I would have to agree, sixty minutes is pushing it for me and its a fifty minute hour so fifty minutes and I'm exhausted. I feel like I bore my psychologist and I would not know how to fill the remainder of the time. As it is, I already feel like we have the same conversation over and over and she is wondering when I will get it together. I know she isn't thinking that, but that's how I feel sometimes. I am sure I have gone over occasionally but not often.
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David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
I doubt you are boring her... 
positivethoughts
Member
I personally need that extra time....It was something that we agreed to do.
My therapist either schedules me as the first appointment that way the appointment ends on the hour or the appointment before lunch time so that there is time at the end of the session for the extra time.
I guess like anything, it depends on the therapist, if they are willing to grant you that extra time for a session.
As I said, for myself it makes the session more productive because of the way I need to express myself during the therapy session.
I feel like I need to defend my therapist for chosing to do this with me....I know that not all clients get a 90 mins session. I just know that it works for me and she is willing to grant me this service. I appreciate this very much and I do know that I do disrupt her schedule at times and that she does start earlier on the days I have the first appointment with her.
My therapist either schedules me as the first appointment that way the appointment ends on the hour or the appointment before lunch time so that there is time at the end of the session for the extra time.
I guess like anything, it depends on the therapist, if they are willing to grant you that extra time for a session.
As I said, for myself it makes the session more productive because of the way I need to express myself during the therapy session.
I feel like I need to defend my therapist for chosing to do this with me....I know that not all clients get a 90 mins session. I just know that it works for me and she is willing to grant me this service. I appreciate this very much and I do know that I do disrupt her schedule at times and that she does start earlier on the days I have the first appointment with her.
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
No, absolutely not. You don't need to defend her and she doesn't need to defend herself. I know that some therapists do this and I know that some clients may need this. My intent was simply to point out that this is an individual thing that you work out with your therapist and that it doesn't work for all clients or all therapists.
There have been times that I have wanted,and have asked,for sessions to end early because I was just too overwhelmed and anxious.And then there's been times I would have liked to stay longer,but haven't asked.I don't mind leaving early,but I don't feel comfortable asking for more time.
If I need time to pull myself together before leaving,I sit in the waiting room for awhile.
I don't like that there could be clients that get longer sessions scheduled.And I didn't like it at all when my regular time was given to someone else without an explanation.It made me feel like they were more important than me and I spent a couple of sessions after that wanting to know why. And since he couldn't talk about another client and I wasn't given a good enough reason,I still think about it and feel 'less than' at times.
If I need time to pull myself together before leaving,I sit in the waiting room for awhile.
I don't like that there could be clients that get longer sessions scheduled.And I didn't like it at all when my regular time was given to someone else without an explanation.It made me feel like they were more important than me and I spent a couple of sessions after that wanting to know why. And since he couldn't talk about another client and I wasn't given a good enough reason,I still think about it and feel 'less than' at times.
positivethoughts
Member
LIT
I just wanted to share that you could asked for a longer session....I did not mean to make you feel "less than". I can see your view point. I want you to know that you are not "less than" because people have a different lenght for thier sessions.
I also get upset when my regular time is moved because I like the consistancy or when I am unable to get an appointment in what I see as an emergency.... she does this to help me understand that I need to learn to be flexible and that change happens; also that change can be good.
I think it is about the indivdual and what they need and about the therapist an individual sees.
I have been to other therapist and in hospital program.....when your time is up it is up.
Dr.Baxter,
I know that each therapist has thier own way of schedualing and working with clients...It is a good thing to because we are all individuals and have different needs... as an individuals one method may work better for a person than for someone else. I believe that this is the same for therapist; certain therapist I work better with than other therapist.
My first therapist did not do phone calls. I had to wait for my scheduled sessions to work through a crisis...I was suprised/shocked when I switch therapist to find out that I could make calls during a crisis and the phone calls would be return. I was even encourage to do this, it help my therapist keep track of my moods (the high and low).
Another therapist I had reminded me of my father. I worked with this therapist to get pass this issue. I was not able to, so I changed therapist.
I believe it comes down to the individuals and the therapist they use.
I just wanted to share that you could asked for a longer session....I did not mean to make you feel "less than". I can see your view point. I want you to know that you are not "less than" because people have a different lenght for thier sessions.
I also get upset when my regular time is moved because I like the consistancy or when I am unable to get an appointment in what I see as an emergency.... she does this to help me understand that I need to learn to be flexible and that change happens; also that change can be good.
I think it is about the indivdual and what they need and about the therapist an individual sees.
I have been to other therapist and in hospital program.....when your time is up it is up.
Dr.Baxter,
I know that each therapist has thier own way of schedualing and working with clients...It is a good thing to because we are all individuals and have different needs... as an individuals one method may work better for a person than for someone else. I believe that this is the same for therapist; certain therapist I work better with than other therapist.
My first therapist did not do phone calls. I had to wait for my scheduled sessions to work through a crisis...I was suprised/shocked when I switch therapist to find out that I could make calls during a crisis and the phone calls would be return. I was even encourage to do this, it help my therapist keep track of my moods (the high and low).
Another therapist I had reminded me of my father. I worked with this therapist to get pass this issue. I was not able to, so I changed therapist.
I believe it comes down to the individuals and the therapist they use.
Sorry if you thought I meant you when I said
As I was typing,I started thinking that other people may be scheduled for longer sessions with my therapist,and didn't like that. No worries,you didn't make me feel 'less than'.
LIT,
I think it would be okay to ask your therapist, as generally as possible... Like: "I was wondering if you sometimes went longer than an hour with some clients, and if you do, do you think sometime we can schedule a longer session for me?" would probably acceptable to ask.
I suspect that as long as you don't ask why specifically: "Who or which clients are having longer sessions with you and why?" Obviously a therapist couldn't answer that.
One question is just showing your therapist that you are interested in having longer sessions. It might be good for the therapist to know this. He might not know otherwise, that you want more time, right? And how will you know unless you ask? The other question, of course, is much too specific and would be a breach of privacy between the therapist and other clients.
I think it would be okay to ask your therapist, as generally as possible... Like: "I was wondering if you sometimes went longer than an hour with some clients, and if you do, do you think sometime we can schedule a longer session for me?" would probably acceptable to ask.
I suspect that as long as you don't ask why specifically: "Who or which clients are having longer sessions with you and why?" Obviously a therapist couldn't answer that.
One question is just showing your therapist that you are interested in having longer sessions. It might be good for the therapist to know this. He might not know otherwise, that you want more time, right? And how will you know unless you ask?
The other question, of course, is much too specific and would be a breach of privacy between the therapist and other clients.It's not that I want longer sessions on specific dates or anything. Sometimes when I am in there,I have so much more I want/need to say,because I am really upset or anxious. I don't think I could/would ever ask to stay longer those times because I wouldn't want to make someone in the waiting room wait longer.And I wouldn't want to mess up my therapists schedule either.If I put him behind,that's going to put him behind the rest of the day.And the times he has asked if I need more time,I have always said no. For the same reasons.
Plus,I don't like to seem needy.
I also really struggle with what's considered an emergency. I have called before,needing to talk to him,and have been asked if it's an emergency,and I have said no and didn't talk to him. I have asked him about this,and feeling suicidal is considered an emergency,but I feel like unless I am actually in the process of doing harm to myself I shouldn't call because 'thoughts' aren't really any kind of action.
Plus,I don't like to seem needy.
I also really struggle with what's considered an emergency. I have called before,needing to talk to him,and have been asked if it's an emergency,and I have said no and didn't talk to him. I have asked him about this,and feeling suicidal is considered an emergency,but I feel like unless I am actually in the process of doing harm to myself I shouldn't call because 'thoughts' aren't really any kind of action.
I have noticed that sometimes with my own therapist the first 40 minutes is just fluff. We don't get to the real stuff until the session is almost over. That makes it tempting to run over the time, but I think a good therapist will make a note and then try to pick up at that point the next time. It actually happened today. We talked about all sorts of stuff for 50 minutes and then I asked the question which has been bothering me a lot lately. He doesn't write much during sessions but he did this time.
Ya know,I despise all the writing my T does during sessions.I think it's very annoying. And it makes me feel like I don't have his full attention sometimes because he spends so much time writing.
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I'm glad he doesn't do it every time.
---------- Post Merged at 08:06 PM ---------- Previous Post was at 08:04 PM ----------
I'm glad he doesn't do it every time.
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
I take a lot of notes some sessions too, especially for the first few sessions. I can assure you that it's not a lack of paying attention - quite the opposite - I am listening intently and making notes about what the client is saying, things of importance in diagnosis and treatment planning that I'm going to need to remember in subsequent sessions - or changes in medications, previous medication history, family history, developmental history, relationships history, etc., etc.
You should try to look at your therapist in this light: he is ensuring that nothing important gets forgotten or overlooked, so that he can give you the best therapy possible.
You should try to look at your therapist in this light: he is ensuring that nothing important gets forgotten or overlooked, so that he can give you the best therapy possible.
My therapist takes a lot of notes. It freaked me out at first but now I'm glad he does. It saves me from repeating a lot of stuff or if I forget something he can usually flip back and reference it. I've learned that even when he's writing he's still listening attentively and will frequently stop and look up and interject or stop writing to talk about something.
My first therapist never took notes. He said he kept my emails to him and those were his notes.mg: If I'd known that at the beginning I would have written them very differently :lol:.
My first therapist never took notes. He said he kept my emails to him and those were his notes.
mg: If I'd known that at the beginning I would have written them very differently :lol:.I guess that's a good way to look at it. Sometimes I imagine he is making a grocery list or doodling. If he is jotting down things of importance then I must be saying alot of significant things because the file he takes notes in looks as thick as a bible.
That's true for me too.It is nice that my t can flip through and tell me exactly when I talked about something,or when something has happened that I have forgotten.
Sometimes when I am talking,he is looking me in the eyes,yet I notice he is also writing at the same time.That seems funny to me because I wonder what his writing looks like when he does it.
Maybe it's not the note taking that annoys me,maybe it's not knowing what he's writing that bugs me.I have thought about asking to see his notes,but I'm not sure I would really want to.
There's probably not much benefit to you seeing his notes. He's writing about what you're telling him, and what he needs to remember that will be helpful to you and his treatment strategy. Sometimes my T won't be writing much but then I'll say something and he'll start writing a lot so I figure what I said must be important. I'll make a mental note myself to maybe come back to it. So in a sense, I feed off the amount of writing he does sometimes. I don't care what he writes. He can write that polka dots should always be purple and three inches in diameter if its going to help him help me.
My previous therapist rarely took notes. In fact if I wrote him something because I was too ashamed to say it out loud to his face, but felt it needed to be said, he would let me take the note back.
However, my current therapist occasionally jots things down. I'm a bit of an unfocused blatherer who goes off on tangents and he has to reel me in sometimes. lol He has looked back for references before, too.
However, my current therapist occasionally jots things down. I'm a bit of an unfocused blatherer who goes off on tangents and he has to reel me in sometimes. lol He has looked back for references before, too.
I have done that too and have been able to take the notes back. I have even asked for one back the following session,and then ripped it up.
Most of the time though,I have been writing down what I want to say ahead of time and then read it while I am there. I like that my therapist asks if he can keep them or if he can make a copy. Sometimes I let him have it or make a copy,but lots of times I rip them into little shreds and throw them away right after I read them.
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