- Thread starter Daniel E.
- Start date
Some tangential thoughts:
- Laziness is a myth and such a self-schema can rob one of hope.
- Motivation doesn't matter.
- Depression (and often anxiety as well) can be seen as a constriction of social space -- e.g. confining oneself to the home -- rather than something marked by physical inactivity. For example, it took me a while to realize that even little things like eating inside of Subway rather than eating at home can be helpful.
- A counselor or therapist is often needed, even if only for a few sessions.
- A gradual approach is usually recommended. A weariness of the self can develop if one's short-term goals are too big or one compares oneself to others ("the cult of performance").
- Some tasks like housekeeping may not be important anyway for personal happiness and can be outsourced to others if need be.
"Life begets life. Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one become rich."
— Sarah Bernhardt
— Sarah Bernhardt
From the slides:
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gooblax
MVP
I definitely need to give this another read through. Have really been struggling just to get basic stuff done, let alone make the effort to do enjoyable things that require more than 0 seconds of planning.
This is a great thread - thanks for the various additions to it.
Something that clicked for me was reading some work by Jonice Webb about not having emotional needs and emotional involvement be met enough, or not having that happen enough earlier in life. It suddenly clicked for me that experiencing this or having had hurt, pain, neglect, or not enough deep interest or emotional caretaking, understanding, or high quality emotional involvement from caretakers or a significant person, can be a factor in feeling very unmotivated, uninterested, pointless, tired or drained... actually, her book on this topic is called Running On Empty.
When I started being able to be really seen and heard and have emotional needs met by a therapist doing some schema therapy type of work, things finally started to feel different for me. I guess I just had never put the two things together, and had no idea that for some people this can be a factor in problems with motivation and energy.
Something that clicked for me was reading some work by Jonice Webb about not having emotional needs and emotional involvement be met enough, or not having that happen enough earlier in life. It suddenly clicked for me that experiencing this or having had hurt, pain, neglect, or not enough deep interest or emotional caretaking, understanding, or high quality emotional involvement from caretakers or a significant person, can be a factor in feeling very unmotivated, uninterested, pointless, tired or drained... actually, her book on this topic is called Running On Empty.
When I started being able to be really seen and heard and have emotional needs met by a therapist doing some schema therapy type of work, things finally started to feel different for me. I guess I just had never put the two things together, and had no idea that for some people this can be a factor in problems with motivation and energy.
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"An individual who is able to perceive the bigger picture and be receptive to his or her inner guidance but cannot take action can experience as many difficulties as someone who is all action and impulse with no inner sense of direction or meaning in his or her life."
~ Anita Johnston, PhD, Eating in the Light of the Moon
~ Anita Johnston, PhD, Eating in the Light of the Moon
Daniel, thanks for this thread and all the posts over the years.
Being unmotivated to get anything done today I decided that if I was going to do nothing productive I would do something that would be constructive in the long run and finally get down to reading this thread.
I'll have to go over it again over time to try and find a strategy to start small once the move is over with. Actually the move and getting ready for it is also an opportunity albeit forced to get active. sooner than later it all has to be done.
Being unmotivated to get anything done today I decided that if I was going to do nothing productive I would do something that would be constructive in the long run and finally get down to reading this thread.
I'll have to go over it again over time to try and find a strategy to start small once the move is over with. Actually the move and getting ready for it is also an opportunity albeit forced to get active. sooner than later it all has to be done.
BEHAVIORAL-ACTIVATION THERAPY
People with depression often withdraw from the world, and this therapy seeks to bring them back in. Treatment involves helping people identify activities that add meaning to their life, like reading, volunteering or hanging out with friends, and encourages them to do these things without waiting for their mood to lift first. In a recent study published in the Lancet, this kind of therapy was shown to be as effective as CBT. And it costs much less, because practitioners don’t need as much training.
~ "New Hope for Depression," Time Magazine (July 27, 2017)
People with depression often withdraw from the world, and this therapy seeks to bring them back in. Treatment involves helping people identify activities that add meaning to their life, like reading, volunteering or hanging out with friends, and encourages them to do these things without waiting for their mood to lift first. In a recent study published in the Lancet, this kind of therapy was shown to be as effective as CBT. And it costs much less, because practitioners don’t need as much training.
~ "New Hope for Depression," Time Magazine (July 27, 2017)
forgetmenot
MVP
Maddie Zahm Brings Best Friend in for Her American Idol Audition - American Idol 2018 on ABC - YouTube
I hope this works it shows how this young girl got herself back into the world again.
I hope this works it shows how this young girl got herself back into the world again.
Beat Procrastination With “Temptation Bundling”
...Whether it’s jogging or studying for a final, it’s common to motivate yourself with a reward for completing tasks you dread doing. The old carrot-and-stick method can work, but researcher Katy Milkman suggests a better version: temptation bundling.
Instead of rewarding yourself after you’re productive, use a reward to motivate yourself while you’re completing the task. For example, only listen to your favorite podcast while you jog. Or make it a rule to only visit your favorite coffee shop if you’re studying...
Subjects were 29-51% more likely to exercise when they used temptation bundling.
It should be pretty simple to come up with your bundle, but entrepreneur James Clear suggests an easy exercise to get started. Create a two-column list. In the first column, list all of your temptations: guilty pleasures, things you enjoy. In the second column, write down the stuff you should be doing, but you don’t enjoy: working out, networking, replying to emails. Then, marry the two columns to create a temptation bundle for each task. He offers a few examples:
Only listen to audiobooks or podcasts you love while exercising.
Only get a pedicure while processing overdue work emails.
Only watch your favorite show while ironing or doing household chores.
Only eat at your favorite restaurant when conducting your monthly meeting with a difficult colleague.
...Whether it’s jogging or studying for a final, it’s common to motivate yourself with a reward for completing tasks you dread doing. The old carrot-and-stick method can work, but researcher Katy Milkman suggests a better version: temptation bundling.
Instead of rewarding yourself after you’re productive, use a reward to motivate yourself while you’re completing the task. For example, only listen to your favorite podcast while you jog. Or make it a rule to only visit your favorite coffee shop if you’re studying...
Subjects were 29-51% more likely to exercise when they used temptation bundling.
It should be pretty simple to come up with your bundle, but entrepreneur James Clear suggests an easy exercise to get started. Create a two-column list. In the first column, list all of your temptations: guilty pleasures, things you enjoy. In the second column, write down the stuff you should be doing, but you don’t enjoy: working out, networking, replying to emails. Then, marry the two columns to create a temptation bundle for each task. He offers a few examples:
Only listen to audiobooks or podcasts you love while exercising.
Only get a pedicure while processing overdue work emails.
Only watch your favorite show while ironing or doing household chores.
Only eat at your favorite restaurant when conducting your monthly meeting with a difficult colleague.
Feeling Busy and Distracted? It's Not Your Fault
The best way I’ve found to maintain a proactive mindset is with the daily practice of choosing a Highlight. Try asking yourself the question: When I look back on my day, what do I want the highlight to be? Maybe it’s an accomplishment at work. Maybe it’s a project you’ve been meaning to do at home. Or maybe it’s an activity that brings you joy — a long walk, a board game, or cooking a meal from scratch.
Thinking about what you’re making time for can create the motivation to set new habits into motion. And when your habits fall apart and things don’t go as planned, the daily presence of your Highlight becomes a beacon, reminding you of the decisions you made and the plans you set — and giving you a boost to get back on track.
A daily Highlight can also be the saving grace of an otherwise “blah” day. When you’ve chosen a Highlight, and planned your day to make time for it, you can mark a “win” even if the rest of the day kind of sucks.
That’s one of the reasons I love to work on my Highlight first thing in the morning: When I make time for something important right after waking up, the rest of the day is gravy. A traffic jam, a delayed train, a meeting that runs late, an outdoor workout that’s rained out — these things are a drag, for sure, but when I’ve already made time for my Highlight, I can grab a slice of satisfaction from even the most unsatisfactory of days.
The best way I’ve found to maintain a proactive mindset is with the daily practice of choosing a Highlight. Try asking yourself the question: When I look back on my day, what do I want the highlight to be? Maybe it’s an accomplishment at work. Maybe it’s a project you’ve been meaning to do at home. Or maybe it’s an activity that brings you joy — a long walk, a board game, or cooking a meal from scratch.
Thinking about what you’re making time for can create the motivation to set new habits into motion. And when your habits fall apart and things don’t go as planned, the daily presence of your Highlight becomes a beacon, reminding you of the decisions you made and the plans you set — and giving you a boost to get back on track.
A daily Highlight can also be the saving grace of an otherwise “blah” day. When you’ve chosen a Highlight, and planned your day to make time for it, you can mark a “win” even if the rest of the day kind of sucks.
That’s one of the reasons I love to work on my Highlight first thing in the morning: When I make time for something important right after waking up, the rest of the day is gravy. A traffic jam, a delayed train, a meeting that runs late, an outdoor workout that’s rained out — these things are a drag, for sure, but when I’ve already made time for my Highlight, I can grab a slice of satisfaction from even the most unsatisfactory of days.
What you do is less important than why are doing it and how you are doing it.
~ Alan Cohen
~ Alan Cohen
"A busy chicken is a happy chicken."
~ common saying among chicken keepers
~ common saying among chicken keepers
This One Thing Can Help You Walk an Extra Mile Every Day, Science Says | Eat This Not That
Walking is basically a superpower: It can strengthen your heart, improve your mental health, and make you live longer. With all these benefits, upping your step count is a great New Year's resolution to help you live your best life in 2021. It may seem hard to get in more steps right now, with the weather getting colder and lockdown becoming more severe. Thankfully, researchers have discovered a simple trick to help you meet your fitness goal in spite of the challenges—a new study published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine found that just using a fitness tracking app can up your step count by 1,850 steps per day on average.
Walking is basically a superpower: It can strengthen your heart, improve your mental health, and make you live longer. With all these benefits, upping your step count is a great New Year's resolution to help you live your best life in 2021. It may seem hard to get in more steps right now, with the weather getting colder and lockdown becoming more severe. Thankfully, researchers have discovered a simple trick to help you meet your fitness goal in spite of the challenges—a new study published in the British Journal of Sports Medicine found that just using a fitness tracking app can up your step count by 1,850 steps per day on average.
"Action absorbs anxiety."
—Angeles Arrien
—Angeles Arrien
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