[Trigger] Been good for a while; I faltered

[ladylore]

Thanks Ladylore

Yes, I threw the "tool" in the dirtiest trash area I could find in the garbage :blush:

I often get SI urges, but often I get almost outside myself, like I am in auto pilot or something and those times are when I actually SI. My Psychiatrist calls them "episodes" but not really sure what that really means in medical terms.

What has helped me is to get in touch with the sensations I have before I dissociate, in full-blown f it mode.... It takes a bit to really catch the early warning signals but through practice I have gotten fairly good at it.

I can now with pretty good frequency ward off obsessive thoughts, rages, really stubborn modes - therefore warding off behaviours that are really aren't in my best interest. Like drug and alcohol use, writing letters and sending them (believe me - not a good idea for me to do) and a few other behaviours.

They are different for everyone I would think. Do you have an early warning system yet? May be a topic that could be brought up with your psychiatrist.

But tonight you did one of the most important things you could do - you reached out. :clap:

Proud of you my friend.

 

[NicNak]

Thank you Ladylore. It is hard, I must confess to reach out. Even though I have been here quite a while, I still find it difficult.

I am glad I reached out too. Thanks again :friends:

 

[NicNak]

How embarrassing! That is absolutely what I meant (it just wouldn't be a typical posting night for me on this board if I didn't stick my foot in my mouth at some point.)

It is no worries Fiver. I did not take it the wrong way. I took it as "Don't stop" as in reaching out. :friends:

 

[Retired]

My Family Doctor .......... says to be extra careful with SI cause as much as I do not feel the SI, I also have a high pain threshold she says.

You expressed concern about seeing your Family Doctor, but it seems you can feel reassured that she understands what you are dealing with and you can feel confident she will support you when you explain to her what happened.

Your doctor is your ally, your partner in your health care.

 

[NicNak]

I made my appointment, I will see her Wednesday. I feel ok today, just pretty tired. I am relieved to have gotten an appointment. Again, the anxious mind had me thinking "what if she is on vacation too". I didn't sleep too good thinking about that.

I am relieved though to have got the appointment.

I still have those negative feelings of embarassment for SI'ing.

It is amazing, I am genuinly supportive of those who SI and comforting them I empathize cause I know how hard it is.

But when it comes to me, I do not give myself any credit at all. Go figure.

 

[ladylore]

It is amazing, I am genuinly supportive of those who SI and comforting them I empathize cause I know how hard it is.

But when it comes to me, I do not give myself any credit at all. Go figure.

I've known this one well NN. At times it still gets me.:support:

But when I really consider it - I know I am supportive of others and I to deserve the support.

And one thing I hope you haven't forgotten or will down play. You didn't SI for a full year. That's reason to celebrate. :funky::funky:

 

[Fiver]

It is amazing, I am genuinly supportive of those who SI and comforting them I empathize cause I know how hard it is.

But when it comes to me, I do not give myself any credit at all. Go figure.

We are always our own worst critics, aren't we? If you asked me, I'd honestly give you a rave review right now. You're doing everything right. High five to you.

:2thumbs:

 

[NicNak]

Thanks very much Ladylore. Yes a year of not SI'ing is good.

Thanks Fiver. I appreciate your support as well.

I am again, glad I have you folks here. I know my mom has saw my arm, yet has not said anything. In a way I am glad I do not have to try to explain it to her. I just told her I have an appointment to see the doctor on Wednesday.

Thanks again, everyone. I am feeling stronger today and have some cautious optimism.

 

[Jackie]

nicnak,

Please don't feel stupid,, it happens. Glad your seeing your Dr. Much love and hugs to you:hug:

 

[NicNak]

Thanks everyone for your support. I truly appreciate it.

I went to my doctor. I did not require a tetnus shot. She assured me everything will be ok and that she and my psychiatrist will monitor me every step of the way though my rehabilitation. My psychiatrist called me back too, and assured me too, so I am feeling soooo much better.

 

[Into The Light]

great to hear nicnak. i am really glad you have so many people on your side who are helping you with your best interests at heart :goodjob: