cant go on

[hidden_cry]

i feel like i cant go on
in this life or this house
my family sees me but they pretend theres nothing wrong
even tho they see it
its not there
i hate my life
i wish it would end
im into drugs
i smoke a pack a week
i dont know what to do
im scared of men
even my closest friends
i cant go on

ashley

 

[Lost]

Hey Ashley,

Can I help at all? Will you tell me what's wrong?

Your pain leaps off my computer screen and it's hurting me.

I had stuff with my family when clearly everything was wrong but they pretended it was all fine. And I've learned that that was the only way they could handle it. They couldn't handle hearing about all my serious issues. They hoped my problems would go away by ignoring me. But although what they did was stupid, cruel and hurtful to me, I realise now that they still loved me deep down. They were just scared and confused. Maybe your family is like that too. They love you and want to help, but they don't know how to. I know as a mother - the amount I love my child... I just can't imagine ever not loving her.
Your parents love you deep down no matter what you do, and no matter how they act.
my father used to hit me loads. I used to try and think he hated me, but now I know - he loves me deep down. He's just clueless about how to express that love. (and he has serious anger issues... among others...) He doesn't know how to be positive. He shows his love by giving me attention and showering me with criticism (-that's when he has the time for me.)

What's with your closest friends? Are you scared of them? When I was in my horrible horrible teenage years I didn't have any close friends.
And I also went through a scared-of-men phase.

How old are you? What's making you feel so bad?

Please post back and let me know, I want to try make your life better. You deserve better.