess that phonelines and things like that do not know who you are and can't affect your operation. So along with us here, keep in mind if you are struggling there could be those options too.....
Lonewolf
Member
Hi!! I recieved the letter i have been waiting for!! The date for my operation!! 20th January!! Its very soon too!! I cant believe it is actually going to happen!! I have lots of mixed emotions!! If anyone has got A minute or two later please could i have A chat about it?
Sure, feel free to talk!
(I found these for you too LW in case you have any unsure moments and need to be connected to someone more knowledgeable:
gendertrust.org.uk
The Beaumont Society | Help and support for the transgendered community
...
gendertrust.org.uk
The Beaumont Society | Help and support for the transgendered community
...
Lonewolf
Member
Thanks lol!! I can't quite believe that this is actually going to happen!! Very soon too!! 20th of this month!! I don't understand why I feel frightened but I also feel relieved!! Is it ok to be looking forward to getting it done or is that weird? Is it ok to be scared even though this is what I've wanted for years?
Nah, big changes just are really weird and scary. They just are.
(As long as you are sure it is what you want, though. As far as I know, you can't get that stuff back once it's gone...?)
Lonewolf
Member
This is what I have wanted since I was 17 years old!! It all feels like a dream, that someone has taken me seriously and is willing to help me!! It's amazing!! I am full of lots of emotions about it!! Some good, some not so good and I still have some that I still don't identify with!! Here's to new beginnings!!
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Is it something that is ok to look forward to? Or is that weird?
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Is it something that is ok to look forward to? Or is that weird?
Hmm, but maybe it's like.... could it be a strange weird feeling of apprehensive weirdness and distrust, like as in a disbelief that somebody is actually *listening to you* and *giving you a thing that you want*? Like a weird expectation that something will go terribly wrong or it won't be real or something.
Just one of those weird things like that where you expect to be let down or forgotten or betrayed or something, because you've been treated like that, maybe?
Just one of those weird things like that where you expect to be let down or forgotten or betrayed or something, because you've been treated like that, maybe?
Lonewolf
Member
I guess it is a bit like that!! I am still expecting something to go wrong!! As it has in the past!! I need to try to be more positive about this!! Just nervous I suppose!!
Yeah, it's quite normal to be nervous before a big operation I think.
I think what helps many people is the experience of having gotten treatments or procedures etc from doctors many times, or knowing of others having things done, and hence knowing that the very usual, typical thing is just a successful, problem-free procedure. Knowing how routine and run of the mill it all is, sort of thing. Knowing this is their job and they are talented people and they have done it lots of times. They just wanna get on with it, get it done, and have another successful finished procedure under their belt. And get paid!
Maybe knowing you are just another person on a list and you are not going to be singled out for any mistreatment. Knowing you are nothing out of the ordinary, (as there would be many seeking it for a similar reason to you) and you are 'just another person on a list' is actually sometimes a good thing, I guess!
Sometimes repetitive affirmations of the reasonable thoughts help. For example, "There is no reason to think anything will go wrong. It will much much more likely be fine. Even if there is some issue, they simply solve it or address it." Some people find speaking or writing them helps.
Thinking of you LW... Yep, you will do well and it will be over before you know it.
But post more if you want to ask other questions or anything or just yell "BLAAAARGHHHH!!!!!!" or something. 😉 Actually that image you posted, yeah that was very expressive. Hmm, finding images that express yourself, that could really help lots of people I think. I noticed in the emoji thread actually, how cathartic it was to find the "right" emojis or smileys in the lists, coming across the little words or faces that express something just right. Strange isn't it!
I think what helps many people is the experience of having gotten treatments or procedures etc from doctors many times, or knowing of others having things done, and hence knowing that the very usual, typical thing is just a successful, problem-free procedure. Knowing how routine and run of the mill it all is, sort of thing. Knowing this is their job and they are talented people and they have done it lots of times. They just wanna get on with it, get it done, and have another successful finished procedure under their belt. And get paid!
Maybe knowing you are just another person on a list and you are not going to be singled out for any mistreatment. Knowing you are nothing out of the ordinary, (as there would be many seeking it for a similar reason to you) and you are 'just another person on a list' is actually sometimes a good thing, I guess!
Sometimes repetitive affirmations of the reasonable thoughts help. For example, "There is no reason to think anything will go wrong. It will much much more likely be fine. Even if there is some issue, they simply solve it or address it." Some people find speaking or writing them helps.
Thinking of you LW... Yep, you will do well and it will be over before you know it.
But post more if you want to ask other questions or anything or just yell "BLAAAARGHHHH!!!!!!" or something. 😉 Actually that image you posted, yeah that was very expressive. Hmm, finding images that express yourself, that could really help lots of people I think. I noticed in the emoji thread actually, how cathartic it was to find the "right" emojis or smileys in the lists, coming across the little words or faces that express something just right. Strange isn't it!
Lonewolf
Member
I'm not so worried about the actual operation!! I am worried that something might stop them proceeding with it!! Has taken years to convince them to do it, it's in reach now and I am nervous someone will put a spanner in the works now that it's happening!! Feels too good to be true!!
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