Can I handle my therapist?

[Daffodil]

I have read Dr. Baxter's post on therapy, transference, and counter transference. Okay, so I have a better understanding of the matter now. I think I can be the competent one, and force my therapist to provide me the care he is ethically obligated to provide.

I am going to be strong, and not tolerate his sexual nuances.

I am going to acknowledge, that he is human and has feelings too - as he has told me on more than one occasion.

If I can do this in the therapeutic room, with someone far more powerful than I, then I can probably transfer it outside the therapy.

I hope I am not being a fool, about to walk off the cliff...

 

[Cat Dancer]

Re: I think I am handle my therapist.

It's too late. He can never give you a healthy kind of care. He has already violated your boundaries as a client. What you wish for just isn't going to happen and there isn't anything you can do about it. I would just leave and never go back. Report him to whatever board he needs to be reported to and don't answer his phone calls (if he calls). Just don't go back. I know that sounds easy , but would be very difficult and it must be hard to see that. You can't fix this. It is NOT your fault things are like this. He sounds like a scumbag to me.

 

[Daniel E.]

Re: I think I am handle my therapist.

If he is a bad therapist, why give him more business? Why continue to enable/condone his behavior rather than report him?

If I can do this in the theraputic room, with somone far more powerful than I, then I can probably transfer it outside the therapy.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rationalization_(making_excuses)

 

[Daffodil]

Re: I think I am handle my therapist.

Right on guys. I read the wiki link from Daniel. Seems to hit the nail on the head.

I am waiting for my university referal to one of their therapist.

Once, I get in there, I am going to talk to the other doc, about the current doc, and help suss out the ending process.

Good to read counter thoughts to illogical reasoning that goes on inside my head.

Abusers hold so much power over their victims. I am terribly afraid to bring him to the board, and make him answer for the names he called me, and inappropriate things he said, not to mention the touching!!! He knew what he was doing. Wants to get me going, is what he wants to do. He knows how that makes me feel (silly, idiot me.)

I feel that he is going to be vindictive in some way shape or form if I report him - then again, this is the fear of all abusees?

 

[forgetmenot]

Re: I think I am handle my therapist.

The first step the most important step is for you not to go back there not to give him any more power Walk away and discuss it with the new therapist but no more talking to this guy no more feeding into his sickness walk away NOW. Let you new therapist decide what next step should be taken okay you just have to accomplish the first step walking away.

 

[Daffodil]

Don't have a new therapist yet. But making arrangement to have one.
I have been doing some reading on the Board's website - and everythng he's said to me, is a clear indication of wrong doing on his part.
I haven't worked up the courage to go to the board yet. I may never.
I wonder how come other's haven't complained about him. I was describing the therapy to a friend, and she said, "drop him, he's done this before"
From what I read up, they can receive complaints but still practice - cause it's their livelyhood. One pychotherapist in my province, slept with his patient, but before that, there were at least 5 complaints for sexual violations. So I think where there is smoke there has to be fire.

---------- Post added at 10:56 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:42 PM ----------

Well, I have a feeling the doc knows what's going on. I think he is not going to give me another appointment. That way he can say he ended the treatment, and therefore, the balance of the scale will be on his side.

I want to end the sessions, so he can't claim I did something wrong.

I talked to him about ending last session, and expressed my fears. More to come on this and what he said.

I was reading up on the college website - under what circumstances a doctor can end a treatment - and foul language is one of them. He swears repeatedly though I have asked him to stop. He also gave me the finger once, then gave me what he calls the" the double' meaning the both middle fingers

One session when he was being particularly nasty, i said "i am sorry you are having a bad day" and he said, " @#$% you",

Point is, I am accusomed to the swearing and no longer take offence, but the problem is I copy him outside the therapy room.